Attachment Theory And Its Effects On Personality

Good Essays
CWID: 11390617

In interacting with people in my daily life, I often attribute an individual’s negative actions or attitudes to their innate personality. If someone is overly emotional or selfish, I, like many others, will initially believe that those traits are simply who they are as a person. What if this is untrue, and these individuals are simply a product of unhealthy attachment styles in their younger years? As I have continued to learn more about the subject of attachment theory, I am struck by the amount of influence a person’s younger years can have on their later psychological development. I was aware that childhood years were quite impactful on one’s future, but did not fully understand the specifics. This newfound knowledge
…show more content…
Over time, these occurrences caused me to view her as a needy, clingy “drama queen” who cared about nothing except her own problems. The relationship became exhausting as there was no give and take on her part, only take. At the time, I thought these traits were simply who she was wired to be. If I had known what I do now, I could have looked to her past to find some answers for these concerning behaviors. Molly grew up in a single parent household with her mother as the sole breadwinner. She had multiple jobs and was rarely home due to this. Additionally, Molly’s father was virtually nonexistent. This scenario is a perfect brewing ground for an insecure attachment style. I could easily imagine a situation where an infant Molly would only receive the attention and affection she desperately craved when she screamed and cried her hardest. Her mother was most likely exhausted in the small amount of time she was present, allowing her to fall short in creating the bond between mother and child. I cannot know these details for sure, of course, but attachment theory seems to perfectly explain Molly’s behavior as she grew older. She sought approval heavily from me or others, and could not find it within herself. She lacked basic emotional regulation and confidence. Sadly, my efforts to console her and boost her self-esteem would almost always prove pointless, causing me to feel constantly drained by the
Get Access