Arguments for and Against the Practice of Arranged Marriage

Arranged marriages have been a practice that has been around for a long time. It has been predominantly common in third world countries where the income gap is significantly obvious between the wealthy and the poor. By definition, arranged marriage is a marriage that is arranged by the parents of the man and woman getting married, instead of the man and woman choosing to date and marry each other. Shafer-Landau states that cultural relativism claims that the correct moral standards are relative to cultures, or societies, where as ethical subjectivism claims that the correct moral standards are those endorsed by each individual. The practice of arranged marriages and similar scenario of forced marriages alike are both controversial and up for discussion.

Marriage is described as two people as partners in a personal relationship. There are two typical ideas of marriage that we know today. The first one that comes to mind is the one we all know, based on love, but there is another one that some may not even know of and its arranged marriages. Arranged marriage is not typically in our culture we know but in different cultures arranged marriages are their normal marriage. Throughout this essay, I will discuss the importance of realizing cultural diversity and how we apply the perspectives we gain from cross-cultural comparison to our own experience using central concepts about marriage to compare and contrast marriage in several cultures.

Definition of culture is a wide range. Culture is language, art, food, cloth, lifestyle, and believe. I was born and lived in Japan 19 years. When I came to the United States, I was surprised how Japanese and American culture is different. Japan and America is different language, food and lifestyle. There is a Japanese culture that American culture should adapt for social benefit. That is arranged marriage. There were many countries that arranged marriage is popular around the world. However, recently, arranged marriage is no more popular because society, and people’s idea changed, and many people think arranged marriage is not respect their children. In Japan, arranged marriage is very popular since long time ago. A few decades ago, arranged marriage was forced marriage, and wealthy people do that for keeping family well-off. However, definition and style of arranged marriage changed recently. Arranged marriage is more like matchmaking. Parents do not force marriage anymore. They encourage to find good partner for daughter or son. “Arranged marriages in Japan are now in the minority because one reporter says that over 70% of Japanese marriage are based on love. The remaining 30 % are arranged.” (Arranged Marriages in Japan) From this date, Japanese still arranged marriage. Arranged marriage is beneficial American society because fast, low divorce rate, no trouble, and marriage with ideal person.

Be it resolved, arranged marriages do work for many, however arranged marriages is not a healthy way of life for the majority of young couples today. According to the oxford dictionary an arranged marriage is, “A marriage planned and agreed by the families and or guardians of the bride and groom who have little to no say in the matter themselves.” In my perspective arranged marriages can lead to different kinds of abuse weather it be physical or emotional, women becoming domestic slaves, and ultimately limits the happiness of the two “partners”.

Love is portrayed in society as a perfect bond between two people and that they live happily ever after but that is not always the case. In the story “Once upon a Time in a Tent” written by Tim Neville talks about his time living in a tent in his backyard and his journey through his three relationships. In the story “The Arranged Marriage” written by Mira Jacob she talks about how her parents are in an arranged marriage and never showed any affection towards each other.

In the book, Arranged Marriage, by Chitra Divakaruni there are multiple stories that demonstrate arranged marriages from within the Indian culture. In some cases, arranged marriages work out better than others. However, in the short stories in her book, most don’t work out positively. In the short stories, “The Bats” and “The Disappearance”, the arranged marriages don’t work out. Chitra Divakaruni’s viewpoint on arranged marriages is clearly negative, due to violence, and the effect on children.

Throughout time arranged marriages were the norm in several societies. In the comedy, A Midsummer Night’s Dream by William Shakespeare, Hermia is in love with Lysander, but her father wants her to marry Demetrius. She escapes into the woods with Lysander. Just like Hermia, many people around the world are forced to marry someone that their parents choose for them. Love marriage vs. Arranged marriage is always a debated topic. While there are instances of love marriages working out, there are arranged marriages which are successful too. Both have their pros and cons. And it is just the world around us which makes us support or be against a love marriage. Arranged marriages are based on the understanding of two families. The parents of the bride or groom get to pick their future partner. On the other hand, love marriages are more of an independent choice between the bride and groom. Giving them the freedom to marry someone they know and admire. There are different customs and traditions that are followed in different societal set-ups. Arrange marriages lack love and respect between husband and wife. Arranged marriages are a social injustice. They deprive individuals of their choice. Marriage is a commitment of two people who have made a vow to love each other till death. In the essay I will be debating the pro’s and con’s of arranged and love marriages.

Western society today has evolved to romanticise the idea of love, and along with it, the idea of a marriage based upon love. This has therefore pushed a negative stigma onto the concept of arranged marriages. A classic example of literature that pits these two clashing ideas against each other is William Shakespeare’s ‘Romeo and Juliet’. Even today, many debate over the two, love or arranged marriages. Arranged marriages have been an international phenomenon for centuries, specifically in the continent of Asia.

