Analysis Of Sex Lies And Conversation By Deborah Tannen

In the article, “Sex Lies and Conversation; Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other?” author Deborah Tannen, argues that the culture differences in males and females communication, both expect differences in their partners communication which cause damaged marriages. First Tannen mentions, communication in marriage is difficult due to the fact that males and females have come from different cultures. Then Tannen argues, that women expect more intimacy by way of conversation and men share activities in order to gain in their same sex friendships. Tannen also argues that men tend to switch topics often, not concentrating so much on depth as on breadth, not taking turns on same topic; women establish intimacy by diving deeper on a few topics. The author states, male relationships are “agonistic” (Tannen), trying to one up; female relationships are not that way, as they seek equality instead. Finally Tannen, suggests that there are solutions: awareness is key in a cross-cultured communication. (Tannen) While there are some elements to her argument that may generalize too much, in the end, I do find myself convinced by Tannen’s case.

In “Gender Role Behaviors and Attitudes”, Aaron Devor explains how different men and women are seen from the point of view of society. Masculinity is described by dominance and aggression; however, femininity is totally different by passivity and submission. Some people in the society think that women’s duties are childbirth and breastfeeding, so they are weak, and they need to be protected and supported. This is not completely true because everyone is equal, so women should have the right to do whatever they want. They have the freedom to talk and act as they wish, and they do not need to care about the attitudes of others. However, women need to act feminine to be attractive to men. I agree with Deborah Blum in the article “The Gender Blur:

In “Sex, Lies and Conversation” Deborah Tannen argues that the problems of men and women in marriage are caused by a misunderstanding rather than lack of communication. Throughout the passage she discusses theses misunderstandings and reveals the solution to the problem.

Sociologist Dalton Conley wrote his book, You May Ask Yourself, addressing how “gender is a social construction” that is so normal for society to think how a man or woman should act towards the public. Society often categorizes roles that females and males are suppose to play in, but not only are they categorized they are also being taught what their gender role is suppose to do. The beginning of gender socialization can start with a child who is not born yet by simply having the parents purchase items that are all pink if its expected to be a girl, but if its expected to be a boy then everything they purchase will be blue. Conley states that gender roles are “sets of behavioral norms assumed to accompany ones’ status as male or female” (Conley [2008] 2013:134). So even when a child is growing into their infant years, toys are made specifically for their gender. By examining how social construction places gender in categories it becomes apparent that males and females get differentiated a lot which emphasizes inequality between them.

In the essay Sex, Lies, and Conversation Deborah Tannen focuses on the differences and lack of communication between men and women though observations. She came to the conclusion that men were not lacking in their listening, but they were however listening in a different way than the women did. On the other hand, men aren’t the only people that have terrible communication skills. In many ways, these differences between the two genders can cause major conflict when not understood by the opposite side. A few examples of lack of communication may be when women don’t decide where they would like to eat, men who walk away from an argument rather than talking it out, and their decision making processes.

Bonds between boys are based less on talking and more on doing things together. Boy's groups are larger and more hierarchical and they struggle with group status. The article suggests that women's complaints that men don't listen to them may stem from the fact that being a listener produces the feeling of being talked down to, a

The methods in which men and women communicate are eminently different. This being so, their external state is an indicator of their inner state, but men and women have different external states to express themselves. This is especially evident among children and individuals in relationships, and altered between a couple who tries to adjust their behavior. Deborah Tannen, the author of “Sex, Lies, and Conversation,” argues that boys are girls are taught to have a differ inner state, that males and females usually have the same inner state but express them differently when communicating, and that individuals in romantic relationships can alter the way they present their outer state to represent their inner state in a way their partner can relate to.

