Attempts to Connect in Joyce Carol Oates' Shopping Essay

“Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” was published in 1966 by Joyce Carol Oates. The story follows a girl, Connie, who encounters a mysterious man. She catches him watching her walk away with another boy, but doesn’t bother to think of him. As the days pass, she is stuck home alone to do whatever she wants; she enjoys her day relaxing—daydreaming about boys—until a car drives up to her house. Who might it be? The man… the man we soon call as Arnold Friend. Connie’s failure to look beyond her fantasies makes her prone to manipulation and deception; so one of her major character flaws is naiveté.

To most girls, the most important opinion of them comes from their own mothers. The text talks about how much a mother’s opinion can really impact their daughter. The smallest comments from a mother means so much to their daughter. The text also mentions how just a gaze from a mother says it all, and can lead to an upset and hurt daughter (Tannen, 1978). Personally, I always want my mom to be happy with my choices. Whenever there is a special occasion and I want a new dress for it, I always want my mom to come shopping with me, not just because she may offer to pay for it, but I want her to see my options. Even when my mom isn’t able to go shopping with me, I still want to get her thoughts

Mrs. Fletcher sees this gift as a blight on her body; the perception leading her to say “I don’t like children that much…I’m almost tempted not to have this one,” (). Welty points to vanity as the destroyer of beauty. The evil-mindedness of self-love breaks even the sacrosanct bond of motherhood.

Shopping, a common activity conducted by almost everyone at least once a month, is such a normal subject in our everyday life, one barely puts any thoughts into the potential semiotic explanations behind it. According to the two essays, “The Signs of Shopping” and “The Science of Shopping,” Shopping has significant impacts on one’s self-identification. It is a two way straight, the consumers’ shopping styles can also influence the economic status of the retails businesses.

The reader cannot help but feel the burden the daughter will be sharing with the mother. And while the plight of the mother is real, the reader cannot ignore how the isolation and loneliness of this type of community, or lack there of, has effected Tome's judgment in mothering.

Although the daughter’s shame in her mother is evident, she is also prideful of her as well. The strong love that the mother and daughter share is pervasive throughout the story. The story is being told by the daughter after she is all grown up. The fact that Jones uses such vivid detail on the mother’s preparation for her daughters first day of school shows that the daughter loved her mom and all that she did for her. The daughter recalls that her mother spent a lot of time preparing her when she says, “My mother has uncharacteristically spent nearly an hour on my hair that morning, plaiting and replaiting so that now my scalp tingles.” (Jones) She also remembers that her “pale green slip and underwear are new, the underwear having come three to a plastic package with a little girl on the front who appears to be dancing.” (Jones) The daughter having remembered details like these illustrate that she has an immense love and takes pride

“Where Are You Going, Where Have You Been?” by Joyce Carol Oates is based on a real-life event of Charles Schmid Jr. and the murder of multiple girls. The short story is designed around this historical event and has several key points that are comparable to both the story and the event. This story starts with a girl Connie who, like any typical teenager, is very flirtatious with a lot of guys; one person, in particular, Arnold Friend, is portrayed as a cougar. He shows up to Connie’s place, takes her somewhere and what's left is an inferred cliffhanger. The short story gives a more effective ending as it leaves the reader in a state of deep and complex thought in relations to the sudden and abrupt ending. Threats such as burning Connie’s house down, stopping her heart, and “going for a ride” are red flags that hint at Connie’s near future.

In the short stories “Shopping” by Joyce Oates and “Fish Cheeks” by Amy Tan, I discovered a connection in both stories about mothers love. Both show a gratitude of reasons on how and why mothers love is present. Both stories have a completely different morals but both come together into one meaning; mothers love.

