An Emotionally Abusive Relationship Disclosure

Several years ago I was in a controlling and abusive relationship. My partner was very domineering and demeaning to me. There were times that I was so afraid of him, that I would not speak unless he allowed me. I was in this relationship for six years and it caused me to suffer mental anguish and I developed esteem issues. Although, that abusive relationship affected me negatively, I had to believe that I would get better. Adverse situations can cause long lasting issues. However, it is very possible to overcome those difficulties with positive reinforcement during times of adversity (Cicchetti, 2010).

Hello, my name is Dee and I am a survivor of domestic abuse. A good friend asked me if I would write a piece about domestic abuse. He said it would be therapeutic for me and beneficial for other women who have been abused or are being abused, and I think he is right. So here I sit wondering where to begin, after about an hour of emotional flashbacks. And when I do think about this I wonder how on earth could I have let it go on, and for as long as it did. And more-so, what did I ever do to deserve it. I was never abused as a child. Never beaten or abused emotionally or mentally, never called names, or cursed at, and I suppose I grew up thinking this was how it was for everyone. I was only 19 when I met my abuser. I already had a son, and had been out on my own for 2 years. Life was hard, bringing up a baby, surviving on living assistance, living in ghetto like neighborhoods. I had always aspired to be a journalist, but my dreams were broken when I became pregnant right out of high school and was forced out of the house to care for my son. I met my abuser one day when I was down town shopping with my son. He came into my life like a "wolf in sheep 's clothing", and was just about as nice as he could be. I suppose I was somewhat lonely since I never got to go out very often. He soon moved in with me and helped me with my son, helped in the house, and helped financially so things were definitely looking up. Or so I thought. He was from an abusive home himself, and years

In The Stranger, the author exposes the audience to many unhealthy relationships that may or may not be identified. In part one of The Stranger the novel introduces Salamano, Meursault’s neighbor, and his dog who is in an abusive relationship some may consider physical and verbal. This type of relationship is most remembered throughout the book because it is physical abuse but is it so different from the relationship Meursault had with his deceased mother? Some readers argue that no harm was inflicted onto the mother by Meursault, therefore, cannot be considered an abusive relationship but neglect is still on the table for a factor in their connection. The correlation between Salamano and his dog can be compared to Meursault and his mother in many ways but each link has different details. The relationship Salamano has with his dog is more loving than what Meursault had with his mother.

Furthermore, factors that contribute to the beginning of violence against an intimate partner is emphasized by both literary texts, correlating with the reality of domestic violence in modern society. The thoughts of conducting abuse may arise in the subconscious mind of a person due to several influences, such as witnessing abuse as a child or mental illnesses, without the person’s intent; however, the choice to carry out the act still lies in the hands of the individual. Those who violate women once continue their abuse for extended periods of time, rarely ever being able to change. According to several psychiatrists who analyze the behaviour and influence of domestic abusers, “people with very traditional beliefs [think] they have the right

The entrapment model suggests that staying in an abusive relationship is a way to justify "past effort and time devoted to the relationship" (Strube, 1988). The investment model challenges that the more time, effort, money, emotion, etc. invested into a relationship the longer one devotes to staying in the relationship even when intimate partner violence is frequent. The hypotheses were that women more subjectively invested in baseline data would be especially likely to engage in relationship sacrifices following Intimate Partner Violence. These findings were not supported by the results. The second hypotheses were that women in the long term dating relationship were more likely to engage in relationship sacrifices following Intimate Partner Violence. This proved to be accurate. Researchers suggest that the results may not be generalized to the general population because of the lack of ethnicity and the small severity of abuse occurring.

Healthy relationships involve a variety of different aspects such as respect, trust, and consideration. Unfortunately, some relationships aren’t meant to be healthy and they often turn to abusive relationships. Abuse can be physical, emotional and or sexual. Physical abuse are seen in various ways such as punching, kicking, choking, and or any other form of physical violence intended to hurt the other person. For a person who has experienced an abusive relationship it may be difficult for them to describe those particular feelings and the pain that they’ve gone through. One of the most important and original poets of the twentieth century is known as May Swenson and In her poem “Bleeding” she addresses the important issue that is recurrent in society; she embodies her personal life and illustrates the theme of abusive relationships, and it lets us as the audience gain a deeper understanding of the relationship between an abuser and victim through the significant use of symbolism, form and personification.

