Always Trust God

Growing up I’ve had plenty of experiences that showed me how the world is and who I really am . Two years ago when I was 12 I lost someone who was very special to

Balancing my time with school and taking care of my dad and aunt every day after school to care for them was quite challenging. Although they both insisted to focus on my studies instead of them I refused because they meant the world to me and I was afraid to lose them. Within time everything got better for my family. I learned a lot from all the crying and anger I had and I learned to value time and loved ones more than and this is where my outreach to god came into the picture I have never had a close relationship with God but dealing with my father and aunts illness gave me the motivation to reach to God. I believe that because of him my father will someday find that kidney donor and his eye surgeries will continue to let him recover a bit more of his eye sight and also the reason why my aunt conquered colon cancer.

Social anxiety is something I have always had although I did not always know what it was. I thought it was only something that those living under a rock and had never seen people had. I now know that anyone can have it. When I was a little kid, people would tell me what beautiful features I have and I would be so shy and self-conscious that I would hide behind my parents. My parents thought I was just shy but that was only part of it. I have failed many times and wasted many opportunities to expose myself to my anxiety and maybe even overcome it. Although I have always had social anxiety it only escalates the older I get. There was a time where I did not want to face my fears. I was told by not only my mom but many others that I would become agoraphobic. I never tried to get better. Ignoring “the monster” as I call

I was very shy and awkward during my adolescent years. A cringe-worthy yet endearing moment of reflection of suppressed memories. I was the fourth child out of five, to two immigrant parents. We were a low income family with no budget for vacations or expensive school trips. Socially I was not accepted. I was always the outlier. Subsequently, I was bullied and it impaired my childhood for quite sometime. I felt as if I was sentenced to social death that I just could not replevy before the end of adolescent years. Other students taunted and jeered at me habitually; even with uncontrollable factors. I specifically remember my Haitian heritage being one of the domineering methods of my torture. I recall that being subjected

I was one of the tallest people in my grade, and was super skinny. With my mild Cerebral Palsy, I had speech problems for a long time. Due to all of this, I didn’t exactly fit in. Every day as I walked in the doors, I would completely shut down. My grades fell, and I blocked most of the world out. I could here the “popular” groups whispering and giggling every time I walked in the hall and notes would be passed around in class. I sat at a table in the corner by myself, I didn’t have any friends in

Imagine someone, like myself, being shunned by her own peers in school simply by acting a little different. I was labeled as weird, annoying, and a whiner. The way that I approach with others may not be the most appropriate way to gain some friends. The way I act when I am cheerful, down, or irritated may also be different and the fact that I would leave class for speech therapy a few times a week may not be as normal as I thought it was. However, I did show some intelligence in class, especially math while struggling in Language Arts. Over the years, I manage to grew out most of my speech problems but retain my own unique personality and behavior. Eventually, I made some friends in my high school years and even graduated with honors from

Growing up, I was the short skinny kid who played all of the sports and was always surprisingly better than I was supposed to be. I went to an elementary school of five guys in my grade and were nothing like me in any way. School has always been hard for me, even in elementary school because all of the teachers treated me like the kid with a disability. They always put me in the “slower” groups for all of my subjects except for Physical Education, which was the only class that I excelled in for all of elementary school. But, even in sports like basketball and baseball, I was always put on the B team because I was too small and not strong enough. I didn’t have anything going for me at all. I had braces 2nd-6th grade, hit puberty before everyone else so I had bad acne as a 3rd grader, got a 0/20 on my adding simple fractions test, and was in the Cow group for English(The slowest group possible). I took elementary school as motivation for who I am now as a senior in high school to better myself and prove everyone I

When I started reception at Challa Gardens Primary school, that’s when I began to differentiate from the other kids my age. I always had a different way of looking at things, I held a lot of empathy for everyone even those who didn’t have anything to be empathetic about and even at such a young age, I would overthink everything. About half way through reception I came to the realization that I didn’t really have friends. I hang around people but looking back at it now, they always seemed annoyed by my presences. This is when my anxiety began to creep in, my fear of rejection. Which also caused my social anxiety because I fear getting close to

Throughout many of my journal entries I express the fear of going outside of my comfort zone. This fear I have is the reason why I am not vey social able or outgoing. In many of my reflections I also express the fact that I’m afraid of other people and how they will judge me. Last week in class we learned about how adolescence believe in an imaginary audience. I don’t think I ever really grew out of believing in an imaginary audience. I still constantly think I am the center of people’s attention and not in a good way.

When I first came to America, I was bullied because I was different, and judged of every action so I could be mocked by the way I behaved. I used to have no problems asking where the bathroom is, and I didn’t care about my accent or grammar as long as I got the message across. But years growing up in a tiny Southern town, unaware of the existence of the Asian race, molded me into a different person. I was, and still, fearsome of social situations, as little as asking someone in class for a pencil. I could never ask for help because I was afraid what will happen during the process, or after. In my head, I’d imagine instances where my voice could crack while asking, the class could go silent focusing their attention onto me, or worse, finally having the courage to ask, but it turns out the person I asked had rejected my request. This personality of mine is so painful at times, I considered it as a disorder. I was always stuck in between this thick social barrier; I couldn’t approach anyone, always the one waiting to be approached. But, unlike the silent students who are great scholars, I was never a great student myself, and I suffered immensely. When it was time for group projects, I was always the fatboy in PE, having the teacher assign me to a random group. I’ve been trying to overcome this social anxiety by forcing myself to talk to new people,

As a young child, I was timid towards participating in class activities, and I would not seek help if I was struggling because I was terrified of judgement from both my teacher and my peers. I was so insecure about myself, that I became obsessed with the idea that I was obligated to complete any task anyone gave me because I was a burden on them and their life. I would go out of my way to help someone on their homework to my own grade’s deficit, or I would knowingly place myself into the middle of social drama I was not involved in simply because I could not say no. This eventually resulted in me becoming both emotionally and physically exasperated. I began to isolate myself from both friends and family. This way, I could not be held accountable for

When I was just figuring out what was happening, I was never happy. Every time I laughed or smiled, it wasn’t genuine. Not being happy as a child was really tough because I saw all my friends smiling and laughing and I was always jealous of that. My anxiety was basically taking over my life, so I tried to not let it be as bad as it was. As I got older, it got worse, but my confidence was more evident. Starting junior high, I was still struggling with the anxiety and my insecurities. I remember on the first day of school I sat in the bathroom for lunch because I didn't have any friends and I didn't want to eat with someone I didn't know. I soon made friends and didn't worry about having an anxiety attack every day at lunch. Making new friends has always been a hard thing for me. I can't simply go up to someone and start a conversation with them without feeling my blood rushing through my body or feeling like I’m bothering them. My mom always tells me to “make new friends”, but I don't think she realizes that I literally can't. I have no idea how I have friends right now because I can't talk to

I have lived nearly fifty years and I have seen life as it is. Pain, misery,

Throughout sixth grade I wandered the school halls glancing at other students smiling and laughing. All I wanted was a friend to associate with in those times of need. Low self-esteem was a result of me being alone. Many times, I struggle with classwork and homework due to not having the courage to ask questions. My grades were slowly decreasing and what I thought I knew became blank to me. Not having confidence in what I knew affected me.

The purpose of this literature review is to investigate the difficulties a social phobic student has regarding academic progress.