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Creative Writing: Death At A Funeral

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when i was ten, on my first generation ipod notes, i kept a list of things to do if i died

i asked that vanilla twilight play at my funeral, sour patch kids and cherries served at the reception and no open casket - i always thought it was too morbid and my face would be even paler than it is now so i’d be more a ghost than a body,

and i didn’t want my family to mourn me. i had a plan to haunt my mother so it would be like i wasn't even gone my non-physical body still managing to eat all the brownies she baked, in my record-time -- less than ten minutes

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later, i wasn’t a child. my toes grew out and my skin became a shade more like winter frosted hands met warmer people, friends even, and i forgot about …show more content…

we sat under clouds with our skin burning from styrofoam heat spoke about our affection for red-soaked leaves and autumn paradoxes -- we had this in common, so i needed myself to adore you and you needed to not adore boys that made your eyelashes a field of strawberries

steamed-over evening swim pools, our laugh was a wind in five mile workouts i forced smiles at you so much that i didn’t notice how you looked at grass-stained, chlorine-bleached boys and you laughed so much you didn’t notice how i looked at fruit-eyed, sun-stained girls

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in sleet and flurries resistant affection and open secrets bloomed i spilled my adoration for girls on you and our breath was relief friends: planned hugs and half-meant kisses. outside our teenage hearts merged but indoors we joked about being metaphorical rainbows, sobbed over crushes on straight teammates and how your family would leave you on dandelion street lines if they knew and we were the same but in different ways so i didn't see the small slits on your thigh, we laughed at butterfly sets every morning with crazy, wide eyes, but you never told me how much you despised yourself or that you wanted to fall asleep in a twin-sized bed and not wake up so when you left me a suicide note with an old blue ipod, my whole body was pins and needles and numb tears, i remembered death and it felt like either nothing or cold

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