They were unnecessary for anyone to say those things, especially a parent. Instead of standing up for him I stopped visiting my dad and so did he it caused us to become distant. He wouldn’t tell me certain things because he didn’t want himself to be seen as a weak or emotional person. Before he told me this I thought it was because we fought so much. He went on to tell me that our father was hurting him emotionally when he said things like 'Stop crying like a girl' or when I said that he was acting like girl for crying, it took a toll on him and being thought of as weak by someone he loved wasn't something he wanted to deal with, this made me feel instantly guilty. I had so many questions to ask like why did I think that it was okay to make fun of him while he was hurt and why people only connected crying with girls when it is normal. Those questions were ones that I would have to answer for myself, but I wouldn't be able to provide a good

Aggressing: Aggressive forms of abuse include name-calling, belittling, accusing, blaming, threatening, ordering, and stalking. These behaviors are usually direct and very obvious. Through this behavior, the abuser undermines the equality and autonomy needed to have a healthy relationship. The relationship takes on a more parent-to-child pattern of communication. A more indirect form of emotional abuse can be disguised as “helping.” Abusers may use criticism, advice, probing, and questioning as a sincere attempt to offer their partner help. In some instances, however, these behaviors can be used by an abuser as an attempt to belittle, control, or demean their partner or spouse rather than to help them.

While I know what a healthy relationship consist of, it made me realize that even more women than I originally thought are probably victims of an abusive relationship. There are some women that I work with now or over the past few years that everyone in the office thinks their spouse is a “jerk” or that they deserve better but never really thought of them as a victim. A lady that I worked with recently would have to call her husband and talk to him during her lunch hour because he believed that she was cheating on him. He would also control what she wore and would not like when she would have make-up on. Her spouse would think she wore make-up to attract other men. I knew the way he would treat her was not right but never once thought she was involved in an abusive relationship. Abusive relationships to me are relationships in which one is forced to participate in unwanted sexual advances or activities and physical abuse such as hitting, chocking etc.

The abusive partners use economic means to control the women to stay in the relationship. The women do not have any access to cash or a checking account. Men use tactics that negatively affect the women's ability to establish or maintain economic freedom. The tactics that men use include harassing women about money matters, destroying the women's credit, stopping women from working, and forcing the women to have sex for money (Swanberg & Macke, 2006). The risk is high for women who lack financial stability, who will end up being trapped in an abusive relationship (Kaukinen, Meyers, & Akers, 2013). The obstacles that women face because of economic dependence are serious for many victims of domestic violence (Sanders & Schnabel, 2006).

A woman was in an abusive relationship for 13 years till made the decision to leave her partner. After the separation he maintained control over her through their child. The stalking and harassment escalated as she received around 60 emails and 20 texts a day. After being diagnosed with a stress related condition, she reported him to the police.

Speaking to a trusted friend, acquaintances, family, support group, or psychologist can help improve your mental state. After an emotionally abusive relationship depression and anxiety can take over your life. Expressing your emotions can make you feel supported and through proper therapy your self-esteem can be re-built.

Although all therapists are aware of the childhood emotional abuse issue, it is possible that only few therapists understand the scope of the issue. Emotional maltreatment is harder to detect than other forms of abuse because it is more subtle. When Child Protective Services (CPS) conduct family assessments, it is the hardest form of abuse to prove because parents are very open about the topic and emotional abuse does not leave any physical evidence behind. However, it certainly influences a child's self-esteem, promotes the feeling of guilt, insecurity, and creates the inability to form stable relationships during adulthood. Although some behavioral disorders are related to emotional abuse, it is not possible to predict it correctly

The last relationship I was involved in was incredibly hostile and aggressive. I’m going to analyze a behavioral episode my ex boyfriend had while we were together. The incident occurred in October while he was home on leave from the military. On this particular day I could see that something was off because he was acting anxious and moody. We were sitting in my room watching television when he brought up the fact that he thought I cheated on him while he was gone. He told me he went through my texts and saw messages that led him to this conclusion. In reality, this was invalid because I never cheated on him or talked to another man for that matter. I defended myself and he became increasingly angry. He began yelling at me, calling me names, and repeatedly saying I was a liar. Eventually he stood up and punched my ceiling, which caused me to feel afraid for my safety. I tried to leave the room, but he pushed me back and wouldn’t let me out. The outburst became physical when he got on top of my and began choking me. While the episode was occurring he was talking about his friend that died on deployment. When he punched my ceiling he cut his hand open, which caused it to bleed a lot.

While my family is in the turmoil of fighting and yelling, I have also learned that it is not okay to show emotions. In fact, if you show emotions you are belittled and spoken down to, which only makes the abuse worse. My father has a craving for power, an example of his abusive tenancies and the loss of emotional expression in my household can be shown in a conversation we had this summer. I do not know what we were speaking about, but I believe it was history of some event happening. He thought it was one date and I remembered it was another, so I kindly corrected him. This caused him to snap into one of his anger out bursts and he told me I thought I was so much better than he was, and why am I such a bitch to him and everyone else. It also caused him to