Attachment Styles and Relationships

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Attachment Styles and Relationships Jennifer Oliver PSY/220 Adam Miller Part One When you have two individuals and they share an emotional attachment, we call this an attachment style. According to Bolt (2004), there are three main elements. Care, commitment and closeness. I like to remember them easily by calling them the 3 C’s. Attachment styles start at birth. It is important to realize that although nature and nurture are both important elements that help develop our attachment style they are not the only factors. Our parents, close relatives, even siblings can help us develop our individual attachment style. The first attachment style is closeness, from the time we are infants, we experience either the closeness…show more content…
Those that experience the other end of the spectrum, the avoidant attachments will be more likely to be in relationships of a casual nature, have no regard for personal relationships, may lie and cheat, not giving the relationship any value or merit at all. This type of behavior usually occurs in those that were not given care, commitment, or closeness from their caregivers. They can sometimes be aggressive, jealous, needy, and have an intense fear of rejection. They don’t feel that they can have a trusting or healthy relationship so it’s as if they try to sabotage it from the very beginning. They fear their partners may reject them so they tend to become the aggressors. Again, this behavior is characterized by the lack of attention given in theory formative years. With a better understanding of how our style initially developed, we can better learn how to modify it. An example would be a child who was initially in a household where the attachment was cold and rejecting, where the parent did not put the child first and acted like they wished the child had never been born. At some point due to divorce the child now ends up in a warm and responsive, supportive household where she is paid attention to and doted on. Her first years, although not the best , would certainly have a negative effect at first since this is all the child would have known but then going into another loving,
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