Analysis of You Just Don't Understand, Men and Women in Conversation by Deborah Tannen

Deborah Tannen’s case study entitled “Can’t We Talk?” is the most relevant reading that I have ever done for any class. It relates to a problem that every person regardless of age, race or sex, will have to face many times in his or her lifetime. The problem is that men and women communicate differently and these differences can often lead to conflict. This case study is very informative because it helps to clarify the thought process of each sex. That said this reading leaves the reader somewhat unfulfilled because Tannen does not offer a solution to the problem.

I remember once I told my husband I was sick of him telling me what to do. Automatically he responded by telling all the things I don’t do. We eventually began to attack each other and began to bring up other things about each other that bother us. It was an extremely frustrating experience. While reading I began to think, “I’m going about this whole communicating and listening thing all wrong”. I began to think how things would have went differently if I would have been educated on the proper ways to express my feelings and listen to his. It was strange but I felt a small feeling of guilt (my stomach speaking of course). I was very anxious to share my new found wisdom with my husband, but decided to wait and maybe lead by example.

The article You’re not listening by Steph Cook, the author discuss about the intuition has the ability to improve your life. The author want the readers to know that intuition can help people to overcome different troubles. He describe the people in article commit many mistakes because they fail to listen to their inner voice. I believe lying to yourself is a bad idea because it cause a lot of stress to yourself. The article also about what we should or should not do, and people always need to be honest to themselves.

He knew that it was very kind of dear old Linda to invite him over for tea every single time she came across him, even during delivery time, but he had simply gotten bored of listening to her gossip about everyone, even poor Mary Jane who never came out of her house since the Great Alien Incident from 2000. Usually if she invited him in, he politely refused with the excuse that his boss would take away the little pay he got even if he was a second late. Today, he had to deliver a special magazine Linda ordered and he couldn't just leave it in on her porch (it was the first issue of the magazine and his boss wanted to make sure the Linda received her copy). So he had knocked on the door, and to his luck she opened the door took her package and closed the door. Jeff guessed that his luck must be finally looking

On the one hand, Tannen’s logic maybe problematic, as she assumes that communication is the heart of the greatest marital problems. Even though this was in written in 1990 many aspect of marital problems have risen, into many different problems. For instance, marriage does not always end due to the lack of communication, anything

Consequently, that is how people of different sexes can get into alterations of anger or not talking to one another. She may say something and mean it completely one way and he will take it another way. Nonetheless, learning how to talk to one another is key to a relationship. In the articles, Tannen and Gray have many things that are the same and for them to learn how to talk to one another would make things between men and women so much better.

In regards to Mary Ann’s and her partner’s communication style, Mahaffey and Wubbolding (2016) disclose how reality therapy has been helpful for couples who are having difficulties with communication. By attending marriage counseling and using this technique within the sessions, it can help Mary Ann gain a better understanding as to why she needs to make more income to help provide for a family. Finally, this method can also help create a stronger bond between Mary Ann and her partner.

When men’s tolerance to a stressful situation is surpassed, they temporarily withdraw to “their cave” to distance themselves from the problem at hand allowing them to relax and come back to the problem later with a new perspective. Women on the other hand find retreating to this “cave” very difficult. Most women’s natural reaction is to talk the problem out with someone close to them to work through the issue at hand. These difference can cause a lot of issues if there is no communication as to how each partner deals with stress. When there is an issue or stress in the relationship, men instinctively retreat while the woman tries to grow closer causing a major conflict. These issues can be solved if proper communication as well as listening is used to help the other partner understand their differences. Now that we have discussed the main points of the text and connected it to horizontal communication and listening described in the textbook, let’s discuss how you can apply it to your

In the essay “Sex, Lies and Conversation: Why Is It So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other?” by Deborah Tannen, she is comparing the way men and women listen, communicate, and get along together. Tannen states that “successful cross-cultural communication should begin at home (118).”Instead of women fighting over giving up their lives, or having to uproot their living arrangements for their husband’s job, or having to deal with the daily life of cleaning, cooking, and doing things around the house, they are mostly arguing and fighting over why they are not communicating with their husbands. Men and women both have completely different views of communicating with each other. Deborah Tannen’s view of men and women is interesting and convincing of the way men and women communicate with each other, and learning how to fix their problems about communicating, the way both partners like to be talked, and listened to.

