College Admissions Essay: Why I Have To Be Perfect

One of the most pivotal lessons of my life, and one that every student needs to learn, is that being perfect is not everything. Perfectionism paralyzed me in school as I focused only on getting the faultless test score or writing nonpareil papers. Depression, due to not surpassing my own expectations, took hold of me, controlling my life for two years, forcing me out of school and into treatment. I had to fight arduously against the forces in my own mind to be able to accept who I am, all flaws included. Now that I have overcome, I wish to share my experiences with others who struggle much like

For seventeen years, I have dutifully fulfilled my role as the Asian stereotype. From a young age, I was instilled with the belief that happiness was procured through achievement and success. Rigidity and structure dictated my every action, and as I grew older, the pressure to distinguish myself from my peers intensified. I felt as though my entire life was pre-determined. And as my disillusionment grew, I became conscious of a startling emptiness. I began to crave a greater purpose.

I was born on September the 7th of 1994 in the San Francisco Bay area, not very far from Silicon Valley. The year I was born President Bill Clinton signed the North American Free Trade agreement with Mexico and Canada which helped to stimulate economic growth about twenty years ago. Living in California made my Dad the open-minded liberal that he is today, and because of his love for discussing politics I was raised listening to him have friendly debates with my very republican grandpa over every economic issue from climate change to healthcare. For about a year and a half after I was born my parents, older brother Daniel, golden retriever sandy, and I all lived in a classic colonial style home just south of Santa Clara Valley. My father was the breadwinner in our family working as an engineer for Portola Packaging. A job he was offered not long after graduation from a small private engineering school in upstate New York called Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute. My mother also worked full time but as a loan underwriter. After being offered a great relocation package by Portola to the east coast my parents quickly decided to pack up our house and move to Pittsburg Pennsylvania. In addition to being closer to our extended families they also believed that raising a family in Pennsylvania was far

Is this damn thing recording or am I talking to myself. Piece of junk, you never know if or when a solar flare is going to erupt and knock out the whole flipping system. Well, let me start by asking, have you ever had one of those days that if it could go wrong, it did? That seems to be how life here is going lately. GOD, if I can only hold out for two more months, I will be home free. My team landed here on August 9, 2304 and has been stationed on this red dusty rock for the better part of three years and my tour is almost up. Any day now I should be getting my new orders and so help me, if I don’t get my first or second choice of duty stations, I just might end up shooting someone. Let me try to clear things up so you will understand just

My life is run by alignment and perfection. Aligning everything on my desk, aligning everything on my computer, aligning everything in my backpack. Perfection in my work, perfection of my personal items, perfection of workout reps at the gym. Alignment and perfection is everything. I can’t stop help it, I just need to perfect and align all of my things. This habit of keeping things organized is so that I can focus on the important things. However, is it more than just a habit? More than a obsession? Is it an addiction to be constantly organized? Yes. I need to have everything aligned to the pixel, to the centimeter, or I can’t let it be. Whether it be using an arrow key or barely tapping the object to get it in line, it must be perfect. Perfection is necessary, perfection is everything, perfection is absolute.

What you see is not always what it is. We learn to perceive what we're looking at, and we get used to how things are supposed to be. I was always fascinated by the illusion pictures that at first glance is strikingly simple to guess what it is, if you give more attention to detail you see another picture in it. What inspired me the most and made me a curious person was how missing one detail can change the whole outlook of the picture – just as missing one aspect from patient’s evaluation can lead to a wrong diagnosis. This taught me the importance of thoroughness in doing anything in my life. My meticulous nature has been an incredible driving force behind who I am

The city of New York is where I reside, mostly when I'm not flying around the world in my elegant, exclusive, exorbitant jet; I'd always mention with a wink. I'm living the dream. Waking up to the warmth of the sun as my alarm, the view of the alluring country from my apartment and Mr. Awares, my butler the man who dresses me... haha okay, I’m not that lazy. Where do I see myself 10 years from where I stand now? A question I could never answer until 10:03pm or was it 10:05pm? Well, who knows, I fell asleep.

If you asked the younger version of myself what failure was it would have included not earning straight A’s or not turning in my homework on time. Little did I know, the meaning of failure is not always as innocent as those days on the playground. The moment I entered junior year, I knew I discovered the world was filled with more diverse forms of what failure meant.

