Arranged Marriage in India Essay

Arranged marriages have been a practice that has been around for a long time. It has been predominantly common in third world countries where the income gap is significantly obvious between the wealthy and the poor. By definition, arranged marriage is a marriage that is arranged by the parents of the man and woman getting married, instead of the man and woman choosing to date and marry each other. Shafer-Landau states that cultural relativism claims that the correct moral standards are relative to cultures, or societies, where as ethical subjectivism claims that the correct moral standards are those endorsed by each individual. The practice of arranged marriages and similar scenario of forced marriages alike are both controversial and up for discussion.

Arranged marriage is found in various cultures and countries around the world, including Afghanistan and other parts of the Middle East; having an arranged marriage is thought of as an Afghani tradition and has been a part of life for many families. The practice of arranged marriage has advantages and disadvantages; it can create more family power and give more financial security. Sadly being forced into a marriage can disrupt the independence of the engaged, most women stop their education when they become engaged resulting in many women being illiterate. This makes it impossible for them to be successful without depending on their husbands. Arranged marriage is found in many cultures throughout the modern world, though in a lot of cases it results in a happy family it can also be very limiting on women and often girls are married before they can give consent.

In our society, we wouldn’t consider arranged marriages as a normal thing we are, use to consensual heterosexual serial monogamy. But in some countries, they do consider arranged marriages normal. In India, arranged marriages have been apart of the Indian culture since the fourth century and many consider it a central fabric of Indian society (Arranged Marriages, Matchmakers, and Dowries in India, 2000). Pakistan also considers arranged marriages as normal in Pakistani culture elders of the family are considered wise and they are the ones who help pick out a spouse a family member (Arranged Marriages are the Part of Pakistani Culture, 2012). Japan still practices arranged marriage but now less than ten percent of marriages are arranged compared to half a century ago when about seventy percent were arranged(Tying the Knot, 1998). In China, they have marriage markets where parents line the pathways share with other parents their clippings they have on their child, hoping to find a good match for their child (Epatko, 2015). Still, today many countries consider arranged marriages normal.

Love is portrayed in society as a perfect bond between two people and that they live happily ever after but that is not always the case. In the story “Once upon a Time in a Tent” written by Tim Neville talks about his time living in a tent in his backyard and his journey through his three relationships. In the story “The Arranged Marriage” written by Mira Jacob she talks about how her parents are in an arranged marriage and never showed any affection towards each other.

In the book, Arranged Marriage, by Chitra Divakaruni there are multiple stories that demonstrate arranged marriages from within the Indian culture. In some cases, arranged marriages work out better than others. However, in the short stories in her book, most don’t work out positively. In the short stories, “The Bats” and “The Disappearance”, the arranged marriages don’t work out. Chitra Divakaruni’s viewpoint on arranged marriages is clearly negative, due to violence, and the effect on children.

Arranged marriages occur all over the world and in some parts it is popular or compulsory and in others not so admired. Most

One of my sources titled, Confluence of Influence: Indian-American Youths’ Perception, Negotiation, and Transformation of Arranged Marriage Traditions in Modern American Society, written by Dianne Laura Fabii, talked about the opinions of second-generation Indian-American youth on arranged marriages (show visual). Their parents, grandparents, and past generations all had one, but since they are growing up in the United States, a western country where individualism and freedom are highly valued, they decided that the tradition will not apply to their futures (Fabii, 2017). In addition, I came upon an article which was a real-life story rather than a collection of data. It was from National Public Radio written by Jamie Tarabay, titled, Arranged Marriage: Trapped Between Two Cultures. It focused on a 25-year-old female named Mediha Sandhu (show visual) who is dealing with her parents wanting her to move to Pakistan to have an arranged marriage, as opposed to her wanting to stay in New Jersey. The article dives deep into her story and explains her feeling trapped between two completely different cultures. Sandhu is afraid of losing her freedom and identity, and how she won’t be able to express herself the way she is doing currently, because she is being forced to move back to a country where women are seen as unimportant and simply useful for being a housewife (Tarabay,

