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C. O. D. War Case Study

Decent Essays

What did you do during the C.O.D. War? When Ted Turner was launching his cable-TV empire in the '80s, he paid the bills by selling commercial space to anyone who had anything to sell. Between low-budget rasslin' matches and re-runs of Japanese monster movies, Turner's Superstation was a televised flea market. It pitched cheap steak knives, records by faux-hobo Boxcar Willie and any gizmo dreamed up by second-rate Ronco imitators. The beauty was that you could order up the junk by phoning and having it sent to your house C.O.D. - that means "cash on delivery" for all you post-Internet babies who know how to buy only with plastic. In the C.O.D. epoch, if a nifty product caught your eye, all you had to do was dial the number on the screen …show more content…

code of ethics, you had to sign your name and pay the postal employee on the spot. It didn't take long before my chronically bored friends and I said: "Hey, what if, you know, like, dude, we called up the TV people and gave another person's name and address to the operator instead of a real one? Huh-huh-huh. Wouldn't it be funny if (INSERT NAME HERE) got something that he never ordered?" That was the spark that lit the cannon that lobbed the ball into Fort Moron and signaled the start of the great C.O.D. …show more content…

Yodel on that, muskrat. Although many thought it was just a rumor of war, we heard tell of a teacher who received a musical toilet seat C.O.D. Every time the lid was closed, the cushy seat played "Endless Love" by Lionel Richie and Lady Diana Ross. Rebel insurgents must've been responsible for that one. Loose lips sink ships, as any sailor knows, and that was our undoing after one beautiful week. What good is sending the complete collection of musical misery made by British warbler and whistler Roger Whittaker if you can't mention it to your pal, "Uh, dude, after you tire of staring at your Sheena Easton poster for hours, do you find yourself, you know, whistling 'Sleepy London Town' like a pistol-whipped whippoorwill?'" Busted. Caught. Punk'd. Outed. Hand, meet cookie jar. The retaliation was swift and costly. Recordings by Slim Whitman rained on my doorstep. Who knew there were so many archive recordings by Red Sovine - the genius who gave us "Teddy Bear" and "Little Joe," the unparalleled CB radio-inspired song cycle? I had so many steak knives I could've started a circus

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