Attachment Styles And Their Influence On Our Future Relationships

The attachment style that an individual exhibits as an infant can affect their adult romantic relationships. An attachment pattern is established in early childhood attachments and continues to function as a working model for relationships in adulthood. This model of attachment influences how each of us reacts to our needs and how we go about getting them met. The ability to recognize one 's attachment can help someone to understand their strengths and vulnerabilities in a relationship.

Psychologist Phillip Shaver expanded upon Bowlby’s theory too and stated that the attachments formed in one’s infancy extend to adult romantic relationships (Feldman, 2011). According to Shaver, securely attached adults enter into romantic relationships confidently and happily. They also tend to be supportive and sensitive to their partner’s needs. Those who have avoidant attachment style tend to be less into relationships and feel lonelier. Ambivalent or anxiously attached adults tend to be too invested in their relationships, have low self-esteem, and often are intrusive rather then helpful when

John Bowlby, the backbone of attachment theories will be discussed throughout this essay to explain and evaluate the key theories of attachment. Health and well-being which is made up of four factors ‘physical, intellectual, emotional and social ' (Jones, 2016), will also be discussed within the essay. The definition of attachment is ‘an act of attaching or the state of being attached. ' (Dictionary, 1400) This will be showed in the assignment, using theorists to analyse the meaning. Sharing the strengths and weaknesses in some theorists will help conclude this assignment.

From class, I have learned four attachment styles, and these four attachment styles are: Secure, Avoidant, Ambivalent, and Disorganized. We have seen a lot of different people who share different attachment styles. Also, there are people who fall all over the place within these relationship styles. However, the one that I found myself to be the most is the secure style. For example, in my relationship, I am a secure person, and I believe that my boyfriend is also secure. He is not one hundred percent secure, but he falls in that category the most. All relationships do go through some type of issue before they can finally make it. I have discovered that our relationship styles are secure based on how we treat each other. When something is wrong, we talk it out then we move on. One real

EFT is an attachment based research theory, that suggest that couples have strong need to stay connected (bond) to each other. As such, bonding is very important in marital relationships and if the bond is disappearing, then stressful and negative cycle pattern begins to emerge. Thus, the goal of EFT is to support couples walk through a process of healing (overcoming the negative patterns, rebuilding the connection again, and fortify the bond) (Goldenberg, Stanton, & Goldenberg, 2017). From the assessment that has carried out by the therapist it is clear that Tam and Lisa do not have what it takes to manage or settle conflicts without it escalating into something else. As such, the bonding between them is disappearing and it’s becoming stressful and disturbing to them and their children. Because Jimmy and Emma even though do not see their parent fight or disagree in the open but they can sense the disconnection between their parent and feel the tension whenever both of them where at home. More so, because of the negative pattern that has emerge as a result of lack of secure attachment, there is no more interactions between the couple and each others needs are not met. From the case conceptualization, and to decide what treatment plan should target or focus on the therapist will use the step-by-step treatment manual provided by Johnson and Greenberg (1995) as cited in (Goldenberg et al., 2017) for the therapy process:

Attachment styles influence relational patterns between a married couple and their children. These attachment relational patterns known as anxious, avoidant, and secure base styles are a product of the interactions experienced in early childhood with their caregivers. It affects people’s intercommunication with others all through their life span. Individuals’ attachment style involves a systematic pattern of relational assumptions, emotions, and behavior that develop from the subjective constructs definitive of attachment experiences throughout their lives. Negative relational patterns increase the likelihood of marital violence in the home. When experiencing stress related life issues, conflicts may arise due to substandard communication skills leading to physical violence, aggressiveness, resulting in harsh spousal disputes. A positive upswing in marital and family harmony occurs when healthy communication skills develop along with secure based attachment characteristics, such as, humility, gratitude, and forgiveness of self and others. These characteristics provide coping mechanisms that establish a positive self-identity and healthy social interaction with others. As the anxious and avoidant relational styles exercise these positive characteristics, in time, they develop a positive view of self and others while learning to work through life stressors, which benefit the marriage and family.

