An-Mei Experience

Mai’s fear of losing the memories of her family leads her to realize the significance of her life and ultimately the possibility of losing her understanding.

The courage that An-Mei learns and is formed by ultimately affects her daughter, Rose. An-Mei states, “Even though I taught my daughter the opposite, still she came out the same way!” (241) when she is talking about her own upbringing, as she was raised to “desire nothing, to swallow people’s misery, to eat [her] own bitterness.” (241) This shows that despite her courage, she still passed on her passiveness to her daughter. However, it is also seen that like her mother, Rose has two instances of incredible courage that parallel her mother’s. The first is when she dates and eventually marries Ted despite her mother and mother-in-law’s opposition; “In those early months, we clung to each other with a rather silly desperation, because, in spite of anything

Since her mother expressed her words in an imperfect manner, tan believed that her thoughts were also imperfect (Tan 274). Her perception was also supported by how people in society responded to her mother. Tan states that people in department stores, banks, and restaurants would not take her mother seriously. They would provide her bad service, pretend not to understand her, or act as if they were mute (Tan 274). This further contributed to Tan's feeling of embarrassment and shame towards her mother. Tan also describes an incident in which her mother went to the hospital and was told that the hospital had misplaced her CAT scan. The hospital did not show any remorse for losing the scan, nor did they assure her that they would locate it, that is until her mother had Tan speak to the hospital (Tan 275). As a reader this shows us how language is perceived and the role that it plays in the lives of individuals. For Tan it was imperative that she was able to blend in and be like others, so that she wouldn't be ridiculed. Luckily, she was able to realize the positive influence that her mother's diction bought her.

Furthermore, the author explores the tone of the novel by providing specific details. In An-mei's childhood story, the author chooses to describe the pain An-mei feels as the soup pours over her by providing details of the twinge. She describes it as "the kind of pain [specially] terrible that a little child should never remember it" and how it still remains "in [An-mei's] skin's memory" (Tan 39). By depicting these details of the pain, Tan expresses the feeling of misery An-mei feels, which appends to the melancholy tone. Additionally, in the story of Ying-ying's first marriage, the author presents explicit details of the emptiness Ying-ying feels by portraying details of her as "a tiger that neither pounce[s] nor lay[s] waiting between the trees" and "an unseen spirit" (Tan 285). This emptiness Ying-ying feels seems to indicate the melancholy tone that appears noticeable in the novel. Clearly, the details Amy Tan chooses to describe in the novel seem to specify the somber tone.

During one of the first examples in the novel, An-Mei sacrificed her own blood and tears for her mother because it was her way of showing

trouble and so she would listen to her mother. Anmei’s use of the Twenty-Six Malignant Gates

An-mei and Rose have similar character development in that Rose’s character development aided her relationship with An-mei. In “Scar” and “Magpies,” An-mei reveals how she was taught to desire nothing and swallow her tears. Because of her experience with a deceptive, multi-wife household and her mother’s suicide, An-mei taught Rose the opposite of this Chinese way. However, An-mei realizes that Rose came out the same way regardless of her teachings (page 215). An-mei tells Rose that Rose was born without wood and would bend to listen to other people if she was not careful (page 191). Rose grows up believing everything her mother says and is prone to nightmares led by Mr. Chou. In Rose’s failed marriage, she does not make any decisions and just lets things happen. Rose finally takes a look at

Jing-Mei did not believe in herself as much as her mother did. In the text, it states, “It was not the only disappointment my mother felt in me. In the years that followed, I failed her many times.” This quote shows how the differences between the viewpoints of Jing-Mei and her mother caused them to more and more separate from each other. Because of the viewpoint of Jing-Mei’s mother, Jing-Mei stopped believing in herself and started to fail everything.

When she looked herself in the mirror (pg 407) she saw just an ordinary face and began to cry. She then saw what seemed to be the prodigy side of her self. She saw an angry powerful girl that only wanted to use that energy to resist her mother hopes for her. Through out the story Jing Mei seems to be a complicated character having many inner and outer conflicts. The mother comes across as being controlling and constant on push her daughter to become famous.

Jing-Mei feels differently though, “Unlike my mother, I did not believe I could be anything I wanted to. I could only be me,” (359/80) and she was correct for she had no natural musical talent. Jing-Mei has a desire to please her mother, but an even stronger one to choose her own life. She pacifies her mother by going to piano lessons but puts in no effort. Jing-Mei is “…determined to put a stop to her blind foolishness,” (356/48) but her mother’s desire to create a prodigy to compete with Aunt Lindo’s daughter, keeps her focused on the impossible. That is, until Jing-Mei escalates this conflict to its breaking point in rebellion. Stunning her mother, she shouts “Then I wish I’d never been born! I wish I were dead! Like them,” (359/77) referring to the twin daughters her mother lost in China. Sadly, the mother’s desire to have Jing-Mei conform to her expectations creates a constant battle between mother and daughter, and, in rejecting those expectations, seeing disappointment in her mother’s face all too often causes Jing-Mei to feel, “something inside me began to die” (353/18).

As she recalls back on this time by telling her daughter what she calls her Kweilin story, Suyuan describes her feeling during this horrible time as “And inside I was no longer hungry for the cabbage or the turnips of the hanging rock garden. I could only see the dripping bowels of an ancient hill that might collapse on top of me. Can you imagine how it is, to want to be neither inside nor outside, to want to be nowhere and disappear?” (22) At this point in her life Suyuan was separated from her husband who is in the military and eventually is forced to abandon her two young daughters. This aspect of Suyuan’s life parallels the life of Amy Tan’s mother. Daisy tan was also married to a military man during the Chinese Civil War and like Suyuan was forced to abandon her two daughters in Shanghai. This was an experience that would affect her mother for the rest of her life and a story she would continue to tell and never forget. The life of Amy Tan is also a parallel to the life of Jing-Mei Woo of “June”. As a young girl June was forced to play the piano and practice constantly to become the best like Amy Tan was as a child. Along with playing the piano Suyuan also had high expectations for June as far as her future. She wanted her daughter to be the best in her class and go off to medical school to become a well educated doctor, the same expectation’s Amy Tan’s mother had for her. Both daughters decided to follow their dreams and

Primarily, Tan establishes the theme of the story through characterization. The protagonist, Jing-mei, finds it difficult to live up to the high expectations her mother has set for her. After seeing so much disappointment in her mother’s face, Jine-mei “look[s] in the mirror above the bathroom sink and when [she] saw only [her] face staring back – and that it would always be this ordinary face – she began to cry” (Tan 2). This bring Jing-mei and her mother into conflict with Jing-mei eventually screaming at her mother that “‘[she] wish[ed] she were dead. Like them’” (Tan 8). As she matures, Jing-mei becomes a little more level-headed; she then understands her mother only wants the best for her. Through diction and language, the author creates a character that is

Furthermore, in this story Jing-Mei’s mother had her mind fixed into thinking that she needed to

It is hard to let our children to choose their own dreams. When parents show constant disappointment in their children, children can eventually become disappointed in themselves. Seeing her mothers disappointment over and over again starts killing something inside of her. Jing Mei breaks down, “I looked at my reflection, blinking so I could see more clearly. The girls staring back at me was angry, powerful. This girl and I were the same. I had thoughts, willful thoughts, or rather thoughts filled with wont’s. I won’t let her change me, I promised myself. I won’t be what I’m not“ (19). Hopes for making your parents proud can shatter after so much pressure as did Jing Mei’s.

Sex-role expectations were a very important issue in the relationship between An-Mei and her daughter. Throughout the mother's life, she was expected to