Deborah Tannen Taking A War Of Words In Summary

Deborah Tannen and William Lutz both discuss the difficulty of communicating. Their point of views may be different, but their conclusion is the same. Men and women have difficulties of communicating. Not because the two genders want to be complicated but simply because we don’t realize how or what we’re doing when it’s happening.

In the society we live today we surround ourselves with positivity and negativity. The stuff that is happening today are they getting better or worse? Based on the article “Taking a ‘War of Words’ Too Literally”, by Deborah Tannen, she defines the new norm of our society “the argument culture”. Tannen discusses her experiences and states that we are more confrontational and less open to others.

Deborah Tannen’s case study entitled “Can’t We Talk?” is the most relevant reading that I have ever done for any class. It relates to a problem that every person regardless of age, race or sex, will have to face many times in his or her lifetime. The problem is that men and women communicate differently and these differences can often lead to conflict. This case study is very informative because it helps to clarify the thought process of each sex. That said this reading leaves the reader somewhat unfulfilled because Tannen does not offer a solution to the problem.

In his book "The Shallows," Nicholas Carr claims, “With the exception of alphabets and number systems, the Net may well be the single most powerful mind-altering technology that has ever come into general use. At the very least, it’s the most powerful that has come along since the book” (Carr, 118). Carr supports this claim through examining other early inventions of man, such as the book, and using other 's opinions and evidence to prove the Net can alter the mind. The author suggests that because of this new mind-altering technology, we are in a modern renaissance. Carr establishes a cautionary tone for his audience, anyone who does and will use the Net, to raise awareness of how the Internet is refining people 's minds.

Technology has evolved so much over the course of 82 years. People who were living in 1935 would have no clue what a computer is or what it could potentially become. Education itself and how we learn has come a long way. Everything was hand written. Now in 2017, we have every answer with just one touch of a button. Google is a search engine that holds almost every answer in the world. There are many opinions on the way humans in 2017 function, and process information. Nicholas carr is a respect author who writes about the relationship between technology and culture. He has written for the Atlantic, the Wall Street Journal, the New York Times, etc. He has written two great essay that have won The Best American Science and Nature Writing, The Best collected in Several Anthologies, The Best American Science and Nature Writing, and The Best Technology Writing. One of them which is titled, “Is Google Making Us Stupid.”  Nicholas Carr argues that Google is not making humans stupid, but as technology progress our minds must adapt and change the way we think and process information. This essay has many rhetorical approaches. Nicholas Carr uses imagery, opinion, ethos, and pathos to persuade his audience, provoking a doubt on whether google is making humans stupid.

Lippman compares multiple things we tolerate by saying, “We miss the whole point when we imagine that we tolerate the freedom of our political opponents as we tolerate a howling baby next door, as we put up with the blasts from our neighbor’s radio,” (lines 42-44)Through this analogy Lippman stresses that we must not have a quiet voice while voicing our opinion on important topics, however we must still respect the opinion of our opponents. The comparison of tolerating small annoyances to an opposing opinion on meaningful subjects shows the vast difference between the two

In “Sex, Lies and Conversation” Deborah Tannen argues that the problems of men and women in marriage are caused by a misunderstanding rather than lack of communication. Throughout the passage she discusses theses misunderstandings and reveals the solution to the problem.

Over history technology has changed mankind’s overall culture. From clocks to computers the use of electronics and tools is occurring every day in almost all situations. In Carr’s article “Is Google Making us Stupid?” he introduces the idea how the internet is changing our lives by making us mentally process information differently from the past, based off previous changes in history. Carr explains how we think less deeply and rely on quick facts, versus using critical thinking and research. Also he explains how our brain is malleable, and may be changed by the internet’s impression. Lastly Carr talks about what the

Deborah Tannen’s essay “But What Do You Mean?” focuses on what she claims are differences between men and women when it comes to social interaction. The essay is sectioned into seven categories, in which she talks about how men and women tend to think and react when it comes to apologizing, criticizing, thanking, fighting, praising, complaining, and joking with others. In general, she seems to promote the idea that women tend to be more polite and refined, considering the feelings of others when conversing and taking everything as a formality. In contrast, men are apparently more blunt, taking a more direct approach with matters and being more unconcerned with how they may affect others. Women tend to automatically apologize and thank others

In, “The Influencing Machine,” author Brooke Gladstone explains that the changing media does not change our brains if we do not let it. This goes against all the fears of technology thus far, essentially making us humans the artificial intelligence.

