Conflicts are a part of every relationship. Everyone has a different style to deal with these conflicts. Competing, Avoiding, Accommodating, Collaborating, and Comprising all have consequences. Completing uses an I win, you lose outlook on conflict. It is associated with a shark. A person with this conflict style doesn't often think about the other person's feelings. I take this approach far more than I should. When arguing with my friends I don’t consider their feelings as much as I should. In the end I make the other person even more upset and solve nothing. DeVito says “... The fact the you win and the other person loses probably means that the conflict hasn't really been resolved but has only been concluded (for now). (269) My life reflects this idea. I get in arguments over the same things often. Now that I have recognized this I am trying harder to fix it. Avoiding uses an I lose, you lose outlook on conflict. It is associated with a turtle. Just as turtles tuck into their shells to stay out of harm's way, people who avoid conflict don't resolve it, but leave it to lester. Conflicts must be solved at some point to maintain a healthy relationship. DeVito uses the example, “If a couple can't agree …show more content…
It is associated with a fox. No one's needs are fully met. Just like a fox this person is known to give a little to gain a little. This results in both parties being displeased. DeVito explains “There will be a residue of dissatisfaction over the inevitable losses that each side has to endure.” (270) People with this conflict style may unknowingly see it as ideal when in all reality it may cause the most harm. You think that this is the way it must be to keep everyone happy when you're probably overlooking a better solution where everyone wins. The compromising style, like most conflict styles works for short term use but over time may cause more conflict or for the same conflict to be dealt with
Conflict is inevitable in any personal relationship or among members of any group. While we encounter many types of conflict in our lifetime, we often look for ways to avoid conflict. So, why do we run away from dealing with our conflict? It is often because many of us fear the conflict will escalate into a situation we will not be able to sustain. “As conflicts escalate, they go through certain incremental transformations. Although these transformations occur separately on each side, they affect the conflict as a whole because they are usually mirrored by the other side. As a result of these transformations, the conflict is intensified in ways that are sometimes exceedingly difficult to undo” (Pruitt, and Kim 89). We
Whether we like it or not, conflict is a part of everyday lives. It can happen to anyone, from your friends to your family.
When dealing with Conflict as stated on page 96 in the text, this is a huge problem for me. I avoid conflict at all cost first. I would rather be the mediator and defuse a situation before conflict
Although sometimes useful to break from the conflict to cool off, it tends to be destructive. As a forceful way to avoid conflict, it is active
Conflict gets a bad rap. We automatically assume that conflict will collapse a relationship. Some of us avoid conflict like the plague, thinking that if we close our eyes to a potential clash, it doesn’t exist.
The three factors selected as identifiers (dominance, avoidance, and compromise) were chosen because they make up the majority of individual conflict styles and they categorically encompass a number of goal-driven behaviors found in a conflict at varying degrees. However, it’s important to note that all three of these behaviors can have both positive and negative consequences in the context of the conflict in the same way that “both avoidance and engagement are workable options in different circumstances” (Hocker & Wilmot, 2014, p. 150).
My test results for the Thomas-Kilmann Test weren’t too surprising. Naturally, I tend to avoid conflict, which was reflected by my highest score in the avoider category. I had a close second in the collaborating, and a tie in accommodating and compromising. In the competing category, however, I only ended up with one tally. These results strongly reflect my feelings on conflict. If at all possible, I prefer to avoid conflict, but I am not ignorant to the fact that conflict always exists and must be addressed when it’s present in a relationship or a situation. I would disagree, however, that the test describes avoidance with conflict as a “win/lose” assumption. I don’t like conflict because I usually associate it with negative emotions (but not always), however, I
Those with very strong convictions about what is wrong and what is right cringe at the thought of compromise. It means they lost. But did they? Conflict management from the biblical worldview involves compassion and empathy much more than it involves “winning.” As Nancy Ortberg wrote in her book, Unleashing the Power of Rubber Bands, there is a great need to identify the difference between “a tension to be managed and a problem to be solved,” (pg. 71). Think about the last conflict you had with a teacher, staff member, fellow parent, or even a family member. How did that go? Did it end in frustration? Did it result in continued confusion and thoughts of, “Okay, so what now?” Were you just trying to be
Using compromise to settle a conflict or dispute may not have the outcome you was hoping for but its better to get some of what you want then nothing at all. Meeting in the middle of a compromise can eliminate conflict instead of creating it. Sometimes it can seem like you are loosing the battle when you beside to compromise but you are not you are simply trying to avoid conflict. It is better to meet in the middle when compromising to avoid conflict instead of creating it. It might feel like you are loosing sometimes but like I say “it is what it is” why argue and create unnecessary conflict. Not everyone is the same nor perfect so focusing on what you achieved while compromising is better then dwelling over what you may have had to give up. Feeling like you accomplished something feels good and gives you a since of satisfaction and acceptance.
The Collaborating tactic may be used when your whole objective on the conflict is to learn. Also it is a good idea to use the Collaborating tactic when you want to work through feeling that have interfered with the relationship with the other person in the conflict. Competing tactic is excellent when you want to cut the through all of the non sense and get to a resolution of the conflict quickly. When quick decisive resolutions are very important, or when people attempt to disagree with you and your right without a doubt. The last tactic that Rahim and Magner talk about is the Compromising tactic. This is good for when, goals are important to you but they are not worth all the trouble they may cause. To achieve rather quick and easy resolutions to rather complex disagreements
One of my dominant conflict handling styles was the avoiding style. This means that I avoid conflict rather than address the problem at hand, in addition to downplaying the severity of the problem all together. I had problems with my roommate freshman year, and we did not get along very well. There were several instances where his choices affected my living situation, and I did not feel comfortable being in the room. Instead of communicating these concerns to him, I just suppressed them and vented to my friends and family about the problem. I usually just got over the problem and we ended up cohabitating and leaving on good terms at the end of the year.
After taking the conflict quiz, my scores were almost equally distributed over all five conflict styles. However, the one that got the most points was competing with high 8 scores, following collaborating and compromising 6 and 6, the avoiding and accommodating 5 and 5. According to Beebe and Motte, competitor is “someone who manages conflict by being assertive and pushing ideas and solutions on others.”
Conflicts are more common than not in this day and age. You can have a conflict in a work or school environment over anything. In order to fix most conflicts there has to be an open communication. Lack of communication can cause more problems than fix them.
“Compromising is agreeing with the other party that each will give up something of value to reach an accord” (Langton et al., 2013, p.329) I am a very open minded person. I would be willing to give up something in order to reach a certain goal. When many people want to reach certain goal but there is conflict, I believe that the best way to solve this is if each individual gives up something in order to reach the goal. “This style does not pursue an all or nothing approach; rather, it is based on a give and take attitude” (Lin et al., 2016, p.43).
The results of conflict can be absolutely horrendous as depicted in the media everyday, but disagreement is not generically a negative experience. Compromise between opposing parties is needed to resolve conflict, as Wayne Dyer espoused “Conflict cannot survive without your participation” this presents a relevant adage toward resolving conflict. Conflict can show itself in an abundance of different ways, I believe that conflict shows itself as an ever burning fire that will lurk around disagreements to fuel itself into becoming a feral a brute that seeks to harm. The protagonists in the texts Every Man In This Village Is a Liar and the Life of Galileo all showed compromise to avoid conflicting disputes.