Constructing Romantic Relationships

The attachment style that an individual exhibits as an infant can affect their adult romantic relationships. An attachment pattern is established in early childhood attachments and continues to function as a working model for relationships in adulthood. This model of attachment influences how each of us reacts to our needs and how we go about getting them met. The ability to recognize one 's attachment can help someone to understand their strengths and vulnerabilities in a relationship.

Those with insecure attachments tend to have lower relationship satisfaction compared to those who are securely attached. Those who have a secure attachment style provide a caregiving role, their behaviors are responsive and sensitive, non-controlling and show interest during interactions. Secures are affectionate with touch, enjoy physical contact (intimate & sexual) and are willing to ask for support. Individuals with an insecure anxious attachment are more self-focused and always looking for approval and support from their partner regardless of low and high stress situations. Anxious attachment individuals are also over caring and hyper vigilant. Lastly, individuals with an avoidant attachment value independence and have low levels of self-disclosure. Avoidant individuals are less likely to use touch to express affection and are uncomfortable with intimate sexual contact. In short, being aware of your attachment style and your partners can shed light on marital conflict and possible solutions and corrective behaviors to better marital

Each attachment style is divided along two dimensions – the fear of abandonment and the fear of closeness. Bartholomew and Horowitz define fear of abandonment as the model of self which describes the belief of an individual to be either “worthy of love and support or not” (1991). They also define fear of closeness as the model of other which describes an individual’s

Individual attachment style and its effects on adult romantic relationships were examined. The hypothesis of this literature review was that insecure attachment style would negatively affect the overall dynamic of adult romantic relationships while secure attachment would promote positive and healthy romantic relationships. Empirical studies looking at attachment style and relationship issues such as one’s views of self and others, communication, sexual intimacy, childhood family dynamic and God were evaluated. Reviews of studies were in line with the hypothesis indicating that insecure attachment does negatively affect the overall dynamic of romantic

Brennan, Kelly A., Clark, Catherine L., & Shaver, Phillip, R. (1998). Self-report measurement of adult attachment: An integrated overview. In J. A. Simpson & W. S. Rholes (Eds.), Attachment theory and close relationships (46-76). New York, NY: Guilford Press.

Hazan and Shaver (1987) aimed to investigate whether they could classify the responders’ love relationships as secure, ambivalent, and avoidant, whether there was a correlation between the formed attachment pattern from childhood and attachment pattern during the love relationships, and whether there was a correlation between the distribution of childhood attachment patterns and adult love relationships’ attachment patterns.

Three predominant styles of attachment, secure, insecure-anxious and insecure-avoidant reflect expectations about the reliability and availability of attachment figures (Hazan & Shaver, 1987). Individuals who portray secure attachment styles tend to value relationships that provide trust, comfort, and availability. In contrast, individuals with insecure-avoidant or insecure-anxious styles of attachment have difficulty recognizing, acknowledging, and/or valuing secure-based relationships. Avoidant individuals experience discomfort when becoming close with others. In contrast, insecure-anxious individuals report relationships as a threat,

Girme, Overall, Simpson & Fletcher (2015) has proven that they respond negatively when given support by their partner and, Feeney and Noller (1990) report that they express mistrust of others during their life. Feeney and Noller (1990) had an experiment that measured subjects scores based on their response to the background questions about their love experiences on Ludus, Loving and Romantic Love Ideals scales, and the Avoidance of Intimacy scale. The results were high on Ludus and low on the Loving and Romantic Love Ideal scales and the Avoidance of Intimacy scale for the avoidant subjects (Feeney and Noller, 1990). The results for the avoidant subjects differed than those that were secure and anxious-ambivalent groups as the Unfulfilled Hopes, Self-Conscious Anxiety, Avoidance of Intimacy, and Personal and Social Self-esteem of the avoidant subjects were the important features that were determined (Feeney and Noller, 1990). The secure subjects were high in self-confidence and were trusting in their relationships however, the anxious-ambivalent subjects were dependent and had a strong desire for commitment in their relationships, their response to love was neurotic rather than companionate (Feeney and Noller, 1990).

