Aviva Patz's 'Will Your Marriage Last?'

In Caitlin Flanagan’s Is There Hope for the American Marriage, she establishes the foundation for what the American Marriage means in today’s world by arguing that marriages are likely to collapse over time. With this being said, Flanagan goes on to depict the fragility of marriage during times of adversity, and how susceptible the couples can be when searching for alternative bonds from people other than their own partner, even if it means making moral sacrifices. Through a series of anecdotes from sources like herself to politicians, she further expands on this idea that the ideal marriage is nothing but a hoax for the likelihood of publicity. Flanagan includes sources from sociologists, such as Andrew J. Cherlin and Maria Kefalas, both whom

There is a staggeringly large amount of divorces in the United States (US). In total, the US had a recorded total of 2,140,272 marriages in the year 2014 alone, and of those marriages, 813,862 ended up in divorce or annulment (Center for Disease Control). This means that as recently as 2014, there was a divorce rate of approximately 40%. This supports the statistics that the divorce rate for the US has stayed within 40-50% since the 1970’s (Austin Institute, 2014). While the numbers themselves are important, it is also important that the causes for the high divorce rate be explored, so that it can be known what pitfalls to avoid when participating in such an important union as marriage. There are many causes of divorce in the US such as conflicting gender roles, socioeconomic status, religious conflicts, physical abuse, emotional abuse, alcohol addictions, and many more (Amato & Previti, 2003). This paper will look at many of these reasons, but it will also focus on the differing reasons reported by men and women.

Modern, contemporary society’s mindset on marriage has shifted considerably over the years. Some research has noted the increase in early sexual experiences, greater acceptance of cohabitation and the increase in narcissistic tendencies, are complicating and muddying the ideals of what marriage means to people today. Research done on this subject resulted in several studies that found that spouses who did not believe that marriage would last forever, were less likely to commit to the relationship financially and were more likely to have extramarital affairs.

“In addition to the research showing the detriments of living together, several studies have discovered-with 80 percent to 94 percent accuracy-the variables that predict which marriages will thrive and which will not. This means unmarried couples can know in advance if they have a better-than-average chance of succeeding in marriage.” (pg.507). With an appeal to emotion, it is not a good idea to test a marriage as a result of making the relationship more worse and have more consequences that could lead to a divorce. Overall this essay, is an appeal to ignorance and a slippery slope. It constantly argues about the same topic with an additional lack of quality evidence to believe, since it is not specific to prove that the whole main argument would be

In the article “What if Marriage is Bad for Us?” Laurie Essig and Lynn Owens summarize the things that

We question the relation between premarital cohabitation and divorce. From looking at literature regarding this question I hypothesize that time and social change determines cohabitation and divorce.

“Will Your Marriage Last?”, by Aviva Patz, is a cohesive article about marriage and divorce. Aviva Patz is the executive editor of Psychology Today. Patz narrates the story of Ted Huston, a professor at the University of Texas, who followed the lives of 168 couples for 13 years after their wedding date. She was then able to draw conclusions about what makes a couple stay together or end up filing divorce papers. Although marriages and divorce are the themes of this article, it is really about society’s pressure on young people to be perfect.

Stephanie Coontz is a sociologist who is interested in marriage and the change in its structure over the time-span as love became a main proponent of the relationship involved in marriages. In her article, “What 's Love Got to Do With It,” Coontz argues that the more love becomes a part of the equation the less stable the institution of marriage becomes. Marriage at one point was a social contract that bound two families together to increase their property and wealth as well as ally connections. Each party entered into the contract knowing their roles and if one partner failed to meet the expectations, they were still contractually obligated to one another and were not allowed to divorce. As love became part of the equation, each partner was less sure of their obligations and often chose to end their marriages if at all possible.

Marriage requires effort and work. Many newlyweds come into a marriage thinking it is easy but do not consider the consequences of marriage that heavily rely on balances and partnership. Marriage is all about compromise. It is important to engage in a premarital program to allow both partners to learn what to expect within a marriage, how to face certain roadblocks, and to better communication when conflict is aroused so that divorce does not become an option. Gottman’s research (2009) has made a significant contribution to the study of relationship and marriage tying unity, harmony, and communication together to make relationship and marriage work. When a couple who does not have consummate love (intimacy, passion, and commitment), they often portray the six indicators of divorce: harsh startup, the Four Horsemen, flooding, body language, failed repair attempts and reflecting on bad memories (Gottman, 2009). Divorce often occurs within the first two years of marriages and almost half of divorces end within the first seven years (Bhutto-Ramirez, 2015).

Conversely, most people perceive marriage as a sanctuary, satisfying the needs of both partners involved. It is one of the most important institutions affecting people’s health and well-being. Firstly, a strong marriage has a dramatic effect on the partners’

When reading Chapter 14 on page 264, the authors indulged in a discussion on marital adjustments. Marriage is influenced by many factors that take effective of marital adjustments. As stated in the text, there are influences at three different levels. Individuals, family, and social. One of the most important factors influencing martial adjustments over the cycle of life is, addition. At the individual level, the developmental trajectory of both spouses; their level of self-management, emotional, financial, educational and interpersonal competence, the values and beliefs they have about marriage, about the acceptable role of men and women, and the equity in relationships. The family level, marital adjustments are influenced by the relationships

Marriage is a commitment of spending the rest of one’s life with someone he or she cherishes deeply. It is the joining of two people in a bond that lasts until death, but in practice is increasingly cut short by divorce/ separation. Most people claim that they want their marriage to last a lifetime, and who wouldn’t? However, over half of all marriages in the United States end in divorce. In 2010, Paul Amato published a statement on divorce in the prestigious Journal of Marriage and Family. He states, “At the end of the 20th century, 43% - 46% of marriages were predicted to end in dissolution.” In the short poem written by Washington Irving “Rip Van Winkle”, Rips relationship with his wife was horrible because of the point of view, characters, and symbolism.

Brady uses strong word choice to create an ironic and sarcastic tone. The text contains a personal story that references the narrator’s newly divorced male friend who is already looking for a new wife. The narrator responds to the situation by saying “It suddenly occurred to me that I, too, would like to have a wife.” The narrator mocks her male friend by saying that after witnessing and analyzing his current situation, she all of a sudden realizes the advantages of having a wife, which makes her want one as well. This produces an almost uneasy feeling within the reader. As the mood and tone of the essay suddenly shift to sarcastic, any ideas previously discussed become invalid and cannot be taken seriously. The text ends with the statement “My God, who wouldn’t want a wife?” By closing with this unanswered question, the reader is left to interpret the essay however they see best fit. The reader is left to contemplate whether or not to give in to society and continue to promote these impractical standards made for women, or stand up and work to make a change. The author, who is a women, freely mocks the

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), in 2011 there were 2,118,000 marriages in the United States and almost half as many divorces (2013). The CDC also reports that only half of all first marriages will reach their twentieth anniversary. Divorce is a topic everyone is familiar with and it has almost become a normal part of life. While it is assumed that more divorces occur now than in the previous generation, the CDC actually reports that divorce rates have dropped over the past twenty to thirty years, though this could be due to the increase in individuals who live together without ever getting married or those who simply separate and cannot afford to become legally divorced. However, it has become a more

These constraints lead some cohabiting couples to marry, even though they would not have married under other circumstances. On the basis of this framework, Stanley, Rhoades, et al. (2006) argued that couples who are engaged prior to cohabitation, compared with those who are not, should report fewer problems and greater relationship stability following marriage, given that they already have made a major commitment to their partners. Several studies have provided evidence consistent with this hypothesis (Brown, 2004; Rhoades, Stanley, & Markman, 2009).