Analysis Of Miscommunication By Deborah Tannen

Deborah Tannen and William Lutz both discuss the difficulty of communicating. Their point of views may be different, but their conclusion is the same. Men and women have difficulties of communicating. Not because the two genders want to be complicated but simply because we don’t realize how or what we’re doing when it’s happening.

Lapses in communication are something everyone has had personal experience with. While reading, a previous relationship kept popping into my head. As Tannen wrote about some of the communication issues in her marriage, I couldn’t stop myself from drawing parallels between our former relationships. The

To define these communication conundrums, Tannen discusses “rapport-talk” and “report-talk”. She defines “rapport-talk” as “For most women, the language of conversation is primarily

In “Sex, Lies and Conversation” Deborah Tannen argues that the problems of men and women in marriage are caused by a misunderstanding rather than lack of communication. Throughout the passage she discusses theses misunderstandings and reveals the solution to the problem.

The articles “Sex, Lies and Conversation: Why is it Hard for Men and Women to Talk to each other” by Deborah Tannen and “Speaking Different Languages” by John Gray are about how men and women often misunderstand each other which causes conflicts and or arguments. When a woman says something it usually has a deeper meaning, but men are usually more direct when speaking; this leads to conflicts and relationship problems. According to Tannen and Gray, men and women can adjust their thinking to minimize misunderstanding by translating each other’s dialect, by understanding their different ways of listening, and different body languages.

This article by Deborah Tannen, written in 1990, addresses the differences between the communication styles of men and women and some of the ensuing problems that arise from these divergent behaviors. The article asserts "that although men tend to talk more than women in public situations, they often talk less at home. And this pattern is wreaking havoc with marriage" (p. 474). Research indicates that a majority of women state a lack of communication as the reason for seeking divorce as compared to only a few of the men. With the divorce rate at 50 percent the author says there is a "virtual epidemic of failed conversation" (p. 474) in America.

In the essay Sex, Lies, and Conversation Deborah Tannen focuses on the differences and lack of communication between men and women though observations. She came to the conclusion that men were not lacking in their listening, but they were however listening in a different way than the women did. On the other hand, men aren’t the only people that have terrible communication skills. In many ways, these differences between the two genders can cause major conflict when not understood by the opposite side. A few examples of lack of communication may be when women don’t decide where they would like to eat, men who walk away from an argument rather than talking it out, and their decision making processes.

In fact, John Gray believes that if a woman does not use the typical register, she will only make the situation worse, and cause the husband to withdraw more. Rivers and Barnet explain how inauthentic communication between the married couple only creates misunderstandings between them, and helps to drive them apart. This lack of emotional and deep communication with men could cause a break in the relationship, and a lack of an emotional connection to his children. If men are already do so little housework and childcare, and spends the majority of his time working (Wade et. al 2015), how will he ever manage to develop a meaningful relationship with his family, especially if he does not communicate with them? Women are not exempt from the problems that come with gendered communication. Because women are inclined to use indirect forms of speech (Disch 2009), they can often cause misunderstandings in their relationships. An example from Ohio State University shows this type of complication due to indirect language:

In the article, “Sex Lies and Conversation; Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other?” author Deborah Tannen, argues that the culture differences in males and females communication, both expect differences in their partners communication which cause damaged marriages. First Tannen mentions, communication in marriage is difficult due to the fact that males and females have come from different cultures. Then Tannen argues, that women expect more intimacy by way of conversation and men share activities in order to gain in their same sex friendships. Tannen also argues that men tend to switch topics often, not concentrating so much on depth as on breadth, not taking turns on same topic; women establish intimacy by diving deeper on a few topics. The author states, male relationships are “agonistic” (Tannen), trying to one up; female relationships are not that way, as they seek equality instead. Finally Tannen, suggests that there are solutions: awareness is key in a cross-cultured communication. (Tannen) While there are some elements to her argument that may generalize too much, in the end, I do find myself convinced by Tannen’s case.

Deborah Tannen is the author of Sex, Lies and Conversation: Why is it So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other. Deborah Tannen is a woman who researches the relationships between men and women. She has not only conducted research but also has information to support her view. In her essay Deborah Tannen argues complications happen in marriages/relationships due to individuals not being able to communicate with each other properly.

In the first chapter of her book, You Just Don't Understand, Men and Women in Conversation, Deborah Tannen quotes, "...studies have shown that married couples that live together spend less than half an hour a week talking to each other...". (24) This book is a wonderful tool for couples to use for help in understanding each other. The two things it stresses most is to listen, and to make yourself heard. This book opened my eyes to the relationship I am in now, with a wonderful person, for about four years. It made me realize that most of our little squabble-like fights could have been avoided, if one or the other of us could sit down and

Communication is not only an essential component of an effective nursing process, but also a key component in every aspect of your life. Nurses use good communication skills to gain the trust of their patient and improve outcomes by doing so. Therefore, we can use the same skills with our family, friends, children and co-workers. Miscommunication can have a negative impact on everyone around you including your co-workers.

Each individual is like a rain drop on the window; none of them are any more significant than another. There are the occasional droplets which are larger than the rest, the ones with a greater influence than the others. As time goes by, a droplet eventually collides with another, and another, and another...until they form a huge puddle and eventually roll away. The result is a chain reaction: the larger rain drops influence others, serving as catalysts in society. However, droplets alone, are fragile and vulnerable. In Franz Kafka's The Metamorphosis and Albert Camus' The Stranger, the significant role of communication is portrayed through two extreme examples. Miscommunication causes serious consequences leading to alienation and

In the article “Talk in the Intimate Relationship: His and Hers” by Deborah Tannen, you will begin to see and discover the differences in conversation between men and women. Discussed throughout this paper are the importance of metamessages, an overview of Tannen’s article, whether Tannen is fair in her article toward both men and women and whether I agree with Tannen’s article as well as experiences of my peer’s and myself.

A Prominent saying state – “Good Communication is the key to a healthy relationship or marriage”; whether it may be verbal or non-verbal. Many marriages end up in divorce, because of neglecting to communicate