The author begins with the basics of marriages in India, explaining that arranged marriages are so common that marriages not setup have a special term. She goes on to speak of how the couples set to wed usually do not meet before the ceremony and that if they do, it is for only a momentary conversation after the decisions have been made. However, she points out, that if one person objects to the match that the parents agreed to, they do not have to wed.

One of my sources titled, Confluence of Influence: Indian-American Youths’ Perception, Negotiation, and Transformation of Arranged Marriage Traditions in Modern American Society, written by Dianne Laura Fabii, talked about the opinions of second-generation Indian-American youth on arranged marriages (show visual). Their parents, grandparents, and past generations all had one, but since they are growing up in the United States, a western country where individualism and freedom are highly valued, they decided that the tradition will not apply to their futures (Fabii, 2017). In addition, I came upon an article which was a real-life story rather than a collection of data. It was from National Public Radio written by Jamie Tarabay, titled, Arranged Marriage: Trapped Between Two Cultures. It focused on a 25-year-old female named Mediha Sandhu (show visual) who is dealing with her parents wanting her to move to Pakistan to have an arranged marriage, as opposed to her wanting to stay in New Jersey. The article dives deep into her story and explains her feeling trapped between two completely different cultures. Sandhu is afraid of losing her freedom and identity, and how she won’t be able to express herself the way she is doing currently, because she is being forced to move back to a country where women are seen as unimportant and simply useful for being a housewife (Tarabay,

Some cringe at the third world thought of arranged marriage. However, Ji Hyun Lee’s article in The New York Times titled, “Modern Lessons From Arranged Marriages”, begins to raise questions concerning how lessons from this culturally unique phenomenon may be able to aid in non-arranged marriages in the United States with the help of experts. Michael J. Rosenfeld, associate sociology professor at Stanford University claims, “I don’t think love marriage and arranged marriage are as different as we make them out to be.” He asserts that the concept of “love marriage” mimics the ancient art of pairing in “arranged marriages,” stating that individuals end up being partnered with another whom is similar to themselves in regards to race, religion, class background, and age. Senior Research Psychologist, Robert Epstein found that parental involvement is the key to a strong arranged marriage, as the parents screen for potential deal breakers in the couples’ relationship. Many in successful arranged marriages attribute the success of their union to their parents’ involvement. Dr. Epstein notes that in a nation such as the US, we celebrate independence and freedom of choice, which is likely the reason why so many view arranged marriages with such unwavering hesitation. Although he admits that the tradition of arranged marriages does not hold much hope in gaining acceptance today, he notes an undeniable fact: when 40-50% of all American marriages end in divorce, there is logic in

In modern culture and fully developed nations, the ideology of an arranged marriage is a foreign concept, but in reality the global percentage of arranged marriages is 60 (Toledo 1). Although the majority of these arranged marriages occur in Asian countries such as India and China, this type of matrimony should also be prominently implemented into the society of modernized nations like the United States. Before arranged marriages can completely fuse into industrialized cultures, one must fully understand the concept of an arranged marriage. As commonly thought, parents do not always select the marital partners in arranged marriages; spouses can also be chosen by a community, elders, matchmakers, or religious leaders ("Arranged...

In the eastern side of the world, arranged marriages are very common. It is not like the western world where couples date to know each other then choose whether they are the perfect match. Arranged marriages are often chosen by the elders in the family. This practice has been handed down for centuries. Throughout the marriage process, there are certain procedures that must be followed in eastern matchmaking. Once a match has been chosen, the couple will learn over time that commitment and acceptance comes prior to emotions and happiness. Even though our western ways may seem normal to us, the traditions of eastern marriages are custom through procedure, commitment and acceptance within their society.

The vast literature dedicated to the topic of arranged marriages sheds light on the transition of perception towards marriage in diverse societies across the globe. It also discusses the influence of the western culture on the rest of the world while at the same time highlighting the conflicts created due to that and how the younger generations are witnessing a change in mindset while tackling these.

Marriage is a union that has been around for as long as humans have walked the earth. The human race depends upon the union of its members, and as such, the subject of marriage has been an issue that receives more intense scrutiny and attention than many would likely believe. In today's day and age, with humanity continuing to move in a modern direction, many argue that marriage is a union that should be entered into freely and should be based exclusively on the love between two people. However, I argue that arranged marriage, which has taken place throughout the ages and throughout the world, is a union that offers its observers a marriage based in support, longevity and love, and is an institution that should not be frowned upon.