Critical Analysis Essay example

666 WordsNov 2, 20113 Pages
Leah Baker English Comp 1210 Critical Analysis September 28, 2011 Critical Analysis of an Ineffective Essay Author, Harriet Davids, of “The Extended School Day” believes all elementary schools should adopt an extended school day policy. Davids main ideas focus on the safety of the children, whether it be in the care of a nanny or home alone, safety is the number one priority. Davids not only states that an extended school day will be beneficial to the parents and the students, but also the teachers and staff involved in the after school programs. In an affective essay there are seven essential elements that must be followed to skillfully create a forceful essay. Unfortunately, Davids lacks many of these elements in the entitled…show more content…
Adding a sentence such as that connects the paragraphs creating much needed flow. Unfortunately unity and coherence aren’t the only elements wrong with Davids’ sentences. One of the most important components of an effective essay is effective sentences. Effective sentences are defined as complete thoughts. They should not consist of run on or incomplete sentences, poor grammar or incomplete thoughts. Effective sentences allow the reader to focus on the essay topic and understand the point of view instead of getting lost in the long sentences. Davids makes many careless errors when developing her sentences, many of them being fragments. As an author, Davids should automatically know not to start a new sentence with and, which she does several times throughout. Instead of using ‘and’ Davids could have created compound sentences. Davids word choice also takes a toile on the effectiveness of the essay. Using words such as ‘they’ repeatedly (in paragraph two) makes for a chaotic ineffective essay. Finally, a conclusion paragraphs function is to summarize the main points of the essay. Davids, instead, chooses this time to add another point to her persuasion, talking about the great expenses of an extended school day. She chose not to summarize the original ideas what so ever, leaving the reader only to guess that the essay was over. If it wasn’t for the fact that it was the last paragraph published, the reader would have never been able to label it as the
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