Asymmetrical Conversations Between Men and Women

1648 Words Nov 10th, 2011 7 Pages
Conversation is a normal part of every day life. People converse everywhere they go; whether they are with their friends’, at school or even while at the store, a conversation is bound to ignite. While communicating has its ups, it also has its downs; these ‘downs’ can happen especially when men and women are communicating because, according to Deborah Tannen, they have different communication styles. Tannen illustrates this in her video, He Said, She Said: Gender, Language, & Communication, where she talks about and gives many examples of how men and women differ in their conversational approaches. I definitely agree with Tannen in regards that conversation between the sexes is asymmetrical. Tannen states in her lecture that boys and …show more content…
Men, on the other hand, tend to think that they have been using language all day and finally when they are home and comfortable all they want to do is relax and not have to talk. In public, men are more open because they feel the need to compete and show off in front of everyone. Women tend to be quainter in public because they just want to communicate and get along with others without competing. In the end, men tend to be public communicators while women tend to be private communicators. Another opposing conversation style between men and women that Tannen discusses is “ritual opposition”, or fighting. Men and women definitely have different outlooks on fighting. Men use this conversation style to create bonds with other men, while women use fighting to destroy bonds with other women. Males will exemplify their friendship through teasing and poking at other guys. Teasing can strengthen relationships between men and allow them to become even closer. Conversely, when women fight they are not usually teasing another woman for fun; it is usually because she is mad at her. In general, women definitely do not use opposition to create a stronger bond in one’s friendship. Tannen uses this and all of her other points to prove that men and women simply have different conversation patterns.
Tannen is not the only author who has looked into the conversational patterns between men and women. In Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus by John Gray, the author

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