When the woman finds the baby, she acknowledges all the signs that the baby is dead but seems to create a separate reality. She becomes delusional and takes the baby in as if it was hers; feeding, bathing, and caring for it constantly. She even imagines that the house she is a mid in belongs to her, the baby, and the pool man. In the end she says "We made a pretty picture standing there. Rose, me, and him." The woman's delusional state is provoked by her inability to maintain a family. She desperately wanted a family of her own. The author constantly uses words like "my" and "mine" that show possession. The woman's way of coping with tremendous loss and suffering was creating an alternate world. Danticat adds the woman's escape from reality to portray the desperate desire of Haitians to prosper from a life of poverty.

The relationship between a mother and a daughter is one of complications, heartaches, and sweet rewards.  This is no exception between Nola and Mrs. Dietrich, characters in "Shopping" by Joyce Carol Oates.  The tribulations of their relationship are shown during their annual shopping trip.  In the time spent together, Nola is obviously trying to break free from her mother and become her own woman.  This coming-of-age path is expressed by her "private thoughts" and  "answers in monosyllables" (Oates 834).  As Nola desperately tries to acquire her own self, her Mrs. Dietrich desperately tries to hang onto the child in Nola.  She tries to stay in her

The line between being an acceptable and unacceptable parent is often blurry and is seen on different perspectives when it comes to class, culture, and generation differences. Based on the two stories of Amy Tan’s, “Two Kinds” and Tillie Olsen’s, “I Stand here Ironing” we see these two perspectives that derive from different maternal upbringings of the children in the stories. What is found between them is the conflict of being too little or heavily involved in a child’s life has had more negative outcomes during their childhood than positive.

Mrs. Dietrich often wants to ask Nola questions, but refrains from it. Nola does try to discuss the subject but initially she does not explain her feelings. Then she simply leaves in the middle of the discussion. The chance to communicate is lost. The two still do not understand the other person's side. They never close the gap if they do not recognize that good communication is a result of telling their feelings, listening, and understanding.

Malcolm Gladwell is currently a non-fiction writer for The New Yorker. After college, he took a journalism position in Indiana and later took a position in Washington. In 1996, he moved to New York, where he is today. He has written five books and each has been on the New York Times best seller list (Famous Authors). In his first year of working as a journalist for The New Yorker, he wrote, “The Science of Shopping.” In this piece, Gladwell objectively evaluates Paco Underhill’s research within the business industry. Underhill “would have from a hundred to five hundred pages and pages of carefully annotated tracking sheets and anywhere from a hundred to five hundred hours of films” for each experiment that he conducts (99). With Underhill’s determination and research, and Gladwell’s journalistic qualities, this report changes the way anyone views shopping.

“The Old Dictionary” is a short story by Lydia Davis that uses a seamless syntax structure and an uneasy tone to successfully show the thought process of one parent who is realizing the effects of having too many obligations and being heavily depended on. In Davis’s story, readers meet a troubled parent whose task-oriented personality seeps into other areas of life to skew what should be most important. It begins with a description of the Old Dictionary; the narrator is concerned they are giving this book better treatment than their son. As the story progresses, the narrator compares the way they treat other living beings, such as the dog and plants, with the treatment of his or her son and the dictionary. They express the stressful feelings associated with caring for other things and being depended on. The story follows the narrator’s thoughts as they try to discover the underlying causes of their mismatched priorities, and experience an internal battle of why their primary concerns for their son seem less substantial than concerns for the Old Dictionary.

Words are finger-painted in the dust on the back window above the bumper stickers declaring, "My child is an honor student" and "Vacation at Disneyland." Sticky, diapered youngsters spill from the van to scramble for a rusty cart which desperately needs a front-end alignment. Suburban Sally, in a loose sweatsuit and pink rollers, unravels a grocery list equal to any childÕs letter to Santa. She skillfully maneuvers the cart through the maze of shoppers, braking without warning, to comparison shop or to threaten her loud bunch of food guzzlers. With the strength of a two-ton truck, she steers her cart to the finish line. As the cashier rings up her purchases, it is time for her to make one last lap around the store for a forgotten item. Customers sigh as she pulls out coupons and rebates to offset the sticker price. She writes a check and calculates the difference before leaving. A good set of brakes and plenty of tabloids to read are necessary when shopping behind Suburban Sally.