Deborah Tannen's book, The Argument Culture, is a compelling piece that looks at the perceived "argument culture" that is permeating the United States and the West in general. I do agree with what Ms. Tannen is saying, that there is a form of argument culture, but I think it could be argued that there is a contrasting part of American society called a "nice culture" as well. On the one hand, you have people who will argue about topics whenever the opportunity arises, but on the other hand you have people who will avoid confrontation at all costs. Ms. Tannen somewhat acknowledges other ethnic cultures in the United States that tend to argue in different ways, "You do not have to go to a foreign country to experience these cultural differences [of how people argue in different cultures.] Americans of different ethnic backgrounds can experience them just by making friends." (Tannen, 211)Acknowledging ethnic culture differences is important but to homogenize it into just an argument culture is wrong.It could still be argued that there is a converse culture in the United States that is based around niceness and civility. You can see it in the world around you where you are taught to use your manners as much as possible or in fast food jobs where workers are supposed to be as "nice" as possible and if anybody makes a mistake they are supposed to apologize as sincerely as possible. Another example of this nice culture is contrast to the argument culture is when adults are arguing

In the article, "For Argument’s Sake: Why Do We Feel Compelled to Fight About Everything? Witten by Deborah Tannen. She express that we live in an argumentative culture, where everyone is entitled to their own freedom of speech and rights. Tannen shows that arguments rarely lead to an understanding, but rather that an argument becomes less about the topic at hand and more about proving the opposing side wrong ( Tannen, Deborah(,2008). She tells her stories in many different form to gather the audience’s attention. She then starts to use big words and different logics to appeal to a more intellectual audience. She then starts her stories by manipulating and persuading the unintelligent audience to pull them in so they would know that she is insulting them by using the bigger words, making them feel intimidated.

She tells a story of Roger Griswold, a federalist “attacking” Mathew Lyon, a Vermont representative with a “cane”. Page paints a picture of the Democratic-Republican never-ending battle of “chamber fire pit” and “fire tongs” as threatening objects and violence used amongst the opposing political party. Her vivid illustrations through charged and detailed diction creates a violent image. This creates a more in depth understanding of the issue. Page’s strong examples of of imagery conveys the audience of the abuse and destruction that is causing our country to become more and more divided. The contrasting opinions between one another should have nothing to do with the separation of our country. The public is “reflected in everything” from whom “they marry to where they get their news.” In reality we “spend time around those who think differently than we do”, however we seem to shun anyone who may think differently than ourselves. More than half of Republicans are reported to watch “Fox News at least a few times a week” while “Democrats are watching MSNBC [...].” Page uses these examples to show the audience that American citizens watch and pour their time into the things they agree with. This affects the audience by showing they have the tendency to gravitate towards things they agree with and not look at the

Conversation is a ritual every person must encounter throughout their lives in order to function properly with one another in today’s society. However, every individual has a “different idea about what’s appropriate” when approaching someone in any sort of conversation; that is why we are referred to as individuals (Tannen 327). There are thousands of diverse languages to speak to one another with, in fact that means there are thousands of different ways to offend each other with our words. Within those languages there are several contrasting gestures that can offend any single person, such as the amount of times individuals apologize in one meeting, giving criticism too harshly, or thanking someone so often it does not seem genuine. In the article “What Do You Mean,” Deborah Tannen touches upon apologies, criticism, and thank yous in further detail to explain where individuals go wrong within conversation and how they can fix their actions. Individuals find it satisfying to please others by being polite because it is the ‘right’ thing to do, however like myself others need to stand up for themselves and get directly to the point now in order to avoid conflict later in life.

Deborah Tannen is the author of Sex, Lies and Conversation: Why is it So Hard for Men and Women to Talk to Each Other. Deborah Tannen is a woman who researches the relationships between men and women. She has not only conducted research but also has information to support her view. In her essay Deborah Tannen argues complications happen in marriages/relationships due to individuals not being able to communicate with each other properly.