Analysis Of Benjamin Franklin's 'Keep Your Eyes Wide Open Before Marriage, Half Shut Afterwards'

Dr. Cloud and Dr. Townsend (1999) have created a comprehensive work titled Boundaries in Marriage. In this book they have outlined what boundaries are and what can be done to create healthy boundaries within a marriage. First, let’s look at the definition of boundaries. Cloud & Townsend (1999) define this as “a property line” (p. 17). In other words in a marriage it is a set of rules that a person sets for themselves so that they can control their emotions; this is also known as ownership. A person must find that ownership within themselves to avoid trying to control or put blame on the other person; this

Marriage is an adjustment between two people getting married Communication can cause a relationship to succeed or fail. If you do not share how you feel, it can cause your partner to withdraw. Listening can save a relationship. Schonberg (2011) found that “affective affirmation –basically, behavior that makes your partner feel loved cared for or special plays a role in a happy marriage and those men need it more than women. There are several factors and problems that can cause marriage to either succeed or fail. It is important to discuss problem things left unsaid can cause your partner to with draw.

Flynn-Piercy (2002) conducted a heuristic study examining the impact of Relate counsellors training on their relationships with their partners. It was found that there was a significant impact on these relationships, which trainees had been unprepared for. The advantages of their training included improved communication, a disadvantage was that partners became “personally de-stablised” (Flynn-Piercy, 2002: 55). Despite the advantages, there was an overall threat to the relationships. This study is, however, not generalisable to all trainee counsellors since it only examined those training as Relate counsellors who specifically work in the area of relationships.

Perfection? Can any one person be perfect? Benjamin Franklin believed that he could accomplish this task. Benjamin Franklin was known for being a cognizant and diligent perfectionist. During his lifetime, many people were concerned with correcting themselves of any fault that they may have had. Benjamin Franklin did have an interesting way to proclaim how he, could show everyone how to be perfect. He believes that he can make himself perfect. Even though his ways of being perfect are not the same as everyone else's ideas, he still tries to show them he can be perfect. In his essay "Arriving at Perfection" Benjamin Franklin tries to tell everyone how he will be perfect and how he is going to actually accomplish this task.

Marriage is oftentimes praised for all its good qualities, but people tend to avoid discussing the downsides of marriage in order to avoid discomfort. Confronting the problems that many couples face in marriage is hard, and most people find it easier to simply overlook any issues they may face to avoid furthering the problem. In “My Problem With Her Anger,” Eric Bartels elaborates on the struggles he and his wife face and what experiencing the effects of spousal anger feels like from a husband’s perspective. Through emotional appeal and anecdotes, Bartels semi-successfully argues that husbands are too often, and unfairly, on the receiving end of their wives’ anger and stress.

First, kindness like super glue can make couples together. Smiths say’s “ Research independent from theirs has shown that kindness is the most important predictor of satisfaction and stability in a marriage.” That is how kindness works in people’s marriage, my grandparents are really good for kind to each other. They are sixty two years old, and they had never argued with each other. My grandfather is a restive person, he often has wrangled with others, but it never happened with my grandmother. My grandmother is really kind, she knows how to resolve the disagreement with my grandfather. She tolerates my grandfather’s crossness and she knows when is the best time to figure out the problems. When I grown up, kindness like a inherit that I

differences” should rightfully be resented, as Kingsolver states, because “every happily married couple I know has loads of irreconcilable differences.” (Kingsolver), therefore not being reason enough to end a marriage.

Interventions and Reflection. The facts of this case are that a group of Orthodox Jews living in

3. This saying is ironic because usually people advise you to know the person before you marry them. This quote is saying that you should wait until marriage to find out who the person really is.

Marriage requires effort and work. Many newlyweds come into a marriage thinking it is easy but do not consider the consequences of marriage that heavily rely on balances and partnership. Marriage is all about compromise. It is important to engage in a premarital program to allow both partners to learn what to expect within a marriage, how to face certain roadblocks, and to better communication when conflict is aroused so that divorce does not become an option. Gottman’s research (2009) has made a significant contribution to the study of relationship and marriage tying unity, harmony, and communication together to make relationship and marriage work. When a couple who does not have consummate love (intimacy, passion, and commitment), they often portray the six indicators of divorce: harsh startup, the Four Horsemen, flooding, body language, failed repair attempts and reflecting on bad memories (Gottman, 2009). Divorce often occurs within the first two years of marriages and almost half of divorces end within the first seven years (Bhutto-Ramirez, 2015).

Benjamin Franklin is revered by Americans as one of its most revered and adored founding fathers. For foreigners, Benjamin Franklin became the very icon of America, not only because he was accomplished, but because he was a new man, a man that could only have been made in America. Franklin came to be seen as the embodiment of American values.

In Chaucer’s “Franklin Tale” the plot revolves around a married couple: the knight, Arviragus, his young wife, Dorigen, and a young squire, Aurelius who importunes and attempts to Dorigen. The characters can be said to oscillate between desire and their ego honor which affects what they say and do. Lacan’s definition of desire tells us that we desire for recognition from this “Other.” Our desire is to become what the other person lacks. Duby’s model of courtly love is a concept that focuses on chivalry, nobility and women being at the center. In this paper, I will examine what the story reveals about the relation each character has to his or her desire, how they act in accordance to their desire and the role magic or illusion plays in the plot and how it affect characters’ relation to desire.

At the core of every healthy marriage is the ability to successfully communicate with each other. If the individuals in the marriage do not communicate effectively, they are both likely to experience frustration, anger and resentment. Effective communication in marriage is honestly the most important aspect of a successful relationship. In “Cathedral,” Raymond Carver is saying that communication within marriage is key and when there is a lack of communication it can cause frustration. This makes each individual disconnected because their true feelings aren’t being talked about so nothing is being resolved. Nobody's born a natural communicator and good communication is the key to improving your relationship.

The stark divide between love and marriage shown right the way through cannot be comprehended fully by the twenty-first century reader: in today’s society marriage and love are mutually exclusive - you very rarely get one

Failing to prepare and preparing to fail, the two go hand in hand. When Benjamin Franklin said this, it is not only accurate, but also extremely relevant to a person’s ordinary day. Whether it be studying for a test, homework, or even just working a job, preparation is the best way to achieve one’s ambition. The first thing that comes to mind when thinking of Franklin’s aphorism, is a high school student wanting to pass an exam or SOL. For most high schoolers, it is a big deal to do well on these end of the year assessments, in order to get into an elite college, or at least of college of choice. Achieving a good score on these exams is no easy task, at least not without preparation.