Couples Should Not Cohabitate If Looking For Marriage

Cohabitation is unstable because it tends to be short lived. Stott uses research studies to show that unmarried couples living together are less stable than their married counterparts. After ten years together the likelihood of a first marriage breaking up is 33%, compared to 66% for unmarried cohabitants. People argue that livening together before marriage is like a trial period and it helps make relationships even stronger. However Stott points out that this is not true, in fact couples who cohabit before marriage are 50% more likely to divorce within five years than those who did not cohabit. He also points to a study that shows alcoholism, depression, and general mental illness are more prevalent among those who cohabit. Stott’s second argument against cohabitation is that it is informal. Marriage includes vows, a binding pledge of two peoples never ending love and commitment to one another. Cohabitation requires no such commitment which leaves the couple on un-solid ground. Stott says, “in the case of cohabitation, the relationship is ambiguous and the degrees of commitment between the two people may be unequal”. The inadequacy of cohabitation is Stott’s third argument against living together before marriage. Cohabitation is inadequate because it is not a public commitment of a couples mutual love and respect for one another. I agree with Stott’s assertion that “a couples commitment needs to be public as well as permeant, and the role of the family, the law, and the church make the difference between marriage and cohabitation”. Stott used very well reasoned arguments to show that cohabitation is wrong. I agree with all of his points and I too believe it is wrong to cohabit before marriage. God does not set rules to take the fun out of life, he sets them to protect us and make our lives better. We need to respect his

Should we consider moving in before getting married? In the New York Times Magazine, the article The Downside of Cohabiting before Marriage states that “In 1960, about 450,000 unmarried couples lived together. Now the number is more than 7.5 million. The majority of young adults in their 20s will live with a romantic partner at least once, and more than half of all marriages will be preceded by cohabitation”. (1) Considering moving in with your partner before marriage you will get to know each other a lot better. The Census Bureau reports that over 40-50 percent of married couples in the United States end in divorce. When couples live with their partner prior to marriage, the responsibility is now of two instead of one. Splitting things like bills and rents has never been so easier. Moving is a huge step in a relationships. Two people are essentially committing loyalty to one another as they move in together. Living together is a better option prior to getting married.

Moreover, when the two cohabitate, they have the opportunity to learn each other 's habits before they say ‘I do’. In the process, the partners test their relationship and also presumably prevent divorce in the future. The median duration of cohabitation is 1.3 years and research has shown that 40 percent of the cohabiting partners break up and this occurs after testing the relationship if good or bad (Alvare, 2012).

According to Dalton Conley, cohabitation is the “living together in an intimate relationship without formal, legal, or religious sanctioning”(Conley 458). From this, one can assume that cohabitation happens primarily between two people that are in a relationship. When looking at cohabitation within the United States, it has become more evident that it is slowly increasing in popularity. During the early ages, cohabitation was considered very scandalous and was frowned upon, but as the years progress, more and more couples start living together. Whether it is to experience the lifestyle they would have living together as if they were married or living together in order to save money, more and more people are living with their significant other.

It is said that every two marriages end in divorce. Even though this estimate seems to be pretty high, there is no question that in today’s society the biggest cause of divorce is people getting married way too soon. The question is “Should Couples Live Together before Marriage?” Some may agree that it is a good idea to cohabitating before marriage but some may not. Their decision may be based on their parents’ standards and strong belief background. From personal experience, couples (those who are actually planning to start a life together) should live together before marriage. For many reasons: to see how your spouse lives, it helps finically, and it is practice before the real thing. You always want to know you are ready before you need up with someone you are not compatible with.

Expectations at this point in a relationship often differ, and as Linda Waite reports, even if one partner expects the relationship to be permanent, the other often does not (2000). With differing expectations, lack of communication understandably leads to misunderstandings and eventually arguments. The negative atmosphere fostered in a cohabitation relationship not only comes from lower levels of communication, but also confusion over roles in the relationship such as finances and household chores. Unlike a marriage relationship, cohabiting couples have no assurance that their partner will be around indefinitely. Because of this, these couples often carry out their tasks individually instead of dividing the work, resulting in two people getting in each other’s way and general disorder in the relationship.

