Authoritarianism In Relationships

In North America, people will argue that love needs to happen before marriage but, historically, this is actually a very new notion. Mr. Smolinsky was in shock when his daughters wanted to marry for love. He asked his wife if they even looked at each other before the engagement and she replied, “’Maybe if I had the sense of my daughters in America, I would have given you a good look over before the wedding’” (76). This implies that if she had the choice, she would have married for love or perhaps a different man at least.

Arranged marriages are very popular amongst many countries and cultures. It is the tradition of someone’s spouse being chosen for them, usually by their parents. Unfortunately, a decent amount of these marriages occur with the person being forced against their will, or the bride being a child. Arranged marriage, as seen in Shakespeare’s “Romeo and Juliet,” is an important topic in literature and modern-day culture.

Arranged marriage is found in various cultures and countries around the world, including Afghanistan and other parts of the Middle East; having an arranged marriage is thought of as an Afghani tradition and has been a part of life for many families. The practice of arranged marriage has advantages and disadvantages; it can create more family power and give more financial security. Sadly being forced into a marriage can disrupt the independence of the engaged, most women stop their education when they become engaged resulting in many women being illiterate. This makes it impossible for them to be successful without depending on their husbands. Arranged marriage is found in many cultures throughout the modern world, though in a lot of cases it results in a happy family it can also be very limiting on women and often girls are married before they can give consent.

If one does not require a marriage for their love to grow or even transpire, then why do it at all and for what purpose? With a look at “The Arranged Marriage” by

In “Bringing Home the Wrong Race,” Diane Farr, an American, writes about the struggles she had to face when she wanted to marry a Korean guy named Seung Yong Chung. One of these struggles was making Seung’s parents accept Diane when Seung’s parents strictly said that he would marry a Korean. Basically, even in modern times, parents set limitations in marriages and relationships. As shown by the experiences of Diane Farr, her husband’s parents had set limitations in who he could marry. Another similarity is that if a person were to marry because of love, it would not be considered wise. In A Midsummer Night’s Dream, Hermia wants to marry Lysander because she loves him; however, Egeus does not want that to happen. “It is generally considered foolish to marry for love. . .” (Maggi Ros). There are similarities in marriage between these three time periods such as how parents had the say in marriages and relationships and how marrying for love was foolish.

Marriage has been a heated controversy for the past few years because people often marry for the wrong reasons. Anyone who thinks of an ideal marriage would think of two people loving each other and sharing a personal bond or goals together. Marriage is regularly defined as the legally or formally recognized union of two lovers as partners in a personal relationship. This definition remarks there is an actual connection between two people in marriage, but do people actually consider this when committing to “love” and “support” their partners forever? As research and studies have shown, people ultimately get married for many reasons, except love. This philosophy can be easily applied to the short poem, “Marriage” by Gregory Corso. In this emotional poem, the author argues marriage is more effectively understood or known for culture and convenience rather than through the abstract considerations of love. Here, we can identify people generally decide to marry for the incorrect reasons, for instance the story of the author himself. Corso finds himself confused multiple times, wondering if he should marry to not be lonely, for tradition and for his physical and mental health. He disregards love, a relationship or a connection with his future wife. General ways of convenience like loneliness, health and economic status between cultural stereotypes and religion are usually the true reasons of why people chose to have the commitment of marriage with another person.

Most people arrange marriages for their off springs because they think that they can find a more suitable mate for their offsprings and they believe that their offsprings should be married to someone of their own family status, the same salary and the same religion. Marriages continue to be arranged in order to enhance family resources, reputation, and alliances, and because parents and older relatives feel that they are more qualified than young people to make such decisions. In today's society parents are giving their children more power (not all the power) to make somewhat of a decision on who they're going to get married to. Some families still have strict rules on who their offsprings are going to marry but they still give

In both arranged marriages and love marriages there are some good things but as well as a few bad things. During the 20th century, arranged marriages were very common among families. In non-western countries many of the cultures say that love is not a requirement for marriage (Epstein). First comes marriage, then comes love. That is the normal in their cultures.

