Deborah Tannen Communication And Marriage Summary

Deborah Tannen and William Lutz both discuss the difficulty of communicating. Their point of views may be different, but their conclusion is the same. Men and women have difficulties of communicating. Not because the two genders want to be complicated but simply because we don’t realize how or what we’re doing when it’s happening.

To a certain extent, I agree with Tannen's with shes see’s and feels that is true. Overall women talk about there problems way more then men do. Deborah Tannen states, “Once the problem is understood, improvements come naturally” and I agree with what she is saying. She backs up this statement by showing and explaining how a college couple solved the difficult problems they were having by just having the boyfriend sit up straight instead of lying down and actually look at the women without being distracted while she is speaking. Women and men have very different impressions of communication aseptically on certain levels. Tannen states that , "Intimacy is the fabric of relationships, and talk is the thread from which it is woven” but then,

Deborah Tannen’s case study entitled “Can’t We Talk?” is the most relevant reading that I have ever done for any class. It relates to a problem that every person regardless of age, race or sex, will have to face many times in his or her lifetime. The problem is that men and women communicate differently and these differences can often lead to conflict. This case study is very informative because it helps to clarify the thought process of each sex. That said this reading leaves the reader somewhat unfulfilled because Tannen does not offer a solution to the problem.

In “Sex, Lies and Conversation” Deborah Tannen argues that the problems of men and women in marriage are caused by a misunderstanding rather than lack of communication. Throughout the passage she discusses theses misunderstandings and reveals the solution to the problem.

The articles “Sex, Lies and Conversation: Why is it Hard for Men and Women to Talk to each other” by Deborah Tannen and “Speaking Different Languages” by John Gray are about how men and women often misunderstand each other which causes conflicts and or arguments. When a woman says something it usually has a deeper meaning, but men are usually more direct when speaking; this leads to conflicts and relationship problems. According to Tannen and Gray, men and women can adjust their thinking to minimize misunderstanding by translating each other’s dialect, by understanding their different ways of listening, and different body languages.

In the essay Sex, Lies, and Conversation Deborah Tannen focuses on the differences and lack of communication between men and women though observations. She came to the conclusion that men were not lacking in their listening, but they were however listening in a different way than the women did. On the other hand, men aren’t the only people that have terrible communication skills. In many ways, these differences between the two genders can cause major conflict when not understood by the opposite side. A few examples of lack of communication may be when women don’t decide where they would like to eat, men who walk away from an argument rather than talking it out, and their decision making processes.

Poorly communication skill would negatively affect a relationship that has been possessed by several fouls, as well as Katherine Ames in “The Astronomer's Wife,” and Jig in “Hills Like White Elephants.” In both stories, Katherine and Jig experienced an awful circumstance where the male characters were really careless about the female protagonists. Not only that, Katherine and Jig also shared a similar issue which they could not communicate with their partners properly, and that was the most important thing in all relationships. However, Jig's characteristic showed that she was more expressive and childish in her communication than Katherine Ames's.

Information is exchanged between two or more people every day. Talking face to face is the most common form of communication, although it can also be done through body language or electronics. Bad habits, interrupting for example, can irritate the other person and cause friction in a relationship. Deborah Tannen’s “Sex, Lies, and Communication” is effective because men and women converse differently and adapting to one another’s styles can be difficult.

Deborah Tannen is the author of Sex, Lies and Conversation: Why is it So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other. Deborah Tannen is a woman who researches the relationships between men and women. She has not only conducted research but also has information to support her view. In her essay Deborah Tannen argues complications happen in marriages/relationships due to individuals not being able to communicate with each other properly.

While I read “Can’t we Talk” by Tannem, I could not help but to reflect on my past experiences. I agree with what was written, men and women do communicate and hear things differently. I believe this is the cause of the issues in any relationship. Our interpretation of something may be opposite of what was intended. I understand how people take things wrong and then feel negatively by taking what was said out of context. When we misunderstand something, we need to question it or say how we feel, not trying to clear the air when something bothers you only festers negative feelings. The way one word is spoken and understood changes the intension of what was intended. The examples of the couples are spot on for what happens in communication.

Men and Women have different roles and cultures, and differences usually bring difficulty to understand each other. In article “Six Ways Men and Women Communicate”, Drobuck explains dissimilarity between males and females’ ways of communication. He writes “Men and Women desire to satisfy their partners, but they may miss the mark because it is truly difficult to understand and accept our partner’s different ways of communication.” Men are eager to figure out problems when they hear concerns from a partner. Furthermore, they like to have and focus on purpose of conversation. On the other hand, women are more likely to share emotions or make bond of sympathy. During conversation, women want to understand the partner’s feeling, and get rid of

“If women ruled the world, there would be no wars. Instead, there would be a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.” This quote is a perfect example of how communication between men and women vary. Communication has been and will continue to be the most essential aspect of human existence, which happens to differ greatly between men and women. Being aware of the differences between men and women in communication is significant in day-to-day interactions. Normally, conversation is a two way street between two individuals. There is ingoing and outgoing information, that is, one individual is listening and the other is communicating information. In general, men and women have very distinctive attributes but the fact that communication is such an important factor in our daily lives makes the art of communication such a dire process to understand. Imagine a world where communication between men and women were technically the same. The world would be much different.

The difference of communication between a woman’s point of view and a man’s point of view often makes living together very challenging.

Generally speaking, there are a lot of differences between men and women and it’s very evident that we have different ways of communicating. It was fun to read about and I could definitely relate to some of the differences explained because I have lived with just my dad and brother most of my life. I also seen many of the differences within my relationship with my boyfriend. The way we talk, respond and perceive things are all so different. There is a lot of information covering different parts of communication and I will be analyzing the ones that stand out to me the most in my paper.

Men and women have distinct differences in communication styles. Women are categorized by being more discussion oriented, while men are more action oriented. Depending on home environment and the way parents raise men and women, men sometimes are the ones who communicate most. Men who are raised around women are more apt to become more in touch with their sensitive side leading to being able to express their feelings more freely. Men and women are taught, through childhood guardians, to soar in different areas, with public awards to keep these goals desirable. Females are trained to demonstrate greater expressions of emotion, while males are taught to be solid and expressionless. Male belligerent and ruthlessness contradicts with the female desire to collaborate and avoid conflict. Men and women have communication differences, because of these early patterns that form during childhood and set into adulthood. There is many different communication styles between male and female but it helps each other to find their own personality, benefits on building connections between friends, and it keeps the wheels turning in marriages.