Over the past few decades, cohabitation has become more recent for couples and families. Cohabitation is when a couple who is not married is living under the same roof as if they are married. It does not refer to roommates or family members who live together, at least two people have to be in a romantic union for it to count as cohabitation. Cohabiting can be for a variety of different reasons. In the 1990s, around 2.5 million people were cohabiting but as of 2015 about 8.3 million people were cohabiting. (Cherlin 2004) Pamela Smock (2000) argues that cohabitation has increased tremendously over the past but it is short lived by couples either breaking the relationship off or proceeding to get married.

Many singles believe that by practicing marriage they will receive the commitment they desire. With this in mind, they move in together intending to tie the knot eventually. Time passes and the couple rarely talks seriously about finalizing the commitment. And so, they often end up cohabiting for a few years until eventually someone gets tired of waiting and leaves. Cohabitation can suppress the development of a higher level of commitment. Sometimes, one or both of the people involved become complacent in the relationship, and without any pressure to move forward, they won't. As social psychologist Dr. Julia Hare puts it, "Why would you go to the store to buy some milk with the cow standing in the living room?" (qtd. "Why...Marriage?" 53). Certainly, to call a marriage successful, it must actually take place.

In the past century Cohabitation has become common and is one of the most significant shifts in the family demographics. An estimated 50 to 60 percent couples are living together before marriage in United States. Also accoding to studies published

In our family it’s discussed that we should not live with our couple before we get married, because of our parent’s cultural belief. So the option of living with someone before marriage is off the table. Even though these are my parent’s belief, I do believe a couple should live together before they are married. I have known by my friends’ with marriage experience that did not live together before marriage, said that their first year of marriage was difficult. They had trouble adjusting to each other routines and moods; they both differed in different aspects. They were afraid they had committed a mistake and were also afraid of the unknown. Living together can reassure a lifelong commitment. Couple should live together before marriage, this way they can become

Back then, I thought that didn’t make any sense and wouldn’t you want to be with them to see if you can live with them? However, reading Does Cohabitation Result in Marriages That Last, I was very interested in the cohabitation effect. I didn’t think that because of all the cohabitation experiences, it would make marriage low and divorce high. The cause of it being cohabitants are willing to violate social norms. That makes sense because in my mind it’s like when you give in too easy and you just don’t want it anymore, but if you restrain yourself, you want to keep going for it. I’m not sure if this would be a good example or an example at all, but sort of like sex before marriage. However, some researchers also said that it’s not cohabitation, but the age at which you live together which I believe could also be a factor because sometimes people are too quick and live in the moment and don’t really think about it. Overall, marriage is a huge commitment that you have to think

Cohabitating with your significant other is not out of the ordinary for today’s standards, and more and more seem to take on this trend instead of marrying. Why rush into something permanent like marriage, when living together is like a test trial for the future? More adults are choosing to cohabitate and have children rather then get married. Studies show a rising number that moving in with your partner, and having children before marriage is not uncommon. Cohabiators like myself say marriage is a piece of paper, and residing with a partner is not uncommon to show serious commitment.

Bruce Wydick argued that, “cohabitation may be narrowly defined as an intimate sexual union between two unmarried partners who share the same living quarter for a sustained period of time’’ (2). In other words, people who want to experience what being in a relationship truly is, tend to live under one roof and be more familiar with one-another. Couples are on the right path to set a committed relationship where the discussion about marriage is considered as the next step. However, many people doubt the fact as to live or not together with their future

In other words, you may initially be “giddy” with excitement at the thought of living together, spending all of your time together and getting to know one another’s preferences, habits, pet peeves, likes and/or dislikes, etc., but over time you may start to feel smothered, neglected, irritated, etc. Moreover, you may tell yourself that cohabitating will give you a glance of what to expect when you are officially married, but in reality, for some, it may lead to heartbreak and a broken engagement. Once the initial “honeymoon period” is over you may start to notice things about one another that you never noticed before (because you did not live together). For instance, you may not like the way your partner leaves his/her dirty clothes around the house or your partner may not like the way you always have to have everything your way. Although these may seem like small differences, over time they may add up and cause distress in relationship.

For today’s young adults, the first generation to come of age during the divorce revolution, living together seems like a good way to achieve some of the benefits of marriage and avoid the risk of divorce. Couples who live together can share expenses and learn more about each other. They can find out if their partner has what it takes to be married. If things don’t work out, breaking up is easy to do. Cohabiting couples do not have to seek