Analysis: The Stepchild Of Self-Forgiveness Research

As I was reading the chapter on forgiveness in Psychology, Theology, and Spirituality in Christian Counseling by McMinn (2011), the personal life experience that jumped out to me was when I had to make the decision to truly forgive my ex-boyfriend and his parents for the emotional pain they caused me. After living in New Jersey for a month and spending time with my boyfriend and his family, working, and taking care of an elderly lady with dementia my world came crashing down on me. My ex-boyfriend’s parents discovered sin in his life and told me I could no longer pursue a relationship with him because of the sins he had committed. After finding out the sinful things my ex-boyfriend had done, I chose to forgive him. I also chose to give him a second chance at a relationship with me, but my effort to salvage our relationship was futile.

The journal article – “The Effects of Forgiveness Therapy on Depression, Anxiety and Posttraumatic Stress for Women after Spousal Emotional Abuse” by Gayle L. Reed and Robert D. Enright is a research study to determine what effects forgiveness therapy has on emotionally abused women who continue to experience negative psychological outcomes long after the abusive relationship has ended.

To demonstrate how forgiveness can make things worse, David Bedrick who is a speaker, counselor, attorney, and teacher at the University of Phoenix talks about how many people believe that forgiving can heal you but David states, “We are dwelling on the past, focusing on negative emotions, holding onto grudges, filled with retribution and revenge, addicted to adrenaline, marrying our victimhood, recoiling in self-protection rather than mercy, or poisoning ourselves with non-forgiveness.” David believes this because to him this can make you think of plotting against the person who wronged, holding onto the feelings from grudges that can affect your daily lives, which as an result makes your body to not forgive anyone who does something to you. While to some people this is the case, David’s argument is wrong because forgiveness is the remedy that cleanses your body of all of the evil motives inside of you and shapes you into the person that you were supposed to be. He doesn’t understand that condoning is the best thing you can do for not only yourself, not for others but for your own well-being, and as a result it causes you to wake up and go through your day without an single burden still kept inside of you. To support my rebuttal Cathy Taughinbaugh who is a personal coach for parents who are trying to help their child over substance

“Forgiveness, assert Fincham and his colleagues, can help restore more benevolent and cooperative goals to relationships” Everett L. Worthington, Jr.(2004). New Science of Forgiveness.

Life, as we all know is saturated with misfortune. Most of us are able to go through these and learn from and exempt ourselves. Yet, this isn’t always the case. People are faced with bone riveting experiences that often take a long time to get over, if they ever do get over it. These episodes brew in our brain popping up at the most random points often bringing our tone down. Although these experiences may scare us and fill us with ruefulness and penitence, we can’t continue to live in the past and let these regrets habituate us. Self forgiveness is a remedy to healing and to moving on in life, no matter how hard it is.

The purpose of this paper is to examine current research on forgiveness, by conducting a Meta-Analysis multiple studies on forgiveness. By conducting Meta-Analysis a latest research, will provide guidance for the configuration and expansion for future research on forgiveness.

Forgiveness is significant to a client because it helps to get relief psychologically, emotionally, and spiritually. "Before getting into forgiveness in counseling, there are concepts that are related to it and should be analyzed (McMinn, 1996)". Forgiveness is viewed in three perspectives which include opposition, technique, or an obligation. These perspectives included in counseling are a healthy method for forgiving.

