Classification Essay: The Types of Drinkers

1024 Words 5 Pages
“I drink to make other people more interesting.”
― Ernest Hemingway


In the great world of tending bar there is a myriad selection of customers one would encounter; The Social Drinker, The Self Defined Outcast, The Fish Out of Water, and last but never the least, The Freshman. Each level of drinker has its advantages in social circles and also has equal negative repercussions. Most of these classes aren't built from years of drinking, rather are formed through the personality traits they already have developed through their childhood and young adulthood. Only when alcohol is introduced to the equation, we see these great classifications shine through and become polished for all to enjoy.

In the wild, one would
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On rare occasions, the elusive character will be cohered into the party of Social Drinkers, throw back a few fruity cocktails, loosen up, and become a crossbreed of the two, in turn makes for a great customer for the fact that they deeply wished for acceptance from the start. On the rare occasion the Self Defined Outcast feels threatened in this situation, mostly from the thoughts of being the “butt of a joke,” will lash out and start a pretty sizable fight that ends the good times for all.

“A monk, when he is cloister less; Is like to a fish that is waterless.” This old saying sums up this lost character: The Fish Out Of Water. This one is usually hiding in other categories wishing they weren't in this evil den of heathens. They've been coerced into coming out due to a friend or family member telling them they, “Need to get out more.” The Fish Out Of Water doesn't go out for the fact that they know it's a bad idea! Starting with one drink and staying obedient to sobriety is the first step to total annihilation for this class. Before you know it, they are not in control, as if a hidden beast emerges from the deep chasms of their being. The Fish Out of Water will give the people around them fair warning of this beast before the next round of drinks, but no one heeds the warnings. Three drinks in and the party can go two…