Analysis Of How To Keep Jealousy And Envy From Ruining Your Life

Comparing ourselves to others is a natural, healthy way to gauge how we are doing in life. However, when we compare our everyday-lives to others only-positive-lives, it becomes unhealthy. As we go on social media, we need to remember to look at everything through a filter because people aren't quite as perfect as they seem. “I later discovered that the classmate who I thought landed a job at NPR was really just an intern. And Payton discovered her friend who landed a killer job after college only did so because her dad had a connection on staff”(Friedlander). I love taking pictures, so consequently I follow a lot of photographers on instagram. There is this one guy who always takes magnificent photos almost everyday and it's hard not to compare yourself to that. Just this last week he shared a photo where he missed this small, but impactful, setting and it ruined his picture with a great sunrise. I think that picture was one of my favorites because it reminded me that he isn't perfect, and in fact has difficulties like I do. Everyone can get in this rut of always comparing yourself to others. While the constant comparisons we are forced to endure through social media aren't a huge deal for some, they can be the pushing or breaking point for someone already struggling with mild depression. Social media is only a part of the now very modernized world we live

The hero’s journey appears in many books. It is very clear in the book Ender's Game. The journey that Ender goes on teaches about a couple things, one of them is compassion. Enders journey begins when he is at home with his family.

Friendships are like those fragile glass ornaments that come out for Christmas. They’re beautiful, until someone does something to damage it. Gene and Finny’s friendship is the same. Its great, until Gene’s mind comes along to ruin it. His jealousy gets in the way of him being able to appreciate Finny’s friendliness towards him.

Jealousy, it is one of the most complex human emotions. Everyone experiences jealousy, but each person reacts upon it differently. In A Separate Peace by John Knowles, Gene is envious toward his lifelong friend Finny. The article “Jealousy: Love’s Destroyer” by Hara Marano, jealousy is perceived as a survival instrument. The video “Ode to Envy” by Parul Sehgal, jealousy can be seen as natural. All three sources identify how each person acts differently in a situation that revolves around envy. In the novel A Separate Piece, by John Knowles, the article “Jealousy: Love’s Destroyer”, by Hara Estroff Marano, and the video “Ode to Envy”, by Parul Sehgal, each author shows that jealousy causes each individual to react differently.

Freitas, Donna. “The Happiness Effect: How Social Media is Driving a Generation to Appear Perfect at Any Cost”. Oxford University Press, 2016. Ebook.

“There is a time in every man’s education when he arrives at the conviction that envy is ignorance; that intimidation is suicide…” (Emerson 370). A Separate Peace, written by John Knowles, takes place at Devon, a preparatory school in New Hampshire, during the 1940’s. Gene Forrester is a student at Devon and drives much of the story’s plot through his intimidation of his best friend Finny. A Separate Peace not only shows how Gene’s envy and intimidation of Finny affected him and his friendship with Finny, but it also shows Gene’s failure in achieving true peace.

Dr. Rachna Jain, a social marketer, says in her article, 4 Ways Social Media is Changing Your Relationships, “people can become so seduced by the ease of connecting with others online that we begin to think that these relationships are more intense, more committed, and more complete than they really are.” Misallocating the priority of real-life relationships on to online ones causes people to hinder their opportunities to make actual relationships of substance. Another effect of being too invested in social media is that we compare ourselves to others too much. With all of the different platforms available on social media, we are able to see very much into other people’s lives, or rather the part of their lives that they want to share which may or may not be doctored. These fake impressions of having perfect lives and always being happy cause people to compare the things that they don’t have to the things that others do and the things that they do have to the things that others have better versions of. Also, knowing that people are watching us all of the time, there is pressure to uphold a specific persona so that we can be the type of person who people

Social media (Facebook, Twitter, etc.) offers infinite connections and the ability to express oneself to the world. But are these connections and images of self-based upon fact or fiction? Through selective self-presentation, people often present the “ideal self” instead of the “actual self” in the online environment to achieve the feeling of positive self-esteem. In “The Way We Live Now: I Tweet, Therefore I Am”, Peggy Orenstein writes of how her Twitter posts reflected an idealized version of her life. Two studies support the hypothesis that such editing can have a positive effect on personal self-esteem. “Mirror, Mirror on my Facebook Wall: Effects of Exposure to Facebook on Self-Esteem” by Amy Gonzales presents a study demonstrating

