College Admissions Essay: The Epitome Of Loud

“Where words fail, music speaks”. I’ve been playing the violin since I was three years old, and music has shaped me to the person I am.

Throughout my teenage years, I was the embodiment of the average introvert. The pressure to succeed and become a first generation college student in my family was overwhelming, and the constant battle of not being good enough defeated me. My parents only spoke Spanish, and were unable to help me with my school assignments. As I struggled with my academics silently, my self-consciousness and insecurities grew. The fear of speaking out in public was a lingering shadow that developed more, as I grew older. Being that English was my second language, I had always felt inferior to those who spoke English as their primary language.

A part of my formal education, that has challenged me the most was class debates. While I am fairly skilled in argumentative essays, I always had trouble voicing my arguments as I am an introvert, and in an extremily extroverted society, this was a detriment. I was often pitted against more vocal opponents, who more often than not didn’t have solid arguments, but spoke clearly and confidently, in contrast to my timid soft spoken voice and lack of eyecontact causing my audience to be disinterested. However, as my grades became more dependent on participation in class debates and historical role plays, I began to formulate coping mechanisms to help me use my introvertism as an advantage. One thing I learned is to never try to speak louder than

A few years ago, I struggled when interacting with other people. At family gatherings, I avoided talking to my relatives and my knees shook when I had to give any sort of presentation in school. I have been trying to overcome this for years, starting with when I began volunteering at Sunday school at my church. At first, I felt out of place and awkward around the boisterous young children who I was supposed to be helping. After a few months, however, things started to improve. Now, I enjoy making crafts and singing songs with the preschoolers at church. This, in my eyes, is the function of an organization like National Honor Society. I

Teachers applauded boys for trying, yet cut me off when I spoke and were quick to point out my mistakes in front of the entire class. School didn’t just teach me my ABC’s and how to count to one hundred, it taught me that my words weren’t worth anyone’s time.

I love the quote by Ezra Taft Benson, “Some of the greatest battles will be fought within the silent chambers of your own soul.” That quote rings true to me, and has throughout all my life. When I was young, I suffered from such severe social anxiety that even talking to close relatives was terrifying. The anxiety was so severe that my mother nearly brought me into therapy. But one day, she drew a diagram for me. This diagram had a circle in the center labeled “comfort zone"; it explained that when we push out of our comfort zone, we expand our previously little comfort zone into a greater one. I took this principle to heart at a young age, and started pushing myself socially to expand my comfort zone. Even saying hello was a monumental success

I rarely spoke at a volume that startled people or echoed across the room without my legs shaking. However, the moment came in my middle school 8th grade art class where my inner voice finally spoke out loud at a volume that made people listen to me. It was the day my friend and I were targeted for speaking Spanish in the classroom. A student had commented that we were “wetbacks” and that we should speak English while the class laughed in the background. What surprised me more was my art teacher’s passivity and direction for us to stop speaking Spanish. While I heard these comments before, I could not let it go when the teacher, a figure who I respected as part of the academic institution, had made it okay for others to treat my friend and I in such a manner. I declared to the class that I will not stop speaking Spanish and I turned around to ask the teacher a simple “Why?” I wanted to why she said to stop and why she did not direct her comments at the other students instead. I stepped outside of the classroom and the teacher apologized. While this experience led me to advocate for myself, I still was not at the level where I could advocate for others. It was not until I entered college that I met an English professor that become my mentor and helped me find and refine my

At age of fourteen, I was adopted from Korea to an American family. Adjusting to the new environment was especially very challenging to me because I was a very reserved girl. For a girl like me with such shyness, attending a new school where I had to meet new people every day was beyond my capacity. I often came home from school, having said not a word throughout the day. One day, one of my classmates approached me with a question that left me not only physically but also mentally speechless. “Are you a mute?” He said. Ever since that day, I no longer waited to be approached by others. I challenged myself to take this opportunity to sharpen my communication skills and to become a person with more cheerful personality. My friend helped me learn

Throughout my time in high school, I have experienced so many wonderful opportunities through different volunteering events, but the one volunteering position that I enjoy the most is my Guest Ambassador position at Wake Med Health and Hospitals. My role as Guest Ambassador is to usher visitors around the hospital, give directions, and assist people to and from their destination. I started this service in my sophomore year of high school and have been doing it every week since then. Being a Guest Ambassador has allowed me to meet so many different people, from all walks of life, and I have grown so much because of it. I was very shy and quiet at the beginning of high school, but this experience has forced me to confront my fear, and be more

While I was in ninth grade, I didn't like to share out my opinion and afraid to speak out, and my classmates scoffed at me as an introverted girl. After I involved in a program called Newcomer Club, a club that provides educational information and social events for newcomers, I gained a lot of new friends, and I became more initiative to interact with others. In my Junior year, I decided to challenge myself to avoid others' mock and become a leader in this program to have strong communication and socialization skills and lead my members to a successful pathway.