Comparison will steal your joy. Right now, I see many traits in you that I see in myself. Perfectionism is something I see in both of us. I used to think these traits could be a great tool when you work, but then I read The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown and she stated, “Perfectionism is self-destructive simply because there is no such thing as perfect. Perfection is an unattainable goal” (pg. 57). Bug-a-boo, I know this isn’t something that you want to hear, but she is right. There is no such thing as being perfect. As I see you struggle as a nine-year-old to perfectly read that chapter book or make all of the kids like you at school, I just want to hug you and tell you that you are and always have been enough. I once heard in a song, “You’ll always measure up if you compare yourself to you”. You are the only person you need to focus on. I don’t mean the ideal “perfect daughter, sister, friend, student” portrait you try to paint yourself to be. I’m talking about the beautiful girl who loves to dance down the hallway, the girl who leaves her school work scattered around the house, the girl who struggles, the girl who is human. Additionally, keep in mind, comparing yourself to others robs you of the potential YOU were given. And trust me, that potential is

Ever since I have lived, I have always wanted to have the knowledge of truth in my life. A wish unimaginable has been cast upon me for a desire to know the aspects of good and evil through actions and ideas especially theological ideas. Me reading through the night about God gives me a sense of hope and a grin upon my face - especially reminiscing the past events in my life. Walking throughout the day and sleeping through the night, I usually contemplate about these matters. Going to bed every night seems normal because I have adapted to ignoring some of the beauty in Montana, but when I look at the sky, I see that something has orchestrated the heavens and the earth. The starry night, so powerful and yet peaceful, twinkling in my retina of my eye. The snow-capped mountains out of my window being observed out of my bedroom window. The mountainous terrain orchestrates the powerful magnificence of the One who created it.

The way I imagine it, no matter what age or stage you’re at in life, looking toward your future is a daunting task; which is how I currently feel. Sitting in the bedroom of my parent’s house, thinking about the future that lies ahead of me, I’m simply taken back. The days of the calendar come and go, a semester of school ends while another begins; life transpires before you like a Broadway play. But sometimes we have the opportunity to step back, and take a look at our own life and where we stand within it. This moment came to me recently while sitting in class, my professor, speaking of our future, told us to “wrap your soul around it.”

Growing up in a big family of two brothers and six sisters was not easy, and what made it harder was living in a small village that practiced strict cultural and religious traditions. In our village, those practices prevent girls from continuing their education. In fact, most girls are obligated to quit education and to get married after finishing middle school; sometimes, even earlier. Fortunately, my parents, who both did not finish their middle school, gave my sisters and me the option to continue our education on one condition – to be successful in school.

Early in life, I realized that education often determines one's destiny. Being born and raised away from city with a remote and long isolated community, exposed me to the challenges of facing poverty coupled with squandered opportunities for education, health, and happiness. Though struggled to meet days end , my father insisted me along with my three siblings receive education to break this notion. He inculcated in us the compulsion to strive, the talent to prosper and the ability to overcome failure are strongly inherited. Even though confronted the stigma of social status, my parents relinquished us with every possible comfort in the defiance of material paucity........I fear I never noticed those tears melted away with water dropping

The purpose of education to me is freedom and have a happy, comfortable life. I was told by whole family that with education can help you to be anyone and go anywhere. It was also support by one of the most influential chiefs of the Navajo people, Chief Manuelito who said, “Grandchildren education is the ladder.” Every time I hear that quote, I understood that education is a tool to get you a good life or to go somewhere. My family wasn’t wealthy and struggle with the bills and my parent told me if they completed or went to college they will be living a more comfortable life. In my opinion, they taught me to be grateful of the things they gave me and to understand that I can’t have everything I wanted. With their support, my sister and I was determined to get good grades and work hard with our school work. Even in college I will keep that determination that I had in high school. So, I can get that diploma and start living a comfortable life or still pursue a higher degree.

Every time I close my eyes and take a deep breath, I can hear the repetitious honking of the taxi drivers, fed up with the incessant New York traffic. I can feel the soft wind blowing through the tallest trees in Central Park, lightly blowing my hair in every direction. I can smell the grease from innumerable hotdog carts, strolling their way up and down 85th Street, desperate for business. I can see the blinking traffic lights, and the countless men, women and children, all looking like they belong in New York. I wanted to be like them. I can remember everything, from the stickers on the crosswalk signs, to the name of the cluttered antique shop. I see all of these things as if they were scenes from my favorite movie. The vacation I took to New York City, the summer before I started high school, has changed my life forever.