Attachment Styles and Relationships

The attachment style that an individual exhibits as an infant can affect their adult romantic relationships. An attachment pattern is established in early childhood attachments and continues to function as a working model for relationships in adulthood. This model of attachment influences how each of us reacts to our needs and how we go about getting them met. The ability to recognize one 's attachment can help someone to understand their strengths and vulnerabilities in a relationship.

Attachment is the emotional bond between humans, which is based on our relationship with a parent or early caregiver during the years of childhood. There are four different attachment styles – secure, preoccupied, dismissive, and fearful – each describing a different way in which individuals interact with others, approach social and romantic relationships, and deal with life.

Psychologist Phillip Shaver expanded upon Bowlby’s theory too and stated that the attachments formed in one’s infancy extend to adult romantic relationships (Feldman, 2011). According to Shaver, securely attached adults enter into romantic relationships confidently and happily. They also tend to be supportive and sensitive to their partner’s needs. Those who have avoidant attachment style tend to be less into relationships and feel lonelier. Ambivalent or anxiously attached adults tend to be too invested in their relationships, have low self-esteem, and often are intrusive rather then helpful when

John Bowlby, the backbone of attachment theories will be discussed throughout this essay to explain and evaluate the key theories of attachment. Health and well-being which is made up of four factors ‘physical, intellectual, emotional and social ' (Jones, 2016), will also be discussed within the essay. The definition of attachment is ‘an act of attaching or the state of being attached. ' (Dictionary, 1400) This will be showed in the assignment, using theorists to analyse the meaning. Sharing the strengths and weaknesses in some theorists will help conclude this assignment.

From class, I have learned four attachment styles, and these four attachment styles are: Secure, Avoidant, Ambivalent, and Disorganized. We have seen a lot of different people who share different attachment styles. Also, there are people who fall all over the place within these relationship styles. However, the one that I found myself to be the most is the secure style. For example, in my relationship, I am a secure person, and I believe that my boyfriend is also secure. He is not one hundred percent secure, but he falls in that category the most. All relationships do go through some type of issue before they can finally make it. I have discovered that our relationship styles are secure based on how we treat each other. When something is wrong, we talk it out then we move on. One real

Attachment styles influence relational patterns between a married couple and their children. These attachment relational patterns known as anxious, avoidant, and secure base styles are a product of the interactions experienced in early childhood with their caregivers. It affects people’s intercommunication with others all through their life span. Individuals’ attachment style involves a systematic pattern of relational assumptions, emotions, and behavior that develop from the subjective constructs definitive of attachment experiences throughout their lives. Negative relational patterns increase the likelihood of marital violence in the home. When experiencing stress related life issues, conflicts may arise due to substandard communication skills leading to physical violence, aggressiveness, resulting in harsh spousal disputes. A positive upswing in marital and family harmony occurs when healthy communication skills develop along with secure based attachment characteristics, such as, humility, gratitude, and forgiveness of self and others. These characteristics provide coping mechanisms that establish a positive self-identity and healthy social interaction with others. As the anxious and avoidant relational styles exercise these positive characteristics, in time, they develop a positive view of self and others while learning to work through life stressors, which benefit the marriage and family.

The Attachment theory is a psychological, ethological and evolutionary theory that gives a descriptive and explanatory framework of understanding interpersonal relationship between human beings. Presented by John Bowlby, the important tenet of this theory is that an infant needs to develop a relationship with at least one primary caregiver for social and emotional development to progress generally.

Attachment, according to Emde (1982) is a deep and enduring emotional bond that connects one person to another, across time and space. John Bowlby, and Evolutionist, believed that attachment was pre-programmed. In order for us to survive as a species, we needed to attach to a significant other; that its innate in us to single out a few specific individuals around us and attach to them, an so providing a survival advantage. Bowlby rationalised that the attachment between a mother and infant was unlike any other bond; very unlike the bond an infant would develop with another human. He coined it ‘Monotrophy’.

An attachment is an emotional bond between two people. It is a two-way process that endures over time. An evolutionary perspective of attachment was researched by the famous John Bowlby in 1969.

The learning theory put forward by Dollard and Miller (1950) attempts to explain why attachments are formed in terms of nurture. They claim that attachment involves a set of learned behaviours through classical and operate conditioning. Classical conditioning

To identify your attachment style, read the following questions, and carefully consider which of the following three first-person descriptions best characterizes your feelings and behaviors in romantic relationships. Do not be afraid to be completely honest with yourself. There is no judgment here.This is just a jumping-off point to help you move forward along a new, healthier, and ultimately more successful path to intimacy and romance.

After reading about the adult attachment style theory, I learned that children obtain their styles from their parents/caregivers. My scores reflect that I am secure in my attachment styles. I was not surprised, I had very loving, supportive parents that never failed me or left me in times of need. They provided for me in every aspect that a parent should. I was raised in a very structured environment and that is how I parented. My scores, although not as low as what I thought, reflect I could use some work on my self-confidence and I am aware of this. I have worked on it and I have gained more self-confidence than when I started this program. I did not always lack self-confidence, this was something that happened later in life for several reasons.

Ainsworth identified three patterns of attachment that include the secure attachment style, anxious/ambivalent attachment style, and avoidance attachment style. Depending on the specific attachment style one was exposed to and learned as an infant will demonstrate specific adult attachment styles which involved the secure, preoccupied, fearful and dismissing adult attachment styles. Interactions we first have with our primary caregivers shape our relationships as adults (Power 2011).

As humans, building relationships between others is a form of connecting and communicating. It is a social situation that is experienced every day through the course of a lifetime. The initial relationship that is made is between the mother and the child. This bond that connects two people is known to be called attachment. The theory of attachment begins at birth, and from that, continuing on to other relationships in family, friends, and romance. Attachment is taught through social experiences, however the relationship with the mother and her temperament are the key factors in shaping the infants attachment type, which

There are two approaches to attachment; evolutionary theory and behavioural theory, and for the purposes of this essay I will focus largely on the evolutionary school of thought.