Attachment theory was originally proposed by Bowlby (1969) as an explanation of interpersonal relationships, with particular focus in his work on the parent-child relationships which are formed in early childhood. He noted that this was an evolutionary need within us as humans to form close attachments to improve our rate of survival (Bowlby, 1969). He later also theorized that these attachment styles would persist throughout life into adulthood (Bowlby, 1988). Further work on attachment theory by Bartholomew & Horowitz (1991) expanded on attachment styles and looked at the continuation of attachment style into adulthood. Using interviews with participants and the participants close friends they found evidence for four types of adult attachment styles: Secure, Preoccupied, Dismissing and Fearful (Bartholomew & Horowitz 1991). Further support for adult attachments styles is from Mikulincer & Shaver (2004) showing that attachments styles persist from childhood into adulthood demonstrating bowlby 's later hypothesis

After taking the quiz, I was surprised to find that I have a secure attachment style. I personally do not think how I was raised contributed to this at all. The way I was raised was very avoidant. My parents didn't encourage me and I did not share my feelings with them often, or at all. I was constantly afraid of being made fun of by them so I didn't share my opinions or thoughts very often. I did not like it when they were mad at me, so I would try my very best to always be on my best behavior. I have been with my boyfriend for almost four years though and I feel like that has really effected my attachment style. He is very supportive and is aware of my needs to be reassured, so I do not often worry about him leaving me or not paying close

Whether you grew up with organized or disorganized attachment, every type effects how you handle relationships as an adult. Rising studies show that connection early on has a sufficient role in adulthood bonds (Morris & Weiss, 1982). The process of studying infant to adult attachment was mainly started by two men named Hazan and Shaver in 1987. Shaver and Hazen (1988) connected their theory to past establishments of how we love. They also gave sufficient support for the three different attachment types. Positive characteristics in relationships correlate to secure attachment; Couples who show less intimacy and happiness tend to be involved in avoidant attachment; anxious-ambivalent attachment correlates to couples who show no satisfaction, except intimacy. (Feeney & Noller, 1990). Thanks to all the data and studies collects

New research does show that even though the primary attachments develops during infancy as a person grow the types of attachments could be altered with new types of attachments due to positive or negative life events. Secure attachment used to be the most common type of attachment among early people but with the new generation studies shows a decline in it and a small growth in avoidant and resistant attachment

comfort to be of more importance; it is hard to prove if this is the

The AAI examines childhood attachment history and how that history influences adult personality and behavior (Daniel, 2006). The findings revealed that in adulthood, the secure attachment style is fostered by comfort with connectedness, dependence, and the lack of fear of being alone (Daniel, 2006). A secure romantic relationship may consist of strong communication skills, confidence, and mutual support. The avoidant style is described as discomfort in closeness and an appreciation of not being close to others (Daniel, 2006). An avoidant romantic relationship may consist of distance and isolation. Lastly, ambivalent attachment style is characterized by a need to be extremely close to others (Daniel, 2006). For an ambivalent romantic relationship, an individual may require frequent reassurance from the significant other. Anxiety and avoidance are constructs used to identify the patterns of the attachment styles. Daniel (2006) stated individuals who are secure are low on both avoidance and anxiety. Individuals who are pre-occupied are high anxiety and low avoidance. Individuals who are dismissing are high on avoidance and low on anxiety. Lastly, individuals who are fearful are high on both avoidance and

Family climate appears to play an important role in early childhood attachment and bonding—particularly in the formation and establishment of styles of attachment that lead to lifelong emotional and relational functioning (Smith, 2009). Once a baby is brought into the world, it is solely dependent on a parental figure for existence. Therefore, when developing into an adult, it is vital that an infant gets the attention and nurture needed in order to flourish into their own person. Children construct a scheme for intimate relationships based on their parents’ relationship, as they experienced and understood it (Davies, Harold, Goeke-Morey & Cummings, 2002; Grych & Fincham, 2001; Reese- Weber & Hesson-McInnis, 2008). Individuals typically learn from observation, therefore witnessing the interaction of an adult figure plays a major role in their developmental knowledge on adult forms of attachment in all relationships. The lack of attachment as a child could alter an individual's attachment style as an adult through intimacy and relationships.

Another psychological factor that contributes to Pat’s behavior is his attachment style. Attachment style is a theory that explains how people go about connecting with one another emotionally and physically particularly to people close to them in a time of fear. It’s based on their view of themselves and their view of others in correlation to them. The attachment style is formed very early on in someone’s life and it usually starts with the primary relationship in a child’s life which is with mother and child but attachment style can also be molded during adulthood. This relationship sets the tones for all relationships to come and ultimately shapes how the person develops emotionally and socially. The type of attachment style each person falls into could be an explanation for their behavior in intimate relationships.

This study is important because it suggest attachment styles developed in early childhood may provide children a set of beliefs about themselves, others and the nature of relationships. Therefore, children who are securely or insecurely attached are more likely to have similar relationships in the future.