If there is no love found, the couple is left in an unworthy relationship. In arranged marriages, the couples are not able to understand each other very well before the marriage and also not aware of the likes and dislikes of one other. In love marriage, the couples get to know each other ahead of the commitment. When speaking of love, love has to be developed in an arranged marriage, as they will only know each other better after the wedding. In a love marriage, the couples have been together long enough to get to know each other before the marriage, so they have always been in love, and there is no need to develop it. Another problem in forced marriages, is that men are always more dominant than the women. No one seems to be dominant person over the other in a love marriage. This is another reason that women are more likely to be abused in an involuntary marriage. According to a New Delhi psychotherapist, abuse is found more in arranged marriages rather than love marriages. Considering these factors, it is evident that love marriages cause greater serenity over the troubles that come along with a forced

Constant fights also occur in love marriages due to lack of sufficient equality or shared values from both partners. This in mind, the couples do not have time to dig deep into each other leading to insecurities (Duggi 174). Cases of rash decision for marriage happens when the endowment is brought to the table, convincing their parents to agree to approve the marriage irrationally. Furthermore, the rush gives both partners limited time to know each other, and in the future bringing out an excuse for divorce, based on inequalities form both partners. In contrast, arranged marriages are not rushed and require approval from several people on both sides before proceeding. When it comes to weddings, love marriages tend to be the exact opposite

The problem is that you need to know how to love someone before you get married to them. Let's say an Arab guy who actually loved a girl for years, and then he decides to discuss it with his family. What do the parents say? No. Simple as that. After all that years and love, nothing. Why is it always the parent’s final say in the marriage of two people who are in love? Why do they have to find something wrong with the person their son want to get married to? So what happens next? He marries a girl his parents approve. but lets go of the one he truly loves. It is fucked up.

From the perspective of a Utilitarian, one would argue that arranged marriage is both ethical and unethical. A utilitarian decides whether an action is good or bad based on the results that bring the greatest good to the greatest number of people affected by the action. The so called good can be defined as “happiness.” In India, places where arranged marriage are very common because it is part of their culture. Therefore in a Utilitarian eyes it would be ethical to get married if it were part of your culture and geographical location because betraying your culture would do more harm and some forms of happiness are superior to others. Many couples find themselves to be part of happy marriages like we saw in the article What It’s Really Like To Have An Arranged Marriage. Sandaya, the bride, who lived in India had an arranged marriage set by her parents. She felt honored to have done this for her family and knew it was a

Arranged marriages are set up by friends and family, and sometimes by a matchmaker that sets up the marriage. But the bride’s father has the most responsibility in arranging marriage for his daughter, and is the one who approaches the father of a potential bridegroom. Important aspects when considering a possible match are financial status, caste, and the bride and bridegrooms horoscopes matching. The role of astrology is important, and if a Hindu priest finds that the horoscopes of the potential spouses do not match, they will not marry, and must begin the search all over again (Livermore, 2009). India’s view of marriage first and then love is very different from the Western view where love comes before marriage, seems to be successful. The

Further, parents and elders of the family have moral responsibility to protect the marriage having been arranged by them. The underlying principle in an arranged marriage is to allow room for adjustment than demands against each other. In a matter of time, love would blossom gradually once the understanding between the couple improves and they learn to factor for each others mistakes. Living life and going through experiences is what grows your love for a

I come from a culture Afghanistan, where people fall in love very rarely. Everyone mostly goes with arranged marriage and this has been going on for centuries. If someone falls in love with another it would be difficult for them to get married because culturally it 's a shame and it will bring chaos among both families if they find out. However, lately love marriage is becoming common among the young generation in spite of its difficulties. When I was growing up, my mother would always tell me that I should not fall in love with anyone because she believed strongly in arranged marriage like she had with my father. After graduated from high school, I got a job in an international organization. Some of my co- workers were female. I was too shy to talk with any girl in our office because my mother had already told me that I should not be close with girls. She did not mean that I should be very rude with girls, but she did not want me to have a girlfriend. I did not blame her because that is how she had grown up. Although I tried not to fall in love with anyone, however, I could not marry with my first love.