Article Review: The Church as Forgiving Community: An Initial Model

As I was reading the chapter on forgiveness in Psychology, Theology, and Spirituality in Christian Counseling by McMinn (2011), the personal life experience that jumped out to me was when I had to make the decision to truly forgive my ex-boyfriend and his parents for the emotional pain they caused me. After living in New Jersey for a month and spending time with my boyfriend and his family, working, and taking care of an elderly lady with dementia my world came crashing down on me. My ex-boyfriend’s parents discovered sin in his life and told me I could no longer pursue a relationship with him because of the sins he had committed. After finding out the sinful things my ex-boyfriend had done, I chose to forgive him. I also chose to give him a second chance at a relationship with me, but my effort to salvage our relationship was futile.

This paper is a comprehensive evaluation of an article entitled “Forgiveness: A Perception and Motivation Study Among Married Adults.” The researchers of this study are Jose Orathinkal, Alfons Vansteenwegen, Roger Burggraeve. This paper will attempt critique and evaluate all pertinent and assigned elements within this article. DDuring this comprehensive evaluation we will disclose the strengths and weaknesses of this research, its methods, results its possible limitations and future uses. This paper will seek to disclose the viability, structure and the construction of this article as it pertains to the

The forgiveness intervention assisted older adults by exploring this topic, maybe for the first time (Ingersoll-Dayton, Campbell, & Ha, 2009). The process itself took place over a period of time. Forgiveness is not necessarily something that can be processed overnight. The time allotted for these sessions provided the group members with several weeks to explore the topic. The sessions involved a group facilitator and group members. The group facilitator was a trained professional who was knowledgeable about the therapeutic aspects of this type of group. Having other group members to share this experience with facilitated the experience of not being alone. Writing was also part of the process. The journal was a tool that allowed them to voice their experiences. As an assignment this provided the participants with the opportunity to continue their exploration of forgiveness beyond the group experience. The environment provided a safe place for the group members to explore painful memories. All of these factors contributed to helping this population explore forgiveness. The participants reported that this experience was helpful in that only one topic was explored, the nonjudgmental acceptance of the group and facilitator, and the journal questions.

The fifth theme presented in the book is forgiveness and the hostilities to forgiveness in counseling. According to McMinn (2011), forgiveness is of importance to emotional and spiritual health. However, forgiveness is perceived as a “danger” if it produces indignity or distress (McMinn, 2011).

The findings from this study were that there is limited empirical support in the area of self-forgiveness. The findings also indicated that there is a lack of self-forgiveness intervention methods. Based on this article, the finding concluded that in order for someone to forgive themselves or someone else, certain factors and determinates must be included; such as emotions or behaviors.

The case study I choose for my signature assignment is case study number four that addresses forgiveness. When I think about this topic, I think about it from several different perspectives. Not only are we taught to forgive those that trespass against us, as some recite in the Lord’s Prayer; but we must also learn how to forgive ourselves. Having forgiveness in our heart it can bring peace, comfort and favor from God. When confrontation arises, we should always react the way Jesus would want us to respond. Favor from God brings about a peace in our hearts that will show through ones character, integrity, and faith in God. On judgement day we will be judged by the way we used these attributes while on earth. This may be hard to do

Hall and Finchman is (2005) intent with their research was to provide self-forgiveness more recognition aside from what it has received in previous years. Their intent is for more research to be conducted on self-forgiveness in the area of literature. The authors gave the definition of what is self-forgiveness in both scientific and philosophic literature. The authors elaborate on why people do not forgive themselves initially and the reason for the lack of attention of forgiveness is mainly due to individuals not wanting to face reality. People tend to put a bandage on their problems rather than allowing their situation to take the course through the phases of denial, guilt, or shame and working through them as they progress (Hall & Fincham,

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” This quote by Mahatma Gandhi describes the character it takes to forgive an individual of wrongdoing. Forgiveness results in multiple positive outcomes for both the forgiver and the person being pardoned. Shakespeare’s The Tempest, Keating’s “I Forgave the Man Who Shot Me” and Bettencourt's “Triumph of the Heart” discuss the importance of forgiveness in terms of moving on, freeing someone of guilt and finding happiness.

Although the paper delved into important initial insights into what motivates forgiveness seeking, there is still much that remains unknown about seeking forgiveness that should be researched in the future. Such as, if the motivator for seeking forgiveness is guilt, then another area to look into could be if merely seeking forgiveness decreases feelings of guilt, or if the offender has to be forgiven in order to decrease feelings of guilt, and if this has any impact on forgiveness seeking behaviours.

Rebecca, Thank you for your post. I like how you have articulated the sphere of forgiveness with some great examples. Your specific statement on, “This realization is freeing, as it is a reminder that all is a GIFT!” It really struck a chord with me. I’m thinking to myself, these forums are a great way of looking at the big picture, and opening up our horizon. You are right by not forgiving we are our own prisoners. How do we set ourselves free? It is really as simple as with the grace of God ‘forgiveness’. Although it’s tough, when the impact is severe, there is no other magic way around. It gets easier once we realize “who’s we are”, and sooner we do better for us. Good on

Forgiveness, what does it exactly mean? When does it occur? Obviously, I know the basics of forgiveness but I really want to find what it entities and the process it takes. I know one also gain the ability to feel at peace with themselves when given forgiveness, but what gives them the ability to feel that way. Also, I ask of you to think is forgiveness meant to be given to everyone or just a select few. I always wonder if it actually possible to come up with a set of guidelines to Forgiveness, I mean wouldn’t that make life easy. Then again everyone experience is different, which leads me to ask how does one justifiably achieve forgiveness? In essence, I guess this will be my guide to forgiveness. Of course, I will look at real world examples but, I will create this guideline mainly out of my experience to reexamine and solidify my position on forgiveness and all it entails.

Robert Enright shared in that video was very informative on forgiveness and why we need to forgive. One piece of information that stuck out to me was, “to have a goodness towards that person that is even stronger than the injustice against us. And when we do that, we realize how strong we are.” It takes a strong person to forgive. But, we may not realize how strong one must be to forgive. We must build up this courage inside of us to trust the person who has wronged us again or even the courage to ask for forgiveness. Forgiveness is very powerful, it can restore a relationship we lost or the damage that has been

Forgiveness is a statement of God’s love that is established through Christians who desire to live a life of obedience in Christ.

This world is a world full of flaws, mistakes, and imperfections. Here, the seed of suspicion can kill, and the bud of defeat blossoms into redemption. Society is a growth of tangled vines, showing us right from wrong, and good from evil. The rules from the beginning were to always forgive, and that it is always an option. Forgiveness can help, but is it always possible? The goal on this exhibition of forgiveness is to explore self-absolution, the relationship between forgiveness and anger, and break the limits on what’s truly unforgivable.

I know this is the reason I picked the article, hoping to find the appropriate method for me to deal this unresolved, buried time in my life. What stood out most was the fact that resentment could lead to unhealthy conditions like depression and anxiety, which can influence ones emotional health and decision making. I never really thought about how that past situation could have or can be impacting my relationships and/or health. In my mind I had let it go and moved on, getting out of the predicament was the best and pretty much only move I needed to make. I can admit some anger still remained, but I honestly thought it was normal and healthy. There isn’t any hate towards the person, just not someone I would choose to be around. But it bothers me that from that experience I could judge others in a way I may never had. Or I may over compensate in situations to cover up my feelings of weakness because of the abusive relationship. This article has led me to better understand myself and realize that forgiveness was more than just moving on, it is about not holding on, actually wanting good for the person who did you harm, and using all that you learned as a positive to enrich your life.