In present day one of my best friends had noticed that when I’m at home I talk excessively. She and my mom both agree that I say it how it is, I don’t care what people think about my opinion, and I’m very loud. I seem to be a confident person, and for a while that side of me did show up at school, but it was because the training gave me self assurance to feel it’s okay to be yourself. Now that I had to recently stop all that training, it’s harder for me to use my voice to speak up or state my opinion at school. I went back to the shell I tried so hard to get out of and I am aware that the way I articulate my words changes based on the environment. For example, if I’m in a classroom I speak very quietly, I don't participate as much as I used to, and I try to avoid class discussions. I truly think it’s because I’m still very intimidated by the students who used to tease me in elementary school and in past recent years. Since in the past I didn't stand up to those particular students who hurt me, it’s hard for me in present day to read a sentence off the SmartBoard in my English

They pushed me to own my work and give presentations. In this day, there is more emphasis on every person getting a chance to be in the spotlight. My social anxiety causes me to get very nervous about any situation involving other people. I don’t express my opinion because I think everyone else will think it is stupid and laugh at me. It causes me to feel like everyone hates me even if they talk to me or invite me to hang out. It causes me to cry at the drop of a hat for no reason at all. I am a credible speaker on the topic of social anxiety because I sleep, eat, and breathe anxiety. It’s all I’ve ever known and it’s the one thing I wish I could get rid of. To further my credibility while giving my speech, I can use my delivery skills and physical appearance. I will be dressed semi-casual for the speech, so people will be more inclined to listen to me. I can also use pitch, rate, and non-verbal cues to enhance my speech which will help my credibility because I won't sound like a bumbling fool or bore my audience.

The beams of sunlight were poking through the sparse amount of clouds. The sun was just peaking up over rolling hills of Tennessee, I was taking in the panorama. A handful of high school pupils and I were on a bus heading to our next destination on the roster of universities that we were to tour. The bus was teeming with a goulash of diverse individuals. The seats were a very bristly material, that scratched and pricked with every movement. I leaned over to communicate with my companion, Alex, who was sitting across the aisle. I uttered a couple of words when it happened, the moment that had such a profound effect on me. The girl seated in front of me turned around and said,"Shhhhhhh." After that, my other friend Matt added,"Yeah you're being super loud." The feeling hit me like a wave crashing on the shore. I sunk back into my seat in a very sullen matter. After that, I remained nonvocal for a protracted amount of time. That's when the thoughts arose. "What if she doesn't like me?,"What if I'm always too loud?" Feelings of insecurity wouldn't subside. I aimed to be more close-mouthed, and soft spoken so I didn't aggravate or bother anyone. I tried to secure my place in the world as someone who’s only purpose was to please

At that moment, I wondered, what happened to me? In a classroom setting, there are various types of students. The ones who stay silent and doesn’t speak up, the ones who never pay attention, but is rarely caught, the ones who love to participate and make the class known that they are important. Hard to believe, but I was once one of those talkative children who obsessed about getting my thoughts across. However, why did that change? For the past years, I’ve wondered, how did I abruptly change without even noticing?

Being a social butterfly with the difficulty to speak her mind may seem contradictory, however the causes of past experience provide evidence. Main causes for self struggles include my upbringing and insecurities. My upbringing from a Hispanic household had influenced my understanding of adults to be respected and not to question their authority. What my parents said was law, no questions about it. Respect slowly turned to fear as I grew older due to consequences and punishments I received. My insecurities slowly conquered my thoughts at the age of 10, preventing me from speaking to any adult. I felt as if everything I said or did was incorrect, triggering my silence inside and outside the classroom. My silence slowly spiraled my life downwards causing my fear of authority to follow me from middle