Biography Of John Van Epp 's Ram Plan

1701 WordsApr 3, 20177 Pages
John Van Epp who has a Ph.D. in Counseling/Psychology, is a therapist, former professor and lecturer wrote the book How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk. This book is a guild about how to fall in love without going crazy in the process. Throughout the book Epp explains his RAM Plan (Relationship Attachment Model) which is an interactive model developed to illustration parts of relationships that create important connections. Included in the model is: Know, Trust, Rely, Commit and Touch. “The five fundamental dynamics are the depth to which you know, trust, rely on, have a commitment to, and have sexual involvement with another person. The RAM portrays these five dynamics in a way that explains their unique contributions to the bond…show more content…
The part of chapter 1 I find most interesting is that, Epp breaks the social norms that have been instilled in us since childhood. For example, fairytales and romantic comedies that depict that you can find your soulmate and know they are “the one” in single moments. Many relationships end because of issues over looked or minimized because of “love”. Epp uses the term love-is-blind syndrome to describe his patients that lessened warning signs of relationship issues and lacked the knowledge to cultivate healthy relationships. The history of marriages was not always based on love, it wasn’t until recent history that people have been responsible for finding their own partners. “Eighty percent of all cultures throughout all history practiced some form of planned marriages: arranged marriages and forced marriages.” In the past relationships were based off of “…cultural, religious, and ethnic backgrounds; compatible in social status and family values; beneficial for not just the two who were marring but also the extended families involved.” It was planned out to create the most beneficial situation as possible, love was not involved. Epp referred to this as “think” when creating a relationship. That is the issue in today’s society that thought has been thrown out the window, and the heart has taken over. For example, “The trouble

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