Some cringe at the third world thought of arranged marriage. However, Ji Hyun Lee’s article in The New York Times titled, “Modern Lessons From Arranged Marriages”, begins to raise questions concerning how lessons from this culturally unique phenomenon may be able to aid in non-arranged marriages in the United States with the help of experts. Michael J. Rosenfeld, associate sociology professor at Stanford University claims, “I don’t think love marriage and arranged marriage are as different as we make them out to be.” He asserts that the concept of “love marriage” mimics the ancient art of pairing in “arranged marriages,” stating that individuals end up being partnered with another whom is similar to themselves in regards to race, religion, class background, and age. Senior Research Psychologist, Robert Epstein found that parental involvement is the key to a strong arranged marriage, as the parents screen for potential deal breakers in the couples’ relationship. Many in successful arranged marriages attribute the success of their union to their parents’ involvement. Dr. Epstein notes that in a nation such as the US, we celebrate independence and freedom of choice, which is likely the reason why so many view arranged marriages with such unwavering hesitation. Although he admits that the tradition of arranged marriages does not hold much hope in gaining acceptance today, he notes an undeniable fact: when 40-50% of all American marriages end in divorce, there is logic in

In Claudia Kolker’s book The Immigrant Advantage, she talks about the cultural tradition of arranged marriages brought by South Asian immigrants to the United States. Kolker agrues that arranged marriages are much more effective in finding a spouse than traditional marriages. Kolker believes that this tradition of assistive marriage should be adopted by Americans. Research and studies have shown that “women in arranged marriages rated the highest marital status” (Kolker, 71) compared to couples who have arranged marriages. Arranged marriage is great for individuals who are ready to settle down and start their own life without wasting any time finding a partner. Arranged marriage saves a great amount of time on dating people who are not compatible with your personality or beliefs. As Kolker states, assistive marriage does not just save time in finding a lifelong partner but, it also leads to exceptional happiness between the couple than a traditional marriage reported by couples during studies. Traditions brought by immigrants such as, assistive marriage should be considered by American traditions.

Both Jhumpa Lahiri's “Going Ashore” and Anita Jain's “Is Arranged Marriage Really Any Worse than Craigslist?” discuss the prospects of arranged marriage and the processes involved in it, Lahiri suggests that arranged marriage is the answer to an unstable life, Jain's story suggests that arranged marriage and it's processes is just as unstable as a typical love marriage.

In American culture the view on arranged marriages are not looked at very favorably. This is because we have grown up with the knowledge that when it comes time to marry we will have chosen our spouse of our own free will. The match will be a love match and one that is chosen through our own needs. Young men and women in India grow up with an opposite view on marriage. They know that when it comes time to marry their parents will find them a suitable mate and it will be considered scared and a lifelong commitment (Agence France-Presse.) A total of 74 percent of respondents from across India voted in favour of traditional "arranged" marriages, according to the poll by private television channel NDTV. In the Hindu faith, marriage is

Arranged marriages are an insult to the nature of marriage. Marriage occurs when two people have fallen in love and want to live the rest of life together. Each person chooses the other from the result of love. An arranged marriage has a different story. According to I Love Relationships, an internet article that gives relationship and marriage advice, an arranged marriage is described as a type of marriage where the parents decide for the bride or groom on who to marry and the one marrying has no say in the process. A love connection does not exist in this situation. Marriage is about a couple discovering a love for one another and creating a family based off of that love. “In many arranged marriage cases, the couple rarely knows each other before the marriage” (Arranged Marriages;

marriages that occur in India and the United States have several dramatic differences. Marriages in India are based solely on parental decisions, whereas in the United States a marriage is based on individualism. Who, why and how the spouse is chosen, is very different in both countries. Most Americans date to discover who their future spouse is going to be, and they know the person very well before marriage. In India, dating is not something that occurs. Most individuals in India do not have any interaction with the bride or groom prior to their wedding day, therefore, they do not personally know who they are marrying (Nanda 624). Though these differences exist, pros and cons reflect on each of them.

Marriage is a union that has been around for as long as humans have walked the earth. The human race depends upon the union of its members, and as such, the subject of marriage has been an issue that receives more intense scrutiny and attention than many would likely believe. In today's day and age, with humanity continuing to move in a modern direction, many argue that marriage is a union that should be entered into freely and should be based exclusively on the love between two people. However, I argue that arranged marriage, which has taken place throughout the ages and throughout the world, is a union that offers its observers a marriage based in support, longevity and love, and is an institution that should not be frowned upon.

Arranged marriages are set up by friends and family, and sometimes by a matchmaker that sets up the marriage. But the bride’s father has the most responsibility in arranging marriage for his daughter, and is the one who approaches the father of a potential bridegroom. Important aspects when considering a possible match are financial status, caste, and the bride and bridegrooms horoscopes matching. The role of astrology is important, and if a Hindu priest finds that the horoscopes of the potential spouses do not match, they will not marry, and must begin the search all over again (Livermore, 2009). India’s view of marriage first and then love is very different from the Western view where love comes before marriage, seems to be successful. The