This resource will apply the definitions of the differing insecure attachment styles. The insight will be shared of how individuals with insecure attachment may be less likely to be involved in supportive partner relationships (Borhani, 2013). Borhani’s research study will support these findings.

Early childhood secure attachment could affect adult relationship in many positive ways. Many research suggested that individuals who experienced security during childhood, had exemplar parents who took attachment as an important part of their relationship during their child’s development is very likely to determine the onset of relationship during adulthood with more satisfaction and partner matching. (Brennan & Shaver, 1995). Secure attachment is known for promoting confidence and self-security within the person been raised in the environment that prepares them for later life relationship with other adults. The emerging adult would have matured and learned to understand the dynamic of what a relationship should be and is assumed that he or she has the capability to tolerate the challenges that such relationship will encounter. Some studies show that those adults who encountered secure attachment during their childhood can display appropriate relationship and friendship engagement because they have developed the ability to regulate their feeling and emotions which helps them tolerate frustrations or disappointment that may arise from the relationship. (Boyd,

Hypothesis one predicted that spouse’s insecure attachment and relationship quality would be negatively correlated. Significant partner effects were found, indicating that one spouse’s insecure attachment was negatively correlated with the other spouse’s low relationship quality. Results were also in accordance with hypothesis two which predicted that one spouse’s insecure attachment would elicit lower interpersonal trust, and consequently poorer relationship quality for both spouses. Results also supported hypothesis three which predicted indirect effects of attachment orientation on partner's loneliness via relationship quality. One spouse’s insecure attachment lead to poorer relationship quality, and thus greater loneliness, for both

Secure attachment. If a child experiences secure, sensitive, and consistent care, reflected in their adult relationships, these will be characterized by reciprocal and empathetic sexual relations associated with affection for their partner and a desire to please them. In these cases, the securely attached individual looks to be happy with his/her sexuality and thus undergoes relatively low levels of fear of love and guilt and shows low levels of needing to be sexual with several different partners (Toates 278). In short, securely attached people display healthy relationship traits and report positive relational interactions.

We will be exploring the different styles of attachment, how parenting affects attachment style and in turn how it affects our love lives as adults. Built by close relationships, attachment can vary from one relationship to another, depending on how available that person is especially during infancy and childhood. As adults, we react to situations based on our attachment style, which is ingrained but not unchangeable. This not only affects our relationships with prospective partners but everyone we hold close throughout our lives. Attachment is an immensely valuable tool in the world of psychology, with it you can better understand how behavior is influenced by experience.

Once appearing in a relationship, individuals tend to notice the innate habits, thoughts, and behaviors of their partners on a more intimate level. These innate patterns depict the individual’s attachment styles, or the “global orientations toward relationships” (14). These attachment styles – secure, preoccupied, fearful, and dismissing – surface during childhood, and preserve the propensity to affect our future relationships in society. According to the online quiz, I sustain a secure attachment style, meaning I uphold both a low avoidance of intimacy and low anxiety about abandonment. While these four categories of attachment styles cultivate in infancy, I believe my nurturing only promoted my attachment style to a certain degree. I established receptive care and safeguard from my mother throughout my childhood and adolescence, but my father marginalized me at a young age. Due to my parent’s divorce and mistreatment towards one another in my toddler years, this disturbed my attachment style. I did not desire the relationship my parents sustained, as it pervaded with negativity, hostility, and anger. Due to my biological father’s care, I acquired a more anxious-ambivalent style towards men, but it altered when my stepfather inputted into my family. My mother and stepfather provided, protected, and supported every aspect of my life, and continue to maintain a positive relationship with my to this day. Their care guides me to pursue healthy, committed relationships built on

Our style of attachment affects our relationships with others and influences who we choose as mates. There are three types of attachment styles: secure, avoidant, and anxious. A secure attachment is the healthiest type in which an individual received the proper love and attention during childhood. Individuals with the attachment style are the most satisfied with their relationships. Anxious attachment is unhealthy. Typically, this style needs to be around their partner constantly, as they believe this will meet all their needs. Finally, an avoidant attachment, an unhealthy style, is someone who is isolated and hard to connect with because they feel the only way to get their needs met is to pretend that they have none. They typically choose