Deterioration Stages In Relationships

Decent Essays
I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for ten years. It appears, that we are definitely in the deterioration stage in our relationship. Our communication behaviors are terrible, most of the time we talk at each other instead of to each other. We have grown apart in the last five years of our relationship. Most of the time, we hardly ever hold conversations with each other. For the first five years of our relationship, we were in the affinity seeking behavior stage even though, we had been together for quite some time. Now, it is evident to me that we are longer in the affinity seeking behavior stage. Everything that we once did to show our love, affection, and appreciation for each other, has come to an abrupt halt in our relationship. There is always some type of conflict between us. In the past, my boyfriend would always pay me compliments, buy me gifts, and most important to me he would check on my wellbeing. He no longer does things, nearly as often as he has in the past. My boyfriend rarely models past behavior, it appears that when he does it’s done from a guilty or obligated standpoint. Essentially, my boyfriend just goes along simply to…show more content…
My thoughts were if those affinity seeking behaviors were not being reciprocated, why I should even bother. The more I saw our relationship deteriorating right before my eyes, the more resentful I have become. I think about it now and I see that both my boyfriend and I have become complacent in this relationship. We are comfortable with being unhappy and with not addressing the real problems that we face. Five years ago, there was a major change in our relationship. I obtained a new job, where I began earning more of a salary than my boyfriend. From that moment on, I noticed a significant change in our relationship. It appeared, as if the power shifted from my boyfriend to me, and because of that power shift, our relationship reached a negative turning
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