Chapter Ten Under Family Communication

One such tradition is not socializing with neighbors but only talking to her sisters or other family members. Both of my great-grandparents came from a large family and so the Sunday was always considered family day. It was nothing to see a yard off of kids playing or see the men playing a game of horseshoes as the women would set out the dinner. However, it was the winter time that holds the most memories for my mother. It was then that the families would all gather at the family pond and go ice skating and the men would build a big fire and everyone would stand around and drink hot chocolate. One such tradition in the winter time was right after the first snow fall of the season. We would take a big mixing bowl and go out and fill that bowl as full as we could. Then she would go in and make a big bowl of snow ice cream (Food in Every County). One bright sunny day, our family was going to Lake Pomme De Terre for a family picnic. Like Shteyngart, I was all set for some grilled hamburgers or hot dogs or even some fried chicken. However, that was not meant to be. Like Shteyngart, is aw food being set out that was I saw food that was familiar to my great-grandmother’s culture. Instead of grilling hamburgers, she set out chicken and noodles, mashed potatoes, green beans and for dessert a shoofly pie, sugar cookies, and schnitz pie, which is made with dried apples (Food in Every County). My mother laughed when she saw my face because later my

My own personal experience plays a part here as I don’t believe my family was ever “fully actualized.” Independence and autonomy was stressed, however, warmth and connectedness between members was not. Feelings were definitely suppressed in my household growing up, and even today sharing openly feels awkward. Whitaker, as well as Satir, has inspired my theoretical framework because I see the importance of the affective or emotional layer of family interactions.

As we know families as always changing and so are the dynamics. Communication is a transactional process that is changing over time. Two central scopes of family behavior are adaptability and cohesion. Each is divided into four levels to create 16 combinations. Overtime it has changed to fit into cohesion, adaptability and communication.

The ways in which a family communicates messages with each other plays a key role in shaping the lives of each individual family member. Humans have always belonged to and identified with their families even before they could speak or form any other social group. Family members not only rely on each other to be there for emotional and social support, but also shape how individuals identify themselves. Therefore, the quality of family relationships greatly impacts the quality of life for most people. (Koerner & Schrodt, 2014)

encouraged him to continue with his education, even though he was starting a brand new

Communications Theory is a therapeutic modality that can be used as an intervention in family therapy settings. Developed by the well-respected family therapist, Virginia Satir, the concepts and techniques behind Communications Theory have earned much respect amongst therapists worldwide. Satir focused on the importance of establishing and maintaining clear channels of communication to improve the lives of families who struggle with myriad challenges. She believed that families needed to be given ways to see hope more clearly. She also professed that the presenting problems may not be as important as the way in which people cope with the problems. More clearly, her focus was more on helping people gain hope through better communications skills which lead to more effective coping mechanisms (…).

As the holiday season is coming nearer each day, I found it appropriate to look further into the traditional Thanksgiving topic. I can only describe what my family does, my Puerto Rican and Caucasian family. As far as I can say, we are not necessarily traditional with our celebration of Thanksgiving. So I figured why not use this assignment as a way to further look into the holiday and how it is celebrated across America, this can mean anything from families celebrating it in their homes, to the retail shops of the country selling holiday/seasonal items to go along with the tradition. I would like to examine the traditions of thanksgiving.

Now that I have offered analysis and reflection on the extended family field of my family system on a macro level, I want to provide a microscopic look as it relates to individuals and individual relationships within my family system. As previously mentioned my family tends to have a level of homeostasis that is comfortable with distance and long periods of not interacting. This does not mean we do not love each other; we are just comfortable loving at a distance. This is connected to one of our unspoken rules and expectations, which is do not feel bad if I do not call you or interact with you regularly. This unspoken

Thanksgiving Holiday means so much to me. I love to celebrate that extended weekend with my family. On the eve of the big day, my cousins and I meet at an elder’s house and then the festivities began. This shared feast started in 1621 with the Plymouth colonists and Wampanoag Indians sharing a harvest feast ("Thanksgiving," 2016). A portion of the food can be prepared the day before. We decide who would handle what task and when it time clean up the second generation, always try to make the third generation do it. We then continue to cook and clean and reminisce of our past year. Sometimes we would bring up our childhood pranks and stories of family members that passed and present. On the day of Thanksgiving we finish cooking,

(Even the “ex’s” and the people who are not quite in the picture anymore.) As we gather around the table we share things we are thankful for. Whether we are thankful for the sweet banana pudding waiting for us after supper, or whether it is something heart felt, we always come together and share things as a family. But most importantly, we share food. Each separate family brings something they cooked and my aunt sets it out as a buffet line along her kitchen counters and we join hands and say the blessing, and start fixing our plates. Us ladies get to go first. As I make my way around the counter tops each year, I fill my plate with tender turkey and juicy ham, potato casserole, green beans, macaroni and cheese, rolls, corn on the cob, and other things

I spent my childhood at home while my parents worked incessantly for a living. From an early age, I valued hard work, viewed it as the opportunity to excel in life and fulfill my dreams. Since childhood, I witnessed

10 hours a day from Monday to Friday and six and a half on Saturday.

We all have family traditions, some of which we take pride in, some of which we dread and despise but, whether you know it or not they are what make us who we are. One of my favorite traditions that I can truly say I’m passionate for would have to be Thanksgiving dinner. The dinner for the holiday goes by in a blink of an eye because of all the enjoyment. However, the preparations that lead up to the day are long and prestigious even though they are what make the dinner so great. Since the holiday comes up before we know it, we get started as soon as the year hits mid fall.

My family has always been very close. We spend a great deal of time together and express our deep feelings and emotions with one another. If one of us has an issue, every member of the family is aware of it and shares the burden. When a person in the family does not share significant information about one’s life with the rest of the members, there is hurt feelings. Also, if a member cannot attend a family event, the family feels disappointed and misses the absent member. It is evident that connectedness is held as extremely valuable.

No matter how tired he was from his long work week, he would be up bright and early Saturday morning to attend any of our sporting events, tournaments, or recitals, and then chauffeur us and our friends to slumber parties or school dances. He was always very protective and kept a watchful eye over us.