Many people around the world envy, but some take it to another level. According to Psychology Today, it states that being envied is dangerous do to those who are victims of  jealousy. They state that, “People who are the recipients of envy can feel uncomfortable and hurt.” What this statement points out is that people desire to be someone else which leads to an ambition on knowing everything of that individual. The victims of these jealousies catch scareness and awareness because of the stalkers that follow them everywhere at every moment. Many members of society are focused on others than in themselves. Researchers have shown that individuals focus on what they hate about the person than on what should be appreciated. A few take envy as an evil stitution which only points out the negative side and not the positive side of the person, which leads to other citizens doing harm. For example, nowadays they are hundreds of ways that a civilian's information could spread, such as fake advertisements or social media, which gives unknown creatures the information at their disposal. In an article from Futurity, it explains how some people enjoy seeing “Someone they envy experiences misfortune or pain,” which give them the satisfaction of seeing them fall. Most of the time individuals are stalked or are followed by predators. Some of these predators are “Schadenfreude” and do not care what happens to the person they envy because they can only be one or be in the same level as the jealous person. For instance, studies sought “to better understand who is among these envied groups and whether that envy and jealousy elicits a harmful response,” which is an action to prevent anymore harm to anyone else. A essay written in University of Innsbruck in Austria called Envy or Emulation: A Christian Understanding of Economic Passions states how “Envy has become an important topic of recent intellectual debates.”  In this current time, envy in seen in places such as

Research completed by Gardner, Gabriel, and Hochschild (2002) reveals that when the target for comparison is part is self-construed, it leads the successes of the individual to become a cause for celebration rather than a cost to self-esteem. The current research was based on the theory of self-evaluation in which an individual gains self-esteem when they outperform others and lose self-esteem when they are outperformed. The research from the study shows that we, as humans, are not always greedy and wish to outshine our in-group. Pleasure in successes can be achieved even when we include our friends in our self-views.

This qualitative study wanted to see how swinger couples managed their jealously when their partner has sex with others because in monogamous relationships extra-dyadic sex is not something they do due to jealousy or feeling threaten. The study recruited participants through swinger sites or advertisement. The participants were interviewed and used IPA to study the couples identify and meaning-making. The interviews were later coded. The three questions the study wanted to aim at were to see how swinging couples experience jealousy that may happen since they know that their partner is going to have sex with someone else. Also, is jealousy negative or can be used in a positive way? Possibly, can this study add more understanding to relationships

When a person first thinks of murder, envy probably is not their second thought, but it should be their third. Statistically speaking, jealousy ranks number three in the most common motives for manslaughter. So although it may seem like a simple enough emotion, many feelings coincide. To most, it is a stressful and unwanted inner conflict that can cause or further aggravate thoughts of insecurity and inadequacy. Also, apparently, violence-inducing rage.

Additionally, individuals continue this process by assuming their romantic partners have evaluated the target threat against them in a similar comparative process (Guerrero, et al, 1995). We assume it follows that inducing open-ended feelings of jealousy will elicit a negative effect on one’s self-esteem by encouraging this ruminative comparative

In order to understand the effect that social media has on self-esteem, we need to understand the construct of self-esteem. According to Coopersmith’s definition, self-esteem is “the evaluation which the individual makes and customarily maintains with regard to himself: it expresses an attitude of approval and indicates the extent to which an individual believes himself to be capable, significant, successful and worthy. In short, self-esteem is a personal judgment of the worthiness that is expressed in the attitudes the individual holds towards himself.” (p. 4–5) To put it more simply, self-esteem is the attitude that people have toward their own values.

Envy is a feeling that has been around the society for a long time; therefore, it has been discussed by religions and psychologist throughout the history. “For where envying and strife [is], there [is]