Attachment Theory By John Bowlby

They devised a ‘love quiz’ in a local newspaper, asking readers to describe their feelings and experiences about romantic relationships and their childhood relationships with parents. They found a strong correlation between childhood and adult relationship patterns: for example, insecure-avoidant types doubted the existence of love, feared closeness and found it hard to forgive; insecure-resistant types were intensely emotional, jealous and untrusting; and secure types believed in love, were very trusting and liked being close to others.

Danny attempts to impress Sandy by jumping over hurdles but he trips and falls, but Sandy runs to his aide to check to see if Danny is ok. He asks her about having a date for the “big dance” but she states “No”. At this point Danny takes the opportunity to ask her to go with him and she accepts, but states that she did not appreciate the way he treated her the other night. They decide to go to the local restaurant, but before they go in Danny states that he does not want to go in because he does not want people to bother them. And so he says that he would rather go to a place where they could have some privacy. Before they have a chance to leave friends see Danny and Sandy outside and they come out to see them. Sandy asks he Danny would like to come and have tea with her and her family, but Danny replies he don’t like tea. And moments later the two of them leave. The two go to the dance together and are getting along great, until one of Danny’s ex-girlfriend’s arrives with one of his buddies. Sandy asks how he knows this girl and he states it’s “a friend of the family.” Next, Sandy is whisked away from Danny and this ex-girlfriend begins to dance with him. Sandy being visually upset runs out of the gym and leaves. Danny realizing what has happened but continues to dance.

One of the most important factors that affect child development is the relationship of the child with their primary caregiver. This is a tenet of developmental psychology known as attachment theory. John Bowlby, the creator of this theory, wanted to examine how early childhood experiences influence personality development. Attachment theory specifically examines infant’s reactions to being separated from their primary caregiver. Bowlby hypothesized that the differences in how children react to these situations demonstrates basic behavioral differences in infancy that will have consequences for later social and emotional development.

Psychologist Phillip Shaver expanded upon Bowlby’s theory too and stated that the attachments formed in one’s infancy extend to adult romantic relationships (Feldman, 2011). According to Shaver, securely attached adults enter into romantic relationships confidently and happily. They also tend to be supportive and sensitive to their partner’s needs. Those who have avoidant attachment style tend to be less into relationships and feel lonelier. Ambivalent or anxiously attached adults tend to be too invested in their relationships, have low self-esteem, and often are intrusive rather then helpful when

When Ms. Rodman arrived in the lobby the boyfriend started to make a scene and forced her outside. As a

He then realized that he must have to find forgiveness in himself, to forgive himself for all the time he wasted and for making mistakes like leaving her and treating her that

Steve has gone out and not returned at night with friends, leaving Sarah worried and upset. Finally, after having had enough Sarah had decided to move back home, separating from Steve. After a 6-month period, Steve called Sarah and apologized or how he treated

She pleaded to him to show some feeling towards her. Everyday was harder for her to get through as she saw less of her husband.

John Bowlby had worked with residential school children as a volunteer early on in his career and had determined that the children who suffered the most from anger outbursts, aggressivity, and whom her termed “affectionless” were also the children who had suffered the most maternal deprivation (). Bowlby advanced that the loss of the mother figure was extremely distressing and damaging and could influence adults' behavior years later. Hence, where psychoanalysis had been concerned “solely with the imaginings of the childish mind, the fantasied pleasures and the dreaded retributions” (Fonagy), Bowlby showed that humans do not develop in a void or as “individual monads” but as members of interacting systems. Bowlby developed his theory on attachment for several decades, and at a time where any dealings with childhood trauma were still rigorously influenced by Freudian psychoanalysis through the likes of psychoanalysts such Anna Freud or Melanie Klein. Even Winnicott was “revulsed” upon reading Bowlby's papers (siegel). It certainly was a bitter pill to swallow for psychoanalysts who had been repeating since Freud that the newborn was a little tyrant fighting for oral gratification at the mother's breast and merely clinging on to fulfil sexual instinctual needs. Bowlby's work was thus eschewed for a considerable time, despite his involvement with the World Health Organisation and the considerable empirical weight that was added to his findings by Mary Ainsworth's studies in

The consequence of this has built resentment. Sheila would like to have a conversation, as she believes that communication is the way to address their differences. However, Mario responds negatively to the topic, so much so that he threatens to leave her. For example, he makes comments such as, “You love your dogs more than you love me,” or “It’s your house, do what you want,” or “I’ll sleep downstairs so you can sleep with them.” The closest he has come to expressing his needs is that the bedroom feels “at peace” when they are alone with the dogs downstairs.

John Bowlby’s attachment theory established that an infant’s earliest relationship with their primary caregiver or mother shaped their later development and characterized their human life, “from the cradle to the grave” (Bowlby, 1979, p. 129). The attachment style that an infant develops with their parent later reflects on their self-esteem, well-being and the romantic relationships that they form. Bowlby’s attachment theory had extensive research done by Mary Ainsworth, who studied the mother-infant interactions specifically regarding the theme of an infant’s exploration of their surrounding and the separation from their mother in an experiment called the strange situation. Ainsworth defined the four attachment styles: secure,

With this she makes the decision to leave and request him never to talk to her again.

After 17 years he finally got the message. It finally became clear that she wanted to live her own life and he was not going to be included in it. He would not accept that loss.

It doesn´t last long enough for him. His love for her will continue and he doesn´t want her to go.

he “shook it off” as if she is the one that failed him (pg 133). Even