Avoiding Conflict at All Costs Essay

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Conflict is defined as the perception of incompatible goals or actions between two people (McCornack, 2013). How you approach these tense situations greatly affects the outcome of the conflict and your interpersonal relationships. Everyone experiences disagreement at some point in their lives and it is important to know what you bring to conflict situations in order to become a more competent communicator. Therefore, I completed the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode Questionnaire and asked my sister and boyfriend to do the same regarding my conflict style (Introduction to Interpersonal Communication Course Workbook, 2013, p.29-31). I chose these two people to fill out the questionnaire because they both know me very well in two different types…show more content…
While interviewing my boyfriend, he pointed out that I always complain to him about issues I have within a variety of relationships including roommates, friends, classmates, family members, etc., but that I never actually confront the person about the conflict. This further proves my inflexibility since I do not change my conflict style according to the degree of conflict or the type of relationship. I still avoid the issue no matter who it is with or what it is about.
A person uses certain tactics in order to carry out their overall approach to conflict (Seung, 2014, March 21). I personally use direct denial, topic shifts, and noncommittal questions most frequently in order to avoid conflict with others. Using direct denial explicitly rejects that there is an issue at hand. For example, my roommate plays loud music in her room when she studies and she asked if it bothered me. I lied and said, “No, it isn’t a problem, I can barely hear it in my room, anyway” although it is loud enough to distract me while I’m studying. Using this tactic allowed my roommate to suffer no loss at all while I am still dealing with the issue. Although the use of this tactic avoided a disagreement in our relationship, it did not solve the conflict in the long run because I still have deal with the issue.
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