Analysis Of The Video Lecture By Deborah Tannen

Deborah Tannen’s case study entitled “Can’t We Talk?” is the most relevant reading that I have ever done for any class. It relates to a problem that every person regardless of age, race or sex, will have to face many times in his or her lifetime. The problem is that men and women communicate differently and these differences can often lead to conflict. This case study is very informative because it helps to clarify the thought process of each sex. That said this reading leaves the reader somewhat unfulfilled because Tannen does not offer a solution to the problem.

"Men tend to be sensitive to the power dynamics of interaction, speaking in ways that position themselves as one up and resisting being put in a one-down position by others. Women tend to react more strongly to the rapport dynamic, speaking in ways that save face for others and buffering statements that could be seen as putting others in a one-down position."(Tannen 2001: 246). This means that women are more likely to down grade their ability and not want to seem as

Our gender has an effect on every aspect of our lives, varying from how we view ourselves and other people to how we interact in social and civic life. It also impacts the way we set our goals in opportunity areas such as education, work, and recreation. Gender socialization starts at birth then manifests through family, education, peer groups, and mass media. Gender norms are automatically placed on us, where women should learn how to be nurturing, sensitive, emotional, passive, and always hold a man’s position higher than hers. On the other hand men should be overly confident, aggressive, dominant, and view women beneath them. This paper uses various readings to show how these gender norms are supported and challenged in today’s society.

She found that at every age, girls and women faced each other directly. On the other side of things, she noticed that at every age, boys and men sat at angles to each other and looked elsewhere in the room. Tannen demonstrates this when she gives the example of a woman in college who was frustrated because every time she would try and talk to her boyfriend he would lay down and put his arm over his face. This signaled that he was taking a nap, but he insisted that it was the only way he could listen without being distracted. Tannen follows by saying, “I believe these systematic differences in childhood socialization make talk between men and women like cross-cultural communication, heir to all the attraction and pitfalls of that enticing but difficult enterprise”. She backs her claim by discussing a research she discovered in an issue of American Psychologist. The research revealed that children’s development is most influenced by the social structure of peer interactions. The research later showed boys and girls tend to play with children of their own gender, and their sex-separate groups have different organizational structures and interactive

Deborah Tannen’s essay “But What Do You Mean?” focuses on what she claims are differences between men and women when it comes to social interaction. The essay is sectioned into seven categories, in which she talks about how men and women tend to think and react when it comes to apologizing, criticizing, thanking, fighting, praising, complaining, and joking with others. In general, she seems to promote the idea that women tend to be more polite and refined, considering the feelings of others when conversing and taking everything as a formality. In contrast, men are apparently more blunt, taking a more direct approach with matters and being more unconcerned with how they may affect others. Women tend to automatically apologize and thank others

The article traces the origins of this phenomenon to childhood, where young boys and young girls tend to play exclusively within their own gender. Children's development is most influenced by the social structure of peer interactions. The differences in childhood socialization result in a lack of understanding of the communication styles of the sexes. Boys and girls bond differently.

In her essay, "But What Do You Mean?" Deborah Tannen discusses how men and women 's conversation styles differ in how they communicate with one another. The problem is that men and women have different perspectives. Tannen explains that the "conversation rituals" among women are designed to be polite and sensitive to others, while the "conversation rituals" among men are designed to maintain superiority (328). Tannen explores seven ways in which men and women miscommunicate : apologies, criticism, thank-yous, fighting, praise, complaints, and jokes. Being no fault of either party, conversation strategies between men and women are just naturally different, these miscommunications can make conversation awkward and sometimes can be misunderstood.

