Analysis Of The Book ' Love With A Jerk ' Through Relational Communication Lens

1975 Words8 Pages
Viktorija Vasiljeva
RELC 340
Adriane Stoner
May 3, 2015

Analysis of How To Avoid Falling In Love With A Jerk
Through A Relational Communication Lens

Written by John Van Epp, Ph. D., the self-help manual How To Avoid Falling In Love With A Jerk, offers the “foolproof way to follow your heart without loosing your mind”. This book is unique compared to the numerous dating books out there, which were written by authors without any legitimacy to their words of advice. Van Epp reveals years of research on marital and premarital happiness that he claims will help people to break the destructive dating patterns that prevent them from finding the “love you deserve”.
The 300+ page self-help book offers a lot of information and what was a
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The core contents include: RAM model, the dynamic of getting to know someone and building/maintaining relationships.
The book is structured around the Relationship Attachment Model, which was created by the author 20 years ago. It “portrays the different forces that create bonds in relationship” and it consists of “five fundamental dynamics, which are the depth to which you know, trust, rely on, have a commitment to and have sexual involvement with” (22). Each of these dynamics provides a unique contribution to the development of a relationship. According to the author, the key of building relationships (by using RAM) is to “keep a balance among the five relationship dynamics”. Whenever the dynamics shift, a person might experiences the feelings of being “unsafe in a relationship, hurt, mistrust and confusion” (24). This model was clearly based on some of the core relational communication theories such as Uncertainty Reduction (URT) and Social Penetration (SPT), as well as it follows Knapp’s staircase model in advising at how one should progress on the staircase and implications of going too fast. Charles Berger and Richard Calabrese conceptualized URT in 1975 and it is geared toward understanding the very beginning stages of a relationship; people want to predict and explain what goes on in their initial interactions with strangers (Galvin, 2011, p.34). Van Epp’s first dynamic
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