In order to resolve a conflict i would show I was using careful listening skills and have a calm tactful approach towards that person that offers a compromise that both sides can accept.
the majority of your experiences. It is also the way you maintain your composure and contain your emotions
A person can say the right things, at the right time, and to the right person, based on Susan Silk and Barry Goldman’s essay, “How Not to Say the Wrong Thing.” Susan developed a Kvetching Order to guide people’s choice of statements to different people. The principle is simple: Avoid dumping into the center ring and any ring smaller than one's own (Silk and Goldman para. 14). I like how the authors used a figure to demonstrate the process of showing empathy because it is both visual and sensible.
During this week’s assignment, Peterson (2015) tackles critical components of listening skills. The listening component that I find myself needing to work on is that of not defending what I perceive as attacks against my character during my interactions both with co-workers and family. Naturally, if I am devoting my thoughts to responding or defending my actions, how can I be effectively listening? In addition, when counteracting a statement with a defensive posture or verbal cues, it insights the other individual to feel attacked, resulting in a vicious cycle of both parties being defensive and no one listening or understanding one another (Peterson, 2015).
Connections, connections. Improving my self-care of the mind and emotions proceeds mastery of communication skills. Being tough on myself the therapist reassures she will help to remedy.
My husband and I are both two very defensive people always struggling to get our point of view across. We communicated just like to attorneys in a court room trying to win, as he described in his group. Instead of listening and trying to understand what each other is feeling we jump right into our own emotions.
Throughout the book, Dr. Gary Smalley addresses many important aspects that help maintain a healthy relationship. One of these is to understand what a person is attempting to express by tapping into their emotions rather than only listening to their words (113). Effective communication comes from understanding what a person is feeling in their heart. This in turn means, in order to comprehend their meaning, it is necessary to listen with the heart, not the head. For years I have heard that actions speak more loudly than words, and I believe this concept expresses the meaning of this statement perfectly. However, with that being said, I still have difficulty accomplishing this since my personality leads me to think more logically and analytically.
Communication is a very important skill for everyone to have. An equally important skill that I think gets overlooked a lot of the time is the non-verbal communication. As a helper who is focusing on the family as a whole, you will need to be able to read and understand non-verbal quos and positioning, but you will need to be able to use them well. To be affective, you need to try to help the family as a whole understand non-verbal communication. Be aware of the setting, your position in consideration to the client(s), physical distance, posture, gestures, eye contact, facial expression, and other things that your client could take one way or the other. Be aware also that silence is a non-verbal skill and use it as a listening skill. Non-verbal communication may sprout some other forms of communication that can get things that may
During class I learned there are certain steps to take to solve a conflict and I had tried using them with my friend and they worked perfectly. Even though I was thinking about them and it didn’t come nature with time it will eventually become natural. Some of the steps were to simply just breath. Breathing before I gave feedback made me have a few extra seconds to process what was going on. Another step was to avoid using personal attacks, name calling and emotional overstatement. Now whith that step I thought I never did this but after analyzing myself I had learned a new thing about myself that if I felt as if I was under attack I would lash out and find anything personal that I could potentially use against them to hurt how they felt I would. With arguments with family members it seemed to be the only way to have them stop
This skill stemmed from living with my disabled uncle and my 90 year old grandma.Over the years I began assisting people I did not know and we would begin to talk. Most of the conversations were light, but occasionally, there would be times where we would talk for more than 10 minutes. I loved it. I loved talking to different people and getting their different viewpoints. I loved when people would open up to me about their issues and we would talk things out and compromise on a solution. I loved the friendly and non-judgemental environment that I created with people where anything could be shared.
From an early age, one learns how to communicate with others by engaging in his or her own personal development. These interpersonal styles become valuable to an individual. For instance, one learns from his or her parents how to exercise manners. Over the years, I have acquired interpersonal skills from my family, education, and employment that has proven to be quite beneficial. However, as a human, being perfect is quite difficult. Despite, the strengths that one may possess, weaknesses are also present.
The skill I am going to discuss is self- monitoring. According to Interplay, The Process of Interpersonal Communication, self monitoring is best defined as, “The process of paying close attention to one’s own behavior and using these observations to shape the way one behaves” (24). This definition means that when you have a conversation with someone you listen closely to what they are saying, but you also pay attention to yourself in order for you to modify your behavior accordingly. By being aware of the way I communicate towards people both, verbally, and non-verbally gives me an effective way to deliver an understanding message.
At home, with my husband, any conflict we have, I know needs to be addressed and addressed in a way where I am confronting him immediately and being completely honest. I can use the words I wish to use as they come to me and can say exactly what I am feeling without sugar coating it. At work, with my coworkers, any conflict that occurs, I must strategically think about how to address the conflict, when to address it and the process that will occur after addressing the conflict.
I personally, have to first accept that I too am not perfect; my past and current methods of communication and listening skills have not worked, and I need to be more open in order to welcome change. One important step that can be made involves common courtesy; do not speak when someone else is speaking! This is something that was taught during early stages of development, yet it is often ignored during adulthood because of a false sense of entitlement that ones’ opinions are more important, and that is not true. As Petersen (2007) has stated throughout his book, there is often a sense of urgency or a need to solve problems or interject solution even when it is not required or asked. The idea that another person may only be seeking a listening ear is bypassed completely. Moving forward, I think it is essential that I create my own TLC (talker-listener card) that I can take with me and use as a stepping stone to changing my flawed listening and communication skills. Because I am a visual learner, this will work perfectly in helping me stay focus on my role in the conversation. Whenever I feel the need to interject my opinions, I can look down at the card and acknowledge if it is my turn to speak and even if it is remember what my duties are; if the problem was not mines to begin with then my job is not to solve it but rather be an effective listener in order to help the other person develop their own
Not to make them change, but to think about the way you handle a conflict.