In the last 15 years, Everett has thoroughly studied how forgiveness and justice collaborate. His interest in this topic peaked after his mother was murdered which at the time was very devastating for him, as can be to anyone. Over time, Everett forgave the person who murdered his mother. Everett fiercely believes the art of forgiveness was passed to them through their mother. Everett had a brother which committed suicide as a result of the agony he dealt with in his mother’s passing. After the commitment of his brother’s suicide, he felt great self-blame and has since studied self-forgiveness

Hebl and Enright (1993) conducted a study on elderly females who had suffered from various injusticies such as spousal conflict and overmedication to show forgiveness can be induced and with therapeutic goals. Further findings come from Coyle and Enright (1997) who used a forgiveness intervention on males who had been hurt by a partners abortion who found forgiveness lead to reductions in anger, anxiety and grief, therefore forgiving does have a positive effect on mental health. A second study by Al-Mabuk, Enright and Cardis (1995) on students who had been love deprived. In an experimental group where the students went through seventeen steps of the process model had decreased anxiety and improved their attitude towards their mother/father

interventions that are being utilized are effective when it comes to forgiveness. In the early case

The article "Self-forgiveness: The forgotten stepchild of forgiveness research" is a qualitative rather than a quantitative study of the phenomenon of self-forgiveness. The authors distinguish self-forgiveness versus forgiveness of an 'other' in an outwardly-directed fashion. They state that self-forgiveness has been under-studied in the existing literature. The beginning of the article is devoted to a literature review of existing writings upon the subject, with using a working definition of self forgiveness "as a set of motivational changes whereby one becomes decreasingly motivated to avoid stimuli associated with the offense, decreasingly motivated to retaliate against the self 地nd increasingly motivated to act benevolently toward the self" (Hall & Fincham 2005: 622).

Many women have suffered deeply from acts such as the betrayal of a friend or spouse or various forms of abuse in and spent many years of life experiencing the repeated trauma without finding forgiveness (Smedes, 1996). Without the discovery of healing and forgiveness, each of these hurtful actions experienced has the ability to deprive one of the precious joy and blessings of life.

The article discusses how not choosing to forgive can hinder people from fully recovering. Brief therapy says that it is natural and okay for a person to feel anger toward an abuser but instead of teaching the benefits of forgiveness and letting go of the resentment, brief therapy does not allow the opportunity for reflection and understanding of what happened and why it may have happened. It does not allow the opportunity to find meaning in the suffering of the abuse, and when we can’t find meaning in something we can’t accept it and move on. Brief therapy causes people to dwell more on their anger, making it almost impossible to improve the negative outcomes of the abuse.

The forgiveness intervention assisted older adults by exploring this topic, maybe for the first time (Ingersoll-Dayton, Campbell, & Ha, 2009). The process itself took place over a period of time. Forgiveness is not necessarily something that can be processed overnight. The time allotted for these sessions provided the group members with several weeks to explore the topic. The sessions involved a group facilitator and group members. The group facilitator was a trained professional who was knowledgeable about the therapeutic aspects of this type of group. Having other group members to share this experience with facilitated the experience of not being alone. Writing was also part of the process. The journal was a tool that allowed them to voice their experiences. As an assignment this provided the participants with the opportunity to continue their exploration of forgiveness beyond the group experience. The environment provided a safe place for the group members to explore painful memories. All of these factors contributed to helping this population explore forgiveness. The participants reported that this experience was helpful in that only one topic was explored, the nonjudgmental acceptance of the group and facilitator, and the journal questions.

In general, self-forgiveness is identified by a common ability to exhibit self-respect in spite of the acceptance of wrong-doing (Hall, J., Fincham, D., 2005). I never considered the distinction between interpersonal forgiveness and intrapersonal forgiveness. While they share many similarities, there is even greater evidence of the differences between the two. One significant difference involves the consequences of withholding forgiveness from self. It is likely that intrapersonal unforgiveness can be much more detrimental than interpersonal. Hall & Fincham state “ Self-forgiveness often entails a resolution to change” (2005). It is this process of acceptance of one’s own imperfections and sinful nature that catapults a desire for self-improvement and growth. This is a critical component of healing the soul and beginning the journey to spiritual and mental health. Also enlightening was the declaration that one can experience pseudo self forgiveness by failing to acknowledge any wrong doing and convincing him/herself that they are without fault. Finally, I was struck by the notion that self-forgiveness will typically