Analysis Of Wolterstorff's Lament For A Son

The Death of Ivan Illych brings an excellent in-depth description of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’s 5 cycles of grief theory. In the book, it shows how Ivan Illych goes through these cycles in their own individual way. The cycles that Kubler-Ross uses in her theory are: denial, anger, depression, bargaining, and acceptance. To get a better understanding of these cycles, this paper will describe each cycle and provide quotations that will help develop an idea of how someone going through these cycles may react.

The book, Lament For a Son, written by Nicholas Wolterstorff talks about his pain and grief after losing his 25-year-old son (Joy, 2009). His son died while on a mountain-climbing expedition. Dr. Wolterstorff has several books published during his career as a philosophical theology professor in Yale Divinity. However, he wrote Lament for a Son with a different journal style since it is a personal thing for him. The book is similar to a journal as he narrates the events that happened before and after his son’s death. The emotions expressed in the book are common among people who lose close relatives. What matters is how a person handles the issue. Kubler-Ross invented the five stages of grief; denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptancethat explain the escalation of grief when stricken by bad news (Axelrod, 2004). The paper looks into the book and its relation to the five stages of grief.

Kubler-Ross, E and Kessler, D (2005). On Grief and Grieving, London: Simon & Schuster. p7-28.

Write a 750-1,000 word paper analyzing Woterstorff’s reflctions in Lament For a Son. In addition, address Kubler-Ross’ five stages of grief, as they are expressed throughout Lament for a Son, and respond to the following questions:

Wolterstorff. He noted death as a constant battle between lamenting and faith (Wolterstorff, 1987). At times he wondered why God allowed his suffering to persist. This made Mr. Wolterstorff feel as though God had forgotten about him. However, through realizing that faith endures, understood that the only way to gain strength was through God. By the means of God, Mr. Wolterstorff regained a sense of joy in life. Not only through finding peace with the death of his son but also by furthering his personal relationship with God. He noticed that during times of death, God suffers alongside him. God did not enjoy the death of Eric anymore than Mr. Wolterstorff does. He felt joy in knowing that God could relate to the loss of a son as God lost his only son when Jesus Christ died upon the

Whether it is over the death of a loved one or a very emotional situation, grief is inevitable. Most individuals experience a form of grief at some point in their lifetime. Coping with a distressing situation can be a very difficult task and there are many arguments as to whether there is a set and correct method on how to deal with grief or not. Many people have created a grieving process that includes going through certain stages in order. However, this proposed grieving method is no more than a false theory. Due to the fact that every single person grieves differently, there is no way to possibly set a specific way to grieve. “A Raisin in The Sun,” by Lorraine Hansberry and “Hamlet, Prince of Denmark,” by William Shakespeare both

As presented by Kubler-Ross, the process of experiencing and dealing with loss can be described step-by-step in five stages. The first stage is denial, which Kubler-Ross interpreted to be synonymous to "disbelief" to the grieving individual. At this stage, the individual is in a state of shock that understanding and making sense of the reality that a loved one is already gone is yet to be fathomed by the individual. At this point, the individual is

When a loved when is gone it feels like a hole in the world. With much grief he says, “Never again will anyone inhabit the world the way he did. Questions I have can never now get answers. The world is emptier. My son is gone. Only a hole remains, Avoid, a gap, never to be filled”(33). This phrase describes his emotions and how he views the world without his son. The author gives advice on what to say to someone who is mourning. He says to never say its Ok because its never okay and death is awful. “ What I need to hear from you is that you recognize how painful it is. I need to hear from you that you are with me in my desperation” (34). When some passes away no one really knows what his or her loved ones are feeling because each death is unique and each person is different. The wisest of words don’t even make the pain go away, and all that can be done is lending an ear to listen, a shoulder to lean on.

The five stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance (Axelrod, 2017). She stated that

Since the start of time, and the preceding generations, death has impacted people and the way they act. A sudden, or even an expected death of a loved one, takes a toll on a person. It’s human nature for people to process and want to make sense of death and the loss it leaves behind. The five stages of grief reflect this process of dealing with the loss of a loved one. Through these stage of grieving, people can get lost either searching for answers or trying to get past it. In Hamlet, William Shakespeare depicts the role human nature plays in the striving for answers and justice surrounding death. Even though Hamlet was written early in the seventeenth century, the depiction of death and human nature still rings true today; people and

The stages of mourning and grief are universal and are experienced by people from all walks of life. Mourning occurs in response to an individual’s own terminal illness or to the death of a valued being, human or animal. There are five stages of normal grief that were first proposed by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book “On Death and Dying.”

Over the years, however, these have been linked to other forms of loss, such as the loss of friendships or relationships or the loss of a limb (Help guide, 2016). The stages are seen as a tool to help us frame and identify what we may be feeling as a result of various losses in our lives (Smith, J, 2011). However not everyone will go through each stage or in any set order (Patricelli, K, 2016). Denial is the first stage of Kubler Ross’s stages of grief and is the phase where a person is in a state of shock and finds it hard to accept that the loss has taken place (Patricelli, K, 2016). They may feel as though they are having a bad dream, and they will wake up expecting that the loss hasn’t occurred and that things will be back to normal (Smith, J, 2011). After an individual has passed through the denial stage they may begin to have feelings of anger, abandonment and unfairness (Patricelli, K, 2016). They may start to think, “I hate her for doing that,” or “I hate him for dying!” and direct anger outward by blaming the doctors, family, friends or God, or turn the anger inwards blaming themselves for what has happened (Smith, J, 2011). Next comes Bargaining which is when an individual begs for the loss to be undone and promises of better behaviour or significant life changes which will be made in exchange for the reversal of the loss (Patricelli, K, 2016). “What if I devote the rest of my life to helping others? Then can I wake up and realize this has all been a bad dream?” (Help guide, 2016). Once an individual realises that Anger and Bargaining are not going to reverse the loss, they may then fall into a Depression stage (Patricelli, K, 2016). During this period, grieving people may become upset, start to feel empty, experience sleep or eating habit changes, or withdraw from other

Theorists like Lindemann claim that there are five phases that are normal to go through in grieving: somatic disturbance, preoccupation with the deceased, guilt, hostility or anger, and difficulty with everyday tasks. Kubler-Ross identified the commonly recognized and accepted stages of grief

The theme of parental mourning has been a universal one throughout the centuries. In the literature on bereavement, writers repeat certain themes, thoughts, and reflections; they talk of the powerful and often conflicting emotions involved in "the pain of grief and the

Grief is a process that one faces when they lose a close person to death. This process of grief is a difficult process for a person to go through and it entails different stages that a person experiences as he or she accepts the reality of death. In the novel, Lament of a Son, the narrator, Wolterstorff reflects upon how he dealt with the unexpected loss of his son. The reflections provided in this novel depict the grief cycle a person experiences as he mourns the loss of a loved one. It is through this grief cycle and his faith Wolterstorff comes to term with his son’s death and finds hope and joy once again.