I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for ten years. It appears, that we are definitely in the deterioration stage in our relationship. Our communication behaviors are terrible, most of the time we talk at each other instead of to each other. We have grown apart in the last five years of our relationship. Most of the time, we hardly ever hold conversations with each other. For the first five years of our relationship, we were in the affinity seeking behavior stage even though, we had been together for quite some time. Now, it is evident to me that we are longer in the affinity seeking behavior stage. Everything that we once did to show our love, affection, and appreciation for each other, has come to an abrupt halt in our relationship. There is always some type of conflict between us. In the past, my boyfriend would always pay me compliments, buy me gifts, and most important to me he would check on my wellbeing. He no longer does things, nearly as often as he has in the past. My boyfriend rarely models past behavior, it appears that when he does it’s done from a guilty or obligated standpoint. Essentially, my boyfriend just goes along simply to …show more content…
My thoughts were if those affinity seeking behaviors were not being reciprocated, why I should even bother. The more I saw our relationship deteriorating right before my eyes, the more resentful I have become. I think about it now and I see that both my boyfriend and I have become complacent in this relationship. We are comfortable with being unhappy and with not addressing the real problems that we face. Five years ago, there was a major change in our relationship. I obtained a new job, where I began earning more of a salary than my boyfriend. From that moment on, I noticed a significant change in our relationship. It appeared, as if the power shifted from my boyfriend to me, and because of that power shift, our relationship reached a negative turning
Personality has been associated with an extensive range of relationship experiences, including satisfaction, quality and stability, but it is imperative to also ponder how intrapersonal traits are related with interpersonal behaviors that can ultimately cause the termination of dissatisfaction of a relationship.
I had issues with being intimate, especially PDA because I had never had a boyfriend, let alone held a boy’s hand in public. He is the exact opposite: loves to give and receive hugs, will hold his (girl) best friend’s hand in public, gives people kisses on the cheek, and the list goes on. My discomfort with intimacy and his unwillingness to understand that proved very problematic and caused a lot of strain on our relationship. According to an article by Carolyn Bernie (2010), “…the presence of intimacy (but not sexual intimacy) was associated with greater perceived relationship quality…”(Vol. 71, pg 45). Now that I am more comfortable with being intimate, not necessarily sexually intimate, but doing things like holding hands, and kissing, and more, I realize how important it can be to a relationship, especially to someone who is a naturally intimate person. However, I did not realize this until long after so back and forth the arguing went until we reached the breaking point and I decided to end it. Our fight only lasted a few weeks though, as both of us broke down saying we missed each other, and ended up dating again a month later. After more arguing, a jealous girl lying about him cheating on me, and the buildup of freshman year stress, we broke up again a few weeks before summer.
In the play Fences by August Wilson, Troy Maxson is the protagonist and can be portrayed as a meticulous, amusing, and dependable character. Rose Maxson is Troy’s younger wife and she is depicted as faithful, affectionate towards her children and husband, and iron-willed. Troy and Rose have been together for eighteen years and have a marriage that even the most cheerful people would envy; they can count on one another, they share jokes and laughs, and they have worked hard together to earn the things they have. Although their marriage seems well-built and joyful, this picture of bliss soon diminishes when Rose Maxson discovers a secret happening that her husband has been keeping from her. The audience or reader can see there has been an
I heard the Lord say: “Mike Pence will be My Daniel and Joseph in America, for there is power in My second-in-command!”
The study hypothesize that CSA survivors would have difficulty forming secure, intimate, nonabusive relationships and that CSA survivors are at risk for depression in low quality intimate relationships. Despite the overall quality of their intimate relationships, those that were severely abused reported feeling more anxious about their attachment to their partners (Aube, Judd & Whiffen, 1999). The partner that had a history of sexual abuse reported feeling unloved and abandoned by their partner but at the same time they felt like they could depend on them when they needed them. In adult attachment theory, this states that the survivor is experiencing an anxious attachment style. A limitation of this study was that they sampled women that were
Step three: Change the course of your relationship. To restore love you must change your negative attitude. It's time to bury the hatchet and start over. Leave bad feelings behind and start fresh.
