Battle of the Moms Essay

As a child, I’ve seen my parents focused the majority of their time and energy at their work to provide for our family. In 2000, the U.S Department of Labor Bureau of Labor Statistics had recorded that working couples with children under 18 years of age worked an average of 66 hours a week compared to couples without children, who worked an

When highly paid professional women leave jobs to stay home and take care of their children they are considered ?good mothers?. Also, when they do decide to work outside the home they are judged as ?selfish? and ?bad mothers?. However, the expectation of poor women is the exact opposite. Poor women are often criticized for staying home to take care of their children and are expected to leave the home and work for wage in order to receive the ?good mother? approval from society.

The article talks about how some mothers who gave up their employment to monitor their children’s studies and also go to school with them, just to make sure their children succeed. Parents even monitor their children’s five plus hours of nightly homework. Children aren’t allowed to watch television until the homework is done.

In Judith Stadtman Tuckers “The Least Worst Choice: Why Mothers Opt out of the Work Place” Judith Stadtman Tucker looks at why hard working, intelligent woman are choosing to leave their high end jobs to stay at home with their children. Judith Stadtman Tucker expresses her option that it is nearly impossible to work 40 hours a week, be available on your off hours as well as raise children. I fully agree with Judith Stadtman Tucker’s point of view that it is absurd to have to be at the mercy of your employer even in your off hours, nor less if you are attempting to create an emotional connection and successfully raise a child. It is no question that even in today’s modern society that it is assumed that woman are the best caregivers for young children. If you are put in a position where you have a child to raise, is it more appropriate to abandon your career or to emotionally abandon your child to a stranger or strangers and allow them to raise it? Judith Stadtman Tuckers argument against mothers having to choose between the joys of parenthood and the freedom of being able to work a career really speaks to me because it makes me consider what I want for my own future and what I would choose.

In her interviews with woman she was sure to interview very well educated women and those that strived for mere perfection. One thing is that the men in the lives of these women were not supportive and not mentioned of much. The men and society of today have placed a lot of responsibility on a woman’s shoulders when it comes to the child. It is the woman who makes the decision or is given the task to make the heavy decisions regarding the child’s future. Because of this many women choose to stay at home to be sure that the children will receive everything that they deserve and that they are not lacking in any area. Another issue that she reviews is that employers do not work with moms at all. For example she talked about the scenario where two moms brought a solution to their problem to management yet it failed to receive approval instead one mother was offered more money (Guest, 2011). Employers are not very flexible when it comes to mothers and don’t provide the proper care that is needed for a child. Since men are the ones that don’t carry the responsibility of the child’s well-being having proper day care is not a factor for them. Then there is the cost of day care which is high and can at times not compare to what the individual is making.

Americans that work too many long shifts affect the lives of the people around them too. For instance, one statistic from a Family Matters Survey done by The National Partnership for Women & Families in 1998 found that, “70% of working fathers and working mothers report they don’t have enough time for their children”.Another statistic from this survey reported that over 80% of Americans found it diffcult to balance their work life and their personal life. In fact, it is estimated that around 11 million children age 5 and under spend time in a form child care facility every week(Child Care Aware of America). It is also estimated that children whose

“The vast majority of Americans (79%) rejected the notion that women should return to their traditional role in society. Yet when they were asked what is best for young children, very few adults (16%) said that having a mother who works full time is the “ideal situation.” Some 42% said that having a mother who works part time is ideal and 33% said what’s best for young children is to have a mother who doesn’t work at all. Even among full-time working moms, only about

Being a mother is a full time job because as a mother you need to be around your child all the time. Even the father plays a similar role but nothing can ever come close to the nurturing capabilities of a mother towards her child. However, the present trends reflect that most parents are generally engaged in professional jobs where they need to devote a certain amount of time. Irrespective of the professional commitments that parents have, they must also give time to their children and take care of their responsibilities.

In her article, “A Mother’s Day Kiss-Off”, Leslie Bennetts describes the problem of how our culture depicts the typical mother as a stay-at-home mom and how mothers respond to that problem. She begins her argument by commenting on how Mother’s Day will come but pass leaving mothers to go back to their excessive responsibilities. She critiques the weight our culture imposes on mothers because raising children is still viewed as the mother’s job. Bennetts draws attention to the flaws in our society that prevent women from following their dreams because of motherhood.

In the past 30 years, one of the most dynamic social changes in the history of the United States has taken place in the area of employment, specifically of women with children. Although, to some degree there have always been employed mothers, today a greater proportion of mothers are employed than ever before. Statistics show that in 1976, 48% of the population of women categorized as “married women with children” were employed and it increased to 62% in 1986 just 10 years later. What are the causes for this and how does it affect the children?

Mothers who worked in occupations with a variety of tasks and problem solving opportunities provided more warmth and support and a greater number of stimulating materials. Their children manifested more advanced verbal competence. Such findings are consistent with the classic argument of Kohn & Schooler (1982): "What parents experience at work, they incorporate into their styles of parenting."

They argue that this media driven debate pins working mothers against stay-at-home mothers in order to “divert the dialogue away from the real issues such as affordable health care, quality childcare, gender and racial equality, fathers’ roles in parenting, media effects, fair wages and benefits, and family-friendly work arrangements” (204). They state that in this culture of mother-blame, mothers have been blamed for causing problems in regards to childhood development such as, “epilepsy, colitis, asthma, ulcers, arthritis, anorexia nervosa, and a multitude of more severe problems in children” (207). However, they argue that it is now “accepted that these disorders are in fact not caused by poor mothering…” (208). Another issue with the Mommy Wars debate is that it portrays a universal kind of woman – white, affluent, and heterosexual – ignoring the fact that there are many different kinds of mothers of all backgrounds, sexualities, and economic statuses – which can make those who are not reflected as the “average” mother, feel inadequate. The authors further argue that these messages that working mothers are harming their children are what discourage women from economic participation and achievement and can have a negative impact on a mother’s perception of herself - which in turn can affect her performance as a parent. It seems that the

In most modern industrialized countries, the proportion of working mothers with children under 18 greatly increased in the last few decades of the 20th century, to the point that one-half of all mothers with children under 5 are in the workforce.

Mothers are very passionate about their choice to work or stay at home with their children. This is a heated debate about what is best for children and who is the better mother. Just in the last generation more mothers are choosing to work, which is also sparking some conflict in families where grandparents felt it was important to stay at home with their children. This paper compares and contrasts both sides of working and being a stay at home mother. While there is no right or wrong answer to the work and family dilemma, it’s important to understand both sides.

During this last century societal views towards women have drastically changed, from being looked at as a homemaker, to a businesswoman, to a mother, and now a working mother. One thing that hasn’t changed through the years is how women are critiqued for what they do and how they do it. If a woman takes care of the house she’s lazy and doesn't use her potential. If a women works in the office more than she’s at home she doesn’t connect with her family enough. The latest judgement women are facing: are working mothers better mothers. Today, women are being put against each other to be viewed as the “better mother” just by looking at their profession.