Codependency: Family and Co-dependency this Condition Essay

In the memoir Beautiful Boy, by David Sheff, we get a glimpse of his son’s addiction to crystal meth. Sheff wrote an amazing story that illustrates how hard it is for a parent to struggle with co-dependency and the natural feelings of wanting to protect your child. This book emphasizes how difficult it is for a parent to stand back and let their children’s life fall apart because of their addictions. Beautiful Boy, shows us many situations that co-dependents struggle with everyday with their loved ones. Some of the themes a co-dependent struggles with are the obsession of the mind, enabling, and feelings of hopelessness.

In today’s world, families are dynamic and interdependent systems. The developmental processes of the children in the family are deeply affected by how the family system operates. However, a family’s structure does not determine whether it is a healthy family system or not. Today, families consist of single parents, stepparents, divorced parents, remarried parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles. They are all able to contribute to a healthy functioning family system by meeting each family member’s needs and encouraging positive communication (Jamiolkowski, 2008). Unhealthy family systems have negative and possibly

Codependency is a passionate, mental, and behavioral condition to alcohol, drugs or some kinds of betting. Codependency describes behaviors, thoughts and feelings that go beyond normal kinds of self-sacrifice or caretaking. Codependence was first observed in the wives of alcoholic men. Co-addicted people might believe that, at some level, getting a partner or family member to become drug-free or alcohol-free might seem like the one goal which, if achieved, would bring them success in their life and happiness. But on another level, they might realize they are behaving in a way that enables the addict with whom they live to maintain their addictions.

Addiction is not an individual problem but something that affects the whole family. Stevens and Smith (2013) state that families will “readjust to redistributing responsibilities to accommodate the user” (pp. 247-248). Children learn to adapt to their dysfunctional family, including taking more responsibilities on when their parent cannot because of their addiction. Families need to be included in treatment so that they can learn positive ways to help their family member without enabling them. The Bible states in Ecclesiastes 4:9 “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed” (New Living Translation). God designed humans to need each other that is why he created Eve as Adam’s helpmate. Having a support system

Psychodynamic theorists explain the causes or substance abuse as related to dependency issues dating back to early childhood. This view claims that a when parents fail to satisfy a young child’s need for nurturance the child will grow to be highly dependent on others for

The majority of children living in a dysfunctional family with a drug addicted parent will not develop a secure attachment with another individual, where the relationship revolves around intimacy and mutual understanding. Parents who are codependent on each other have learned to regard the dysfunction as normal, and their children could be susceptible to numerous scenarios. They could become the target of their parent’s abuse, either sexual or physical. The children of codependent parents could easily gain access to drugs or alcohol since no one is paying attention to the child. The codependent parents are preoccupied with the alcoholic or drug addicted parent, and they might never bother to realize their child is in grave danger. The codependent parent’s children might never recover fully from the trauma, abuse, or neglect inflicted on them. In addition, the children learn to become adults who repeat the vicious cycle of domestic violence or abuse themselves. Children of codependent parent might grow resilient despite

Although all sorts of families can be devastated by addiction, but single parent units (the most common lower class structure) are the most obscured. Behavioral Health of the Palm Beaches supports, “In every family unit, each person plays a role (or multiple roles) to help the family function better and to maintain a level of homeostasis, stability and balance. When substance abuse is added to this dynamic, the family roles naturally shift to adjust to the new behaviors associated with drug or alcohol use, and to continue maintaining order and balance.”4 In single parent units there is an inability of a second parent to fill the void role of the addicted parent. The National Center for Biotechnology Information states, “Frequently, children may act as surrogate spouses for the parent who abuses substances. For example, [young] children may develop elaborate systems of denial to protect themselves against that reality of the parent’s addiction. Because that option does not exist in a single‐parent household with a parent who abuses substances, children are likely to behave in a manner that is not age‐appropriate to compensate for the parental deficiency.”2 So a child growing up in a compromised family unit where addiction is present may develop altered norms and mature into an addict themselves.4

Addicts blame others when things go wrong, they make loved ones feel guilty or ashamed, and maintaining an addiction can take a financial toll on a family. Children, pets, and other family members are often neglected and left to fend for themselves when living with an addict. Addiction can also cause separation in a family. Eventually patience runs out and people end up walking away from the addict when they refuse to get help or take responsibility.

Family is of great importance to having a functional or dysfunctional development; it will help or impede the child to have a support system in place.

With the awareness of substance abuse as an illness, attention has also been directed to the families and loved ones of those who suffer. Why do families and loved ones stay with someone who is so obviously ill? Why do they tolerate being taken advantage of? One of the first books to address this issue is Codependent No More. According to the author, the issue at hand is codependency, where the individual in the relationship with the addict suffers from an illness as well. This paper is an analysis of the book compared with similar research on the topic.

Cook, L. (2007). Perceived conflict, sibling position, cut-off, and multigenerational transmission in the family of origin of chemically dependent persons: An implication of Bowen family systems theory. Journal of Addictions Nursing. 18: 131-140.

A dysfunctional family is a group of people usually related by some means, not always necessarily by blood, in which conflict, misbehavior, maltreatment and neglecting create a hostile life for its members. To explain this idea better we will see the definition of family, the differences between a healthy and a dysfunctional family; their characteristics and behavioral patterns. Some examples will help us examine this issue better, taking us to discuss the different factors that contribute to the formation of such families, along with its consequences in today’s society.

partners of people who suffer from alcohol or drug abuse problems. Now it is a term used to

Another point for Peck is that love is not dependency. He defines dependency as “the inability to experience wholeness or to function adequately without the certainty that one is being actively cared for by another” (Peck 98). For Peck, people of passive dependency lack self-discipline and cling to withering relationships for the sake of attachment. They spend so much energy in seeking others to love them that they have none to love others. In this, dependency is a form of antilove, is only one-sided, and does not foster growth.

There are many different studies which stress that the degree of human dependency is flexible to certain situations and circumstances. For instance, relying on another person for a feeling of closeness, care, and support when in distress, or establishing stable bonds in which others are perceived as a safe haven that can shield us against many dangers (Salvatore, Carcione & Dimaggio, 2012). Humans display a constant need to establish and maintain dependency bonds, which are connected to the active attachment system. (Bowl by, 1988). Despite these adaptive dependency manifestations, dependency can also be non-adaptive or abnormal. People can overly on others and develop “dependency-fostering“ automatic thoughts such as “I can not do this by myself“, “I can not be alone“ or “I need someone to help me.“ There are four primary elements to dependency, cognitive (powerless and unworthy self vs. powerful and strong others), motivational (constant desire for approval and guidance), affective (displaying distress when having to function solo) and behavioral (developing unhealthy dependencies in order to strengthen ties to others) The psychiatric association has generally labeled such display of unhealthy dependency as “Dependent Personality Disorder“, in which patients express a powerful fear of negative judgment and/or being abandoned by the people they care about, which leads them to an irresistible desire to cling onto others and be submissive, in order to avoid