In the essay, “But What Do You Mean?” author and linguistic expert Deborah Tannen argues her feelings on how men and women vary in their use of conversational “rituals.” She states that males have a tendency to use wording to sustain dominance in conversation; however, women seem to take in to account the feelings of others. Tannen identifies seven categories in which men and women differ in communication. First, women use apologies to assure other people. Men can misapprehend these apologies as taking blame rather than as the ritual reassurance that women mean for it to be perceived. This supports what Tannen says in her essay, “But there are times when ‘I’m sorry’ isn’t self-deprecating or even an apology” (Tannen 380). Second, men are more straight-forward when criticizing more than women; women “soften” their criticism with the purpose of sparing the feelings of the person they are criticizing. Third, women often say “thank you” ritualistically, most of the time to equate the two in the conversation. Fourth, men enjoy “verbally sparring” more than women. Because of this difference, women are under the impression that they are usually condemned in a conversation. Fifth, women and men use praise differently. Women tend to expect praise open-heartedly when they are praised. Men, on the other hand, often confuse that not criticizing is praise enough. Sixth, women converse their complications in order to share their experiences; they complain not to solve their

Once a child is born, he or she learns to view the world based on the behaviors of others. The child’s primary caregivers, usually the parents, and others present in the child’s environment, such as siblings, peers, teachers, and even the media, contribute to the development of the child’s perception of himself, those around him, and society overall. This concept is called socialization. “The way we are, behave and think is the final product of socialization” and it is through socialization that we “learn what is appropriate and improper for both genders” (Crespi, 2004). This concept of gender socialization leads to the inescapable

When men and boys are trying to show no emotion and appear dominant to their peers, nobody wins. Men are taught this from a young age, to grow up and be a “Man”. Which in society's terms means to have anger issues, treat women as an inferior, and to be over controlling of everything. That kind of toxic masculinity is a reason for many troubles in a multitude of peoples lives. “Little boys and Little girls start off emotionally equal...both boys and girls are like a stereotypical girl.” Society influences the way our boys behave. All though some boys may still behave this way; as a result of them just having a personality

Communication between males and females has always been somewhat complicated. Because we are arguing that males and females have different cultures we wanted to take a look at what some of these differences might be. According to our research the inherent differences between male and female culture are the different roles that society holds for them and the ways these roles lead to different communication styles. The stereotypes that men and women grow up with affect the types of ways in which they communicate. We first wanted to take a look at how they specifically differ while men and women are arguing or having normal conversations. We also looked at the different types of networks that men and women

The way society is taught to be socialized is salient and goes unnoticed, therefore it is valid to claim that gender is socially constructed through our everyday practices, whether we are aware of the construction or not. With socialization beginning the instant a child is born, the process is continuous through out adolescence and varies dramatically across the two genders. With guidance from institutions and arenas such as education, sports, music and the mass media gender seems to be coerced, as it comes with a scripted set of behaviors and attitudes. This essay argues that gender is socially constructed on an everyday basis. To further explain this thesis the essay will draw on early childhood socialization of masculinity and femininity,

Men are to be the fixer and women to be the nurturing one. How one expresses themselves can be totally up to their surroundings. As girls, stereotypically, were raised to use Barbie’s and play with kitchen toys. But perhaps by having by having many male siblings, their preference in toys can also include cars and trucks, in addition another stereotype. Parenting plays a large role in how children grow and either stay the same or question their role. It is a never-ending cycle called The Cycle of Socialization (Adams, Bell & Griffin, 1997). We are first born with no questions or assumptions about anything. Then we are exposed to institutions that shape the way we see things, such as churches, schools, and television. In final, it is how we react to these findings, it is up to us if we want to change or promote the status

In the history of mankind, different forms of communication systems were developed for people to connect with each other. Language, in particular, is the most common communication system invented predominantly by males. However, language is much more than a communication system. Language is a representational system that “uses graphics, signs, organized into languages of different kinds, to communicate meaningfully with others.”(Hall 18) Language not only serves as the bond that connects us together but also plays a crucial role in everyone’s life as we use it to exchange ideas, knowledge, and emotions. It is also the primary means of constructing and maintaining a society. Yet the so-called language that we take so much pride in possesses a connotation for our genders that is clearly sexist in a way that we trivialize women and rendering them invisible. Discrimination against women exists and can be easily observed in language.

Every race, culture, civilization, and society on this planet shares two basic things in common: the presence of two genders, and the need to communicate between these two. The recent decades, media research has devoted a lot of time and attention to the communicational differences between male and female. Several studies note that both genders communicate differently. First, a definition of the words communication and gender.