Over seven billion people living on earth we are all diverse in our characteristics. We live in societies made up with laws and don’t have the freedom to exploit another person right. People who disobey laws and misuses another person rights are known as morally sick and selfish. They never bear the shame of their actions and always fails to understand others. While laws only ensure peace in a society, families that makes a society needs better understanding between a husband and a wife. Now with divorce rate that is growing higher by each year, Sociologists and psychologists are pointing many aspects and actions of couple that must be taken into consideration before we expect a happy life. Among them “Mark Karpel”, “Abraham Maslow” and

As indicated by the writer Deborah Tannen the article, Sex, Lies, and discussion" is about how contrastingly men and ladies percieve discussion in their relationship. She expresses that absence of discussion is wreaking devastation inside relational unions. this is because of the way that men and ladies have altogether different desires of communication.Tannen depicts how contrasts in correspondence begin in the adolescence socialization. For young ladies, discussion is the foundation of kinship. By sharing insider facts, thoughtsm emotions, and impressions, young ladies and ladies manufacture closeness in their connections. Where as young men fabricate relationsips by doing things together. Young men are more comprehensive with each other,

Deborah Tannen is the author of Sex, Lies and Conversation: Why is it So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other. Deborah Tannen is a woman who researches the relationships between men and women. She has not only conducted research but also has information to support her view. In her essay Deborah Tannen argues complications happen in marriages/relationships due to individuals not being able to communicate with each other properly.

The first thing that comes to my mind when reading an article like this is, "Has this writer maybe encountered frustrating situations like this before?", or "Is the writer possibly trying to express personal emotions in the topic discussed?" Whatever the case may be, the point she is trying to make is clear to me. It is the events and relationships that happen early on in life that may interfere and have effect on the intimate relationships that occur later on in life. This holds some truth in my opinion, and must be examined carefully to make sure and read between all the lines. Let us not neglect important detail and variables.

     Femininity and masculinity are topics that have been debated over in our society extensively, through psychological research and day to day interaction with people. Children learn from their parents as well as society the concept of “feminine” and “masculine.” The majority of people tend to believe that these conceptions are biological but I believe it is more cultural. From birth, female children are shaped by society as being sweet, caring, loving, and delicate and usually associated with the color pink. While male children are shaped by being tough, aggressive, and competitive and associated with the color blue. As these children grow, the boy is given a football to play with and the girl a

Children learn as early as age two what it means to be a “boy” or a “girl” (Aina & Cameron). This is described as gender identity, a person’s sense of self as male or female. Gender stereotyping emerges hand in hand with the development of gender identity in Early Childhood (Halim). Gender roles are society’s expectations of the proper behavior, attitudes and activities of males and females. When babies are born they are either put in pink or blue, as they grow up they still maintain the same “gender” colors. As young children start to socialize, they are playing with either “girl” toys or “boy” toys. When they get older they

Today when a human baby is born the first question that is asked is '' Is it a boy or a girl?'' In human culture the answer to this question is gigantically significant. This definition of ''femaleness'' or ''maleness'' is the hypothesis of the society which assumes that the child who is born a girl will remain female forever, while a boy will be a male. Gender roles are created by society and vary from society to society as it takes all sorts to make a world. It does not matter where ever you are in the world its just ''society'' which assigns the gender roles without even having enough knowledge about one's gender identity. We living in 21st century but when it comes to gender role orientation we are in total chaos.

This is called gender socialization, which exaggerates sexual differences physically, experimentally, academically, and psychologically. Most parents are unaware that they play such a large role in creating a male or female child. But they are the first and one of the largest influences on their child. When parents have a female child she is viewed as sweet and gentle. The parents will even hold their daughter closer than they would a son. As they grow older boys are encouraged to explore while girls are kept closer to their parents. They are taught different approaches to many different problems in life. They may not realize it but through their interactions with their children they are encouraging their children to grow into a certain type of person based on their gender. The toys they are introduced to are even gender-based. Toys for males encourage them to develop such abilities of spatial perception, creativity, competition, aggression, and constructiveness. Toys for girls encouraged creativity, nurturance, and attractiveness. Children’s rooms and clothing are specific color: girls are pink and boys are blue. Girls often wear dresses and skirts that limit their physical activity. These types of influences at such an early age lay a foundation for the child’s personality. By the time they reach school age they already have a sense of being male or female. In school peers and teachers enforce these differences even further. (Lips, 1979,