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Bobby's Rules By Bibby Analysis

Decent Essays

BOBBY’S TRIALS is a captivating story that should be told. It’s a fascinating tale of the injustice and manipulation of the law system against one young man. It feels as if it may be based or inspired by true events. It’s a story about the underdog overcoming all the odds, learning to fight back, and eventually become victorious. One can envision the story being very inspirational. The goal is clear and the stakes are high. The story elicits a strong sense of indignation about the theme of law and the court system. The setting of 1963 is authentic. There’s a three-act structure. The opening nicely sets the tone and hooks the audience with the fire and the discovery of the two bodies in the home. A nice mystery is created that pulls the …show more content…

It’s not until almost the end of the story in which Bobby decides to become an attorney and defend his life. Show him being more proactive, especially when he gets out of jail. Show what he does to try and prove he’s innocent. The other concern about the structure and presentation is that the story relies heavily on dialogue to tell the story rather than show the story. The structure tells the story from various characters using a voiceover. It’s a bit fragmented going from Ray Kelly’s voiceover to Bobby’s voiceover to the trustee’s voiceover. Reconsider this technique. Either eliminate the voiceovers or just tell the story from Bobby’s point of view and use his voiceover only. Also, it appears that the voiceover doesn’t begin until about page 28, which is late to begin this style. If it’s going to be used, open with it. Using various characters to narrate a story can work, but it requires this type of narration from the opening and to be well …show more content…

Avoid having a character talk to one’s self, like Bobby saying, “Wow - how the hell did my stuff get in here?” It sounds on the nose and contrived. The renter sounds on the nose, “Where in the hell did that stuff come from? Something is very fishy.” More on the nose: “I need to wash my face and comb my hair. I was attacked by a huge rat last night.” On page 16, the state investigator repeats information about Ray Kelly. The jail trustee has too much dialogue (example page 32 & 44). Story is about conflict and tension building. Find ways to make the tension stronger. The indignation is there, but by making Bobby more proactive in his own defense, as he gets closer to the truth and remembering what happened, this will help elevate the sense or urgency or ticking clock. Show how he constantly fears another trial and losing his new

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