While reading chapter two, the section of Relational Deterioration in the text spoke to me. Recently, I dealt with a situation in my life that was similar to this topic. The part that reached out to me the most was when the text stated, “…. researchers found a correlation between social network use, marital dissatisfaction, and divorce” (48). However, I know my spouse is not in any engagement with another women and having an affair, just much of his time is spent on the phone at home.
Pitch perfect is a modern comedic musical, which follows the journey of one college girl, Beca, through her membership of an all-girls acapella group. Through her experiences in acapella, she meets a man, Jesse, who is in their rival acapella group, and they exhibit an initial attraction towards each other. In this scene, Beca displays playful fighting and touching with Jesse with obvious signs of affection and gratitude for bailing her out jail. However, this emotion suddenly switches when she finds out he did not bail her out, he called her dad to. Beca became very defensive and independent once she knew her dad was there. Her severe very negative reaction
Life seems to undo itself weather you want it to or not. My husband became distant at first and our relationship became sporadic and isolated. I still loved him and tried my best to make him happy, however he became more and more turbulant and resentful towards me. One day his anger was gone and everything seemed like it was going great, I dont even remember what I said but I remember when he hit me. A black eye for 3 days and then an antagonizing yellow reminder of where my supposed place was in his insufferable
This is the first step towards repairing a relationship, and that is deciding if the effort
Do you Feel as though your partner’s behaviors are justified or that you deserve to be treated negatively?
First, when people have their own perspective of relationship on how they should be maintained compared to how society or different cultures depict relationships. Because the five factors of personal attraction affect friendships and relationships because have a major impact on how we all deal with each other on different levels. When dating and in imamate relationships and friendships there has to be different attractions that keep us connected or disconnected from one another. First you are attracted to them by Proximity which means when you feeling close to someone, there is also familiarity, when you are attracted to someone that you see often then you also have to have a similar attraction to someone which is called, similarity is somethings that you have with people like others who are like them. Also there is Physical appearance, when you like someone looks, reciprocity, you are also more attracted to people that are like them. “There are five important factors that initiate and predict interpersonal attractions: proximity, familiarity, similarity, physical appearance and reciprocity in liking” (Clarke, 1952). When searching for a friendship and romantic relationship these are the five factors that would necessary when searching for a healthy friendship or relationship. When dealing with society and different cultures sometimes our opinion about the right friendship and relationships.
Those with insecure attachments tend to have lower relationship satisfaction compared to those who are securely attached. Those who have a secure attachment style provide a caregiving role, their behaviors are responsive and sensitive, non-controlling and show interest during interactions. Secures are affectionate with touch, enjoy physical contact (intimate & sexual) and are willing to ask for support. Individuals with an insecure anxious attachment are more self-focused and always looking for approval and support from their partner regardless of low and high stress situations. Anxious attachment individuals are also over caring and hyper vigilant. Lastly, individuals with an avoidant attachment value independence and have low levels of self-disclosure. Avoidant individuals are less likely to use touch to express affection and are uncomfortable with intimate sexual contact. In short, being aware of your attachment style and your partners can shed light on marital conflict and possible solutions and corrective behaviors to better marital
We only wanted to spend time with each other, making social relationships outside ours difficult. Spending so much time together brought our first conflicts. I soon learned topical boundaries when bringing up other guys or discussing our different religions made John angry and uncomfortable. Conversations ended abruptly and we did not revisit the sensitive topics until much later. As our relationship moved beyond involvement, his protective instincts overpowered everything. I initially welcomed this protection as a sign of caring since I always wanted a boyfriend to protect me from conflict, just like in the movies. However, this overprotective trend stifled me whenever my communications with another guy made John jealous and upset. He tested my feelings for him by manipulating guilt when I looked in the direction of another guy, for whatever reason. At the time, I ignored his jealousy because my strong feelings for him overshadowed my needs as an individual. Looking back, I realize our involvement intensified throughout this period of our relationship, for better and worse.
After our relationship moved beyond involvement, his protective instincts overpowered everything. I actually welcomed this protection as a sign of his caring for me since I always wanted a guy to protect me from conflict, just like in the movies. However, this overprotection stifled me and made me feel guilty whenever my communications with another guy made John jealous and angry. He tested my feelings for him by making me feel guilty about even looking in the direction of other guys. At the time, I ignored his jealousy because my strong feelings for him overshadowed my own needs as an individual. Looking back, I realize our involvement actually intensified, for the better and the worse.