While I read “Can’t we Talk” by Tannem, I could not help but to reflect on my past experiences. I agree with what was written, men and women do communicate and hear things differently. I believe this is the cause of the issues in any relationship. Our interpretation of something may be opposite of what was intended. I understand how people take things wrong and then feel negatively by taking what was said out of context. When we misunderstand something, we need to question it or say how we feel, not trying to clear the air when something bothers you only festers negative feelings. The way one word is spoken and understood changes the intension of what was intended. The examples of the couples are spot on for what happens in communication.

I am persuaded that ladies are critical for our (group of individuals/every great people on the planet), in light of the fact that I trust all people are nevertheless. (male/female status) is just about the way we look. Every one of the general population have the same rights and every one of the general population can take in the same abilities or do likewise things et cetera. There is no prevalent or second rate individual. We are all the same, so to consider that ladies are not in the same class as men is off-base. We are all people, so we all have the same part in the (group of individuals/every single great people on the planet) and it's dependent upon us to carry out our occupation. Ladies can't be second rate on the grounds that they're not men. They can do whatever a man can do. On the off chance that they can control their activities, much the same as men, then they can act the same as them.

In a relationship, there are many factors that affect the healthiness between the two people. All of these characteristics are related to having respect and good communication between the two individuals. Having these vital elements allow for the confrontation of issues that occur between couples. For instance, it is necessary for a couple to have a conversation on how they feel about modern gender roles. In contemporary society, men and women no longer strictly abide to the traditional gender roles seen throughout America's history. Under these historical circumstances, men would typically go to work, while women stayed at home to take care of the household and the children. Nowadays, there are statistics that show men and women still do

Sex, Lies, and Conversation substantially proves that males and females do naturally conversate differently through main topics like when wemon who complain that their husbands don’t talk to them at home, habitual stages depict how male and females communicate at a young age through peer interactions, and also covers analytical research explaining why married couples typically act differently given certain environments. It would seem that if males in a relationship just need to be more open about their daily news to where the female would be happy to recognize that their husbands are trying to adapt to wemons small talk as normal communication rather than seeing it as being challenged to show ones intelligence. From what it seems, males and females definitely communicate in a total different fashion. This also seems to be a similar conflict in regards to ethnic conflicts where the world direly needs cross-cultural understanding. It seems that married couples should be able to communicate more fluently in their own home first versus in a public environment. After reading this article, one would then try to understand the other partner more thoroughly rather than making a rash resulting common decision of

That is my point exactly! If you don't talk to each other, you'll never know what's going on. You can't just assume that everything's fine, simply because you aren't fighting. There are many benefits to being able to have a good conversation with each other. One person may be having a bad day and need someone to talk it out with, or even just vent to; who better than their soul mate? Who would better understand the trials and tribulations you both face? Talking things out is the best way to work out any and all problems that couples face. As the brilliant William Shakespeare points out in "Sonnet 116": "…love is not love which alters when alteration finds… it is an ever-fixed mark that looks on tempests and is never shaken" (2-6). True love doesn't back down just because you've encountered a problem, true love can weather any storm. All you need to do is be able to work it out between you. But in order to do that, you need to be able to communicate with each other.

Actually, communication experts say that a good communication is more about the body language. With facial expressions, gestures or postures it’s possible to clearly send a message such as lack of interest, boredom, anger as well as happiness, attention etc. It’s obvious that good communication skills can help in business as well as in quotidian life. Dr. Gottman states that a good communication is quintessential for newlyweds. He claims that a bad communication is lethal to relationships and suggests that in order to improve the communication between the partners, it’s important to avoid negativity, criticism and closing gestures. Over 50% of the divorcee listed “lack of communication” as one of the main reasons that leads to divorce. It’s obvious that investing in good communication is a good choice when committing for life. Communication is a skill that has to be cultivated daily as good communication leads to a stable and solid relationship. A good communication includes listening (which is hearing while paying attention), keeping eye contact, showing interest and expressing ideas with no barriers or fears. Newlyweds instead tend to communicate badly or not at all. In fact they underestimate the power of paying attention to the conversation. When they communicate, they tend to be defensive, thinking that the partner is attacking them and they often use negative referring to their partners. Those that may look as naive mistakes in the