I say, if you are not happy and nothing seems to be changing (and won’t change), do not dig the ground deeper under your feet. The deeper hole you dig, the harder it is to get out. The longer you dig, the deeper the hole becomes, and the longer you will feel miserable. Is this what your idea of ‘happily ever after’ is about - to sit in a deep hole and feel miserable? If not, then it is time to leave. Let’s take a look at this chart. It shows how our ability to leave is connected to the amount of B.S. we are willing to tolerate. The red line represents what we USUALLY do and the blue one – what we should be doing instead. Let’s take a closer look to understand what it all means. You see, there are times when we need to pause for a …show more content…
By the time we are ‘critical’ it means we are jaded and damaged way too much to peacefully move-on AND recover quickly. ~ Think of long term relationships where two people won’t even talk to each other. When they are in the same room they are still… miles apart. They have learned to co-exist without communication and they have learned to be alone. Is this the ‘skill’ they think they can utilize in their future relationships? Is this the only ‘communication’ model they think works? If this is the ‘new normal’ for them then communicating openly in the next relationship will seem hard and uncomfortable. ~ Think of a dating situation where a woman waits for years for her commitment phobic man to be ready. She is unhappy with the situation and HERSELF. In her mind, the minute he proposes she will become happy. She is looking at another human being as the source of her own happiness. And, if she stays long enough, she may actually believe that this is the only way (to feel happy). How twisted is this?? ~ Or how about relationships where we get preoccupied with ‘changing others’. We do not think we are in a happy relationship until they do A, B and C and then become D, E, and F. We want it our way, and rather than enjoying the present, we are stuck on their future potential. As time goes by, our biological clock keeps ticking, our waist line gets bigger, our face won’t look as fresh anymore…and we are still at square one. We are on a
Being in a relationship is like being in a roller coaster, sometimes you enjoy the ride, sometimes you don’t. Even with the passing of the years, this statement hasn’t had considerable changes. Many women see themselves trapped in relationships they are not satisfied with. While a few of them look for solutions in order to live a pleasant life, the majority resign themselves to stay in distressed affiliations.
“How many things have to happen to you,” Robert Frost Writes, “before something occurs to you?” A person wakes up every morning to the same gray walls and eats the same flavorless slop. Seeing no changes they seem to ask themselves if life is worth living. They are unhappy but are afraid of new environments and unknown areas. Wishing things can go back to when their worries were as simple as trying to memorize the multiplication tables. Although it is written that change is in every person’s destiny, there are several reasons a person might or might not seek out change. For instance, a person’s environment or way of living can be one of the hardest things to change. Living in the projects, bills to pay and people to obey are a few reasons many steer away from change. Secondly unexpected life events like suddenly having to become a parent and learning how to raise a baby while trying to balance sudden deaths that may occur. Thirdly, discovering a person’s true emotions for another human being can create what I like to call a domino effect. Whether you consider the environment to be the atmosphere around you or the place to which a person calls home, one thing is certain that in any environment a person must adjust in order to survive, and through any adjustments comes change.
Communication is important in relationships as it allows us to share our interest, concerns, and support one other; organize our lives and make decisions. Communication allows us to work together. Effective communication is based on the way we talk and listen, and how we respond with our body language. We can all learn how to improve the way we communicate but it takes more than words to create a safe, exciting and secure relationship. Too often the signals we send are not those we intend, when this happens, often both connection and trust are lost in our relationships.
Finally, I think that communication is a very important and a meaningful language for human existence of relationships. Furthermore, for a person it might be different how one would express this and for the other one who would perceive this. Thus, one important thing to keep in mind is how we all think because our bodies change our
Communication is important in all relationships regardless if the relationship is intended for love or other personal gains.
Communication is part of everyday life between people and can be used in many different ways. People communicate to build relationships with one another, but also to maintain those relationships formed. When a relationship is built through communication, people then can express their needs, wants and feelings to each other, as well as being able to reassure an individual. Communicating allows people to share thoughts, ideas and information to others where
Couples often feel pressured to be perceived as perfect and happy, functioning seamlessly. This mounting pressure may leave some people feeling frustrated and left out, causing them lash out in a flurry of backed-up feelings. Huston describes couples who overlook the flaws in their significant other, feeling the need to have a fairytale relationship.
Professor Deborah Tannen wrote an essay entitled Sex, Lies, and Conversation. In the essay, Tannen states that men and women have different ways of communicating in a relationship(422). For women, she claims communication is very intimate; they want to know what their spouse is thinking or how they're feeling (422). She argues that men don't seem to think communication is that important unless it's in a public setting (421). Tannen also claims that some women feel alienated when they think men aren't listening. She argues that men tend to not fully focus on the conversation, while women would rather have a more engaging conversation.
The underlying one is that conversation is a good thing and is necessary for proper growth in relationships. Some may think that this lack of conversation is simply how society is and is not necessarily a bad thing
If one's habits fail to match with one, it may tolerate that. However, non-matching thoughts and talks that can lead towards conflict, collapse, and breakup.
Just as self concept seemed a vicious circle, where this affects that and that effects this; relational development is the same. Relational development can alter our lives and our communication, while communication issues can alter our relational development and our lives. The relational perspective is a pragmatic one and focuses on the continuance of communication processes through relationships. (Rogers, 2004.) Relationships go through a series of stages. The initial and first encounter to a relationship is called the initiating stage. While in this stage, two people attempt to create favorably impressionable first impressions. In this stage you will look for cues about the other person’s personality, attitude, beliefs, and values so that you can progress the relationship. If the relationship continues and impressions are favorable than the two people move to the second stage, also known as the experimenting stage. In this stage people reveal themselves further but not completely since the stage is still a precarious one. If a common ground and understanding of each other is obtained then the relationship moves to the next stage, the intensifying stage. In this stage shared experiences becomes common and self disclosure is open. The next stage is the integrating stage, this is where the individuals usually become a couple. They have shared interests and attitudes, and sometimes talk or act alike. The other individual becomes like your other half. If things go awry than relationships often shift to the circumscribing stage. This is when couples start to self disclose less and less to the other person. Then comes the stagnating stage. At this point there is no communication and no activity between the two people. Sometimes there is an
“Happily ever after.” Whether in Disney movies or cheesy romance novels, these three words have been uttered a countless number of times in a manner of different ways. What society fails to acknowledge is the large impact it has on young girls and their perception of reality. This concept is not just a sweet ending to a heartwarming story that young girls can easily forget. No, rather it is a concept that is targeted at females and repeatedly encouraged by society. They are told what they should expect from relationships and marriage. Furthermore, they are told how to act and behave in order to have a functioning and healthy relationship with their significant other. However, life as we
It takes two individual to build a successful relationship. Relationships or marriage would be a success if the communications towards each other were strong. A strong and loving relationship is a source of great happiness in life. Unfortunately, a relationship that lacks communication can be a source of unhappiness. In addition, being in a relationship takes commitment, compromising and communication skills. Each individual has to share to each other their feelings and thoughts to know each other’s wants, and needs. Without shared understanding and lack of communication, the
Theory explains why as relationships develop, communication moves from less intimate levels to more intimate, more personal levels.
As a symbol of long lasting commitment to your one true love until death do us part. My great grandmother’s wedding ring has been passed down and is currently in my mother's possession since she is the oldest daughter. I hope that on my wedding day the ring will be passed down to me even though my sister is the oldest between the two of us. It’s very special to me because I love nothing more then imagining my own wedding someday in the near future and hope this heirloom that signifies long lasting love and commitment is passed down to me.