Chapter Ten Under Family Communication

starts with ourselves. we need to address that we, too, are human beings, with our own thoughts,

As the holiday season is coming nearer each day, I found it appropriate to look further into the traditional Thanksgiving topic. I can only describe what my family does, my Puerto Rican and Caucasian family. As far as I can say, we are not necessarily traditional with our celebration of Thanksgiving. So I figured why not use this assignment as a way to further look into the holiday and how it is celebrated across America, this can mean anything from families celebrating it in their homes, to the retail shops of the country selling holiday/seasonal items to go along with the tradition. I would like to examine the traditions of thanksgiving.

and very demanding job. Together we worked out a schedule that worked for both the

The communication pattern in my family would be a two-way communication. A two communication is where both the parties involve themselves in the communication process. This process gives more clarity on the information that needs to be provided and also gives a better solution to any issues that might come up with communication.

Communications Theory is a therapeutic modality that can be used as an intervention in family therapy settings. Developed by the well-respected family therapist, Virginia Satir, the concepts and techniques behind Communications Theory have earned much respect amongst therapists worldwide. Satir focused on the importance of establishing and maintaining clear channels of communication to improve the lives of families who struggle with myriad challenges. She believed that families needed to be given ways to see hope more clearly. She also professed that the presenting problems may not be as important as the way in which people cope with the problems. More clearly, her focus was more on helping people gain hope through better communications skills which lead to more effective coping mechanisms (…).

(Even the “ex’s” and the people who are not quite in the picture anymore.) As we gather around the table we share things we are thankful for. Whether we are thankful for the sweet banana pudding waiting for us after supper, or whether it is something heart felt, we always come together and share things as a family. But most importantly, we share food. Each separate family brings something they cooked and my aunt sets it out as a buffet line along her kitchen counters and we join hands and say the blessing, and start fixing our plates. Us ladies get to go first. As I make my way around the counter tops each year, I fill my plate with tender turkey and juicy ham, potato casserole, green beans, macaroni and cheese, rolls, corn on the cob, and other things

Healthy family relationships act as pillars for interactions with people outside the household. Families have a way of instilling people’s attitude, characters and the general perception towards life. Such are characters that are developed in

Family stories shape our perspective of our family as a whole. There are many reasons people discuss family stories. This can be to build an identity, create a link between the past and future, teach a lesson or moral, or to negotiate dialectical tensions or manage difficulties. There are also many types of family stories. A couple that are common among many families are courtship stories, birth stories, survival stories and stories on the margin Finally, family stories help shape the family themes, rituals, myths and metaphors.

One such tradition is not socializing with neighbors but only talking to her sisters or other family members. Both of my great-grandparents came from a large family and so the Sunday was always considered family day. It was nothing to see a yard off of kids playing or see the men playing a game of horseshoes as the women would set out the dinner. However, it was the winter time that holds the most memories for my mother. It was then that the families would all gather at the family pond and go ice skating and the men would build a big fire and everyone would stand around and drink hot chocolate. One such tradition in the winter time was right after the first snow fall of the season. We would take a big mixing bowl and go out and fill that bowl as full as we could. Then she would go in and make a big bowl of snow ice cream (Food in Every County). One bright sunny day, our family was going to Lake Pomme De Terre for a family picnic. Like Shteyngart, I was all set for some grilled hamburgers or hot dogs or even some fried chicken. However, that was not meant to be. Like Shteyngart, is aw food being set out that was I saw food that was familiar to my great-grandmother’s culture. Instead of grilling hamburgers, she set out chicken and noodles, mashed potatoes, green beans and for dessert a shoofly pie, sugar cookies, and schnitz pie, which is made with dried apples (Food in Every County). My mother laughed when she saw my face because later my

My own personal experience plays a part here as I don’t believe my family was ever “fully actualized.” Independence and autonomy was stressed, however, warmth and connectedness between members was not. Feelings were definitely suppressed in my household growing up, and even today sharing openly feels awkward. Whitaker, as well as Satir, has inspired my theoretical framework because I see the importance of the affective or emotional layer of family interactions.

As we know families as always changing and so are the dynamics. Communication is a transactional process that is changing over time. Two central scopes of family behavior are adaptability and cohesion. Each is divided into four levels to create 16 combinations. Overtime it has changed to fit into cohesion, adaptability and communication.

Even though my family is close, we place value on the differentiation of self, a concept developed by Murray Bowen (Hutchison, 2015). Each of the members within the family have unique personalities and methods of living life. Each member in my family has always been encouraged to express one’s own opinion and to be independent. We converse about our conflicting opinions, but we are usually respectful and still support one another.

The ways in which a family communicates messages with each other plays a key role in shaping the lives of each individual family member. Humans have always belonged to and identified with their families even before they could speak or form any other social group. Family members not only rely on each other to be there for emotional and social support, but also shape how individuals identify themselves. Therefore, the quality of family relationships greatly impacts the quality of life for most people. (Koerner & Schrodt, 2014)

We all have family traditions, some of which we take pride in, some of which we dread and despise but, whether you know it or not they are what make us who we are. One of my favorite traditions that I can truly say I’m passionate for would have to be Thanksgiving dinner. The dinner for the holiday goes by in a blink of an eye because of all the enjoyment. However, the preparations that lead up to the day are long and prestigious even though they are what make the dinner so great. Since the holiday comes up before we know it, we get started as soon as the year hits mid fall.

No matter how tired he was from his long work week, he would be up bright and early Saturday morning to attend any of our sporting events, tournaments, or recitals, and then chauffeur us and our friends to slumber parties or school dances. He was always very protective and kept a watchful eye over us.