Boundaries in Marriage. - Theory Critique Essay

1351 WordsMay 22, 20126 Pages
Theory Critique: Cloud and Townsend Theory Critique: Cloud and Townsend Sam and Diane have been married for a few years now and, everything was so perfect in the beginning. There was nothing but plenty of love and romance. Even still, Sam had become more and more demanding of his wife until at a certain point he began demanding robotic perfection of his spouse. It took a few years, but Diane became more and more fed up. She became more and more hypersensitive and hyper-vigilant to anything that Sam said to her so that now, even the slightest criticism would enrage her against Sam which would cause her to remain angered for 24 hours at a time. However, she could not help herself. Her nerves were at their end and did not know any…show more content…
Secondly, the authors explain what the book is not. Cloud and Townsend (1999) emphasize and recognize that their book in not meant to help a spouse grow up. “Boundaries in Marriage is not about fixing, changing, or punishing your mate,” (p.11). They are clear that the solution is about being in control of oneself and taking ownership in one’s life. In Diane’s case, by being able to be in control would allow her to take ownership of her life, protect her own feelings, and protect her spouse in a way that does not promote enabling. Body of Boundaries in Marriage Any ordinary and civilized couple may enter into holy matrimony with the great intentions, but as the marriage goes on, it can get more and more strange. By virtue of merely having ordinary human emotions and motivations, boundaries can be broken. Moreover, complications can occur based on a person’s past. As Wilson’s (2001) message and as the title Hurt People Hurt People implies, those who have been hurt are likely to hurt others. Thus, there is the connection of childhood trauma. Those who have been a part of the never-ending cycle of pain, hurt, and brokenness amongst generation after generation are likely to continue this cycle and are also the ones likely to violate boundaries of marriage. Boundaries that break down in a marriage are a very good predictor of a marriage that will break down,
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