Deborah Tannen's I Only Say This Because I Love You, And The Conflict Styles Of Interpersonal Relationships

Reviewing the nonverbal and verbal cues identified in the last question, what are the roles that these play in the conflict? Do these cues lead to a more positive outcome or negative? How can nonverbal and verbal cues be used to lead to a more productive conflict resolution?

How many interpersonal conflicts have you been in today, this week, or even this month? Do you even know which conflict styles you normally use when faced with a disagreement? Furthermore, this analysis shall reflect on my particular conflict styles, with an in-depth look at possible benefits of knowing the conflict styles I tend to incorporate, and how behaviors change based on a relationship and the environment.

The article concludes that conflict will arise in relationships and that men and women typically handle conflict in different ways. Furthermore, it examines the various approaches each gender takes when dealing with conflict. For example, females are taught at an early age to discuss issues, “value relationships”, and be adaptive when confronting conflict (Wood, p. 212). Males , on the other hand, are socialized to not talk about conflict, be more aggressive, and try to fix

III. The “Obliging” style is used when there is low concern for one’s self but a high concern for the relationship. (Rahim Interpersonal Conflict”)

At the core of all conflict analysis is perception (Wilmot & Hocker, 2011). In interpersonal conflicts, people react as though there are genuinely different goals, there is not enough of some resource, and the other person actually is getting in the way of something prized by the perceiver (Wilmot & Hocker, 2011).

Hocker, J. and Wilmot, W. (2014). Interpersonal conflict (9thed). New York, NY: McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc.

Conflict is inevitable in any personal relationship or among members of any group. While we encounter many types of conflict in our lifetime, we often look for ways to avoid conflict. So, why do we run away from dealing with our conflict? It is often because many of us fear the conflict will escalate into a situation we will not be able to sustain. “As conflicts escalate, they go through certain incremental transformations. Although these transformations occur separately on each side, they affect the conflict as a whole because they are usually mirrored by the other side. As a result of these transformations, the conflict is intensified in ways that are sometimes exceedingly difficult to undo” (Pruitt, and Kim 89). We

In the article “Personal Conflict Styles” author Ronald B. Adler, Russell F. Proctor II, and Nell Towne teaches us that when communicating one’s needs in a conflict situation, there are clear differences between nonassertive, directly aggressive, passive aggressive, indirect, and assertive behaviors. Nonassertive is one of the behaviors one might show. Nonassertive is the inability or unwillingness to express thoughts or feelings in a conflict. Sometimes nonassertive comes from a lack of confidence. One study revealed that dating partners do not express roughly %40 of their relational grievances to one another. In contrast to non assertion, direct aggression occurs when a communicator expresses a criticism or demand that threatens the face

The movie “Temptation” is an example of interpersonal conflict. The movie is filled with different conflicts types mostly associated with miscommunication between two or more of the main characters. The genesis of interpersonal conflict is always inevitable where there is some level of relationship between individuals or groups who interact with each other in different social and professional settings. According to Sole, “The way in which each person deals with Conflict varies based on experience, personality and communication style. Often we do not know how we will deal with a particular circumstance until it occurs (Sole, 2011).

Dumlao, Rebecca. Botta, Renee.”Family communication patterns and the conflict styles young adults use with their fathers.” Communication Quarterly. Vol. 48 no. 2 Spring 2000: 174-189.

Conflict is generally defined by four criteria: expressed tension, interdependence, perceived incompatible goals, and the need for resolution (Wood,

“The story of us” is an excellent movie that portrays the roller-coaster of marriage in a humorous and cleaver way. The film reiterates the key concepts we have learned in our interpersonal communication class, in particular chapters ten and eleven on conflict management and improving communication climates. According to Gibb people feel defensive when they perceive that they are under attack. When defensive responses arise in interpersonal communications, it is the relationship itself that becomes defensive. This is evident in the Jordan’s communication patterns, the majority of exchanges between Ben and Katie

Although sometimes useful to break from the conflict to cool off, it tends to be destructive. As a forceful way to avoid conflict, it is active

The desire to satisfy the concerns of others, which shows itself in non-assertive behavior. These represent two behavioral dimensions and provide the basis for conflict-handling modes.

Beaton, Norris, and Pratt (2003) support this by claiming that unresolved issues do not necessarily cause tension in the family. “From our perspective, conflict refers to those issues in relationships that couples overtly verbally or nonverbally express continually” (Beaton, Norris, & Pratt, 2003, p. 144). Although they focus on intergenerational communications within the family, they point out that unresolved issues concerning intergenerational differences can create problems in marital relationships. So it is more important to focus on reasons why individuals choose to create continuous conflict, and why it is so important to impose personal opinions and beliefs on other people. Understanding what determines human behavior is the only way to understand why