Dialectical Tensions Is The Opposing Forces Of Which A Relationship Works?

Dialectical tensions are important to practice and understand in order to maintain healthy relationships. There are three that are the most useful in my everyday life. They are autonomy verses connection, novelty verses predictability, and openness verses protection. I also use the three strategies of cyclic alternation, segmentation, and disqualifying to ease the dialectical tensions in life. I think it is important to know how to understand and work through these dialectical tensions in order to maintain healthy relationships.

In a journal discussing the behavior risks of children during a divorce, Gustavsen, Nayga Jr., and Wu state that “Divorce can also cause disruptions and emotional stress for children through parental separation, hostility, and residential/school dislocation” (474). Yes the loud arguing and vulgar words used between the parents while in the process of a divorce can be very emotional and hard for the child to hear, but so can the physical separation of the family in general. When a family is separated through divorce, the children can be bounced around from parent to parent depending on the legal situation or parenting schedule. The children may not gain a close relationship with one of the parents through this setup. A problem that may arise out of the setup is the hatred of the other parent being presented to the children. The children may form a bias of one of the parents based on the parents expressed views of one another. In a journal discussing the long-term effects of a divorce, it says that “Initially, Hetherington (1972) found that compared to other girls, daughters of divorced parents sought more attention from men” (Johnsson, Njardvik, Olafsdottir, and Gretarsson 101). Many children may not have had a strong connection or personal relationship with their father or mother because of the legal parenting schedule

In today’s modern world things are easily obtainable, people prefer instant gratification. If a married couple is not happy, instead of working things out, they seek instant gratification and an end to their misery which is a divorce. I believe marriage vows are not taken as seriously today as they were in past generations. When children are involved with a divorce the stakes go much higher. A divorce is a life changer for children, their lives become less stable and more disruptive. Instead of sleeping in the same comfortable bed every night, they often find themselves torn between two homes and two people that have a great dislike for one another.

Often enough, divorce usually has a negative effect on people. I am no exception to that. Though I was too young to remember what life was like before my parents separated themselves, having that life for as long as I can think of was not a good experience. It caused me to have a serious case of anxiety before going to my dad’s house for visitation, during, and after. No one likes to feel anxious or stressed, and I felt that everyday, all the time. I was a self-conscious, shy girl who wasn’t ready for complex

There is a great epidemic in the world today it’s called divorce. Divorce has affected so many families but most of all the children. “What may offer humanizing freedom for parents may be dehumanizing void for children.”( Root, A. 2010) Do you know why divorce is dehumanizing? “When dehumanization is in play there is little, if any consideration of the impact their betrayal will have on their mate.”(Reynolds,n.d.) According to Andrew Root divorce has deep and long lasting effects on children because it undermines a child’s ontological security. The divorce rate in the United States is the highest in the world. Over fifty percent of marriages end up in divorce.(Corcoran,K.O. 1994). Psychological and Emotional aspects of divorce.) What I’m going

The husband and wife would support one another and would overcome obstacles, whether it was financial or emotional conflicts. Real culture began to surface later on when divorce was deemed legal, when divorce slowly became the norm. “As social historian Barbara Dafoe Whitehead has observed of this period, ‘divorce was not only an individual right but also a psychological resource. The dissolution of marriage offered the chance to make oneself over from the inside out, to refurbish and express the inner self, and to acquire certain valuable psychological assets and competencies, such as initiative, assertiveness, and a stronger and better self-image (Wilcox 2009).” This became common thinking in society during the 1960’s and 1970’s when the meaning of divorce blossomed into a new perspective.

According to Marquart (2006), “after a divorce the job of making sense of the two worlds and the conflicts that arise between them doesn’t go away—it gets handed from the adults to the children(p. 215). When living with one parent a child may develop a sense of confusion when it comes to the family hierarchy because of the loss of one or more of the leader figures in the household (Kumar, 2011). Loss of one of the family incomes and

According to Adler, Rolls, & Proctor (2017) Dialectical Tensions is defined as when conflicts exists between two opposing or incompatible forces exists simultaneously. The incompatible goals I seek between my parents is openess versus privacy. I wanted to be more open to my parents ever since I was young but then they are so strict and very conservative that there was a point that I choose to keep things from them. It was only when I was old and mature enough that I understood that being open and having somethings kept private is one way for my parents to lighten up and give me their trust. That goes the same for me, using the segmentation strategy works really well as I was able to filter out what I need to share or communicate with my parents.

The core concept that stands out of relational dialectics theory is contradiction (Griffin, 2009). A contradiction happens whenever you have two interdependent forces that mutually work against each other (Griffin). This is continually happening in relationships because they are in a constant state of flux. Relationships are constantly changing and there is no complete certainty. Baxter and Montgomery give the example of contradiction as a game of tug-of-war created through interpersonal conversations. Moreover, these theorists believe that contradictions are inevitable and can be used to constructively enhance the quality of relationships (Griffin).

     Divorce is a family crisis, which could require a long period for recovery. Along with the turmoil associated with the adolescent stage of life, divorce adds other

Johnson et al. also conforms another task which is to form intimate and differentiated relationships with peers. They are also jointing the workforce and developing working identity and gaining financial independence. However, according to Hughes (n.d) the emotional turmoil of their parents’ divorce can make it difficult for them to focus on a career or form friendships. Hughes added that making life-altering decisions in this stage of the life cycle can be extremely difficult for the men and women of divorce.

This article talks about divorce-stress-adjustment perspective. The article review draws on research that goes all the way back to the 1990s and it basically answers the following questions: What factors mediate the effects of divorce on individual adjustment? Are these differences due to divorce or to selection? How do individuals from married and divorced families differ in well-being? Do these differences reflect a temporary crisis to which most people gradually adapt or stable life strains that persist more or less indefinitely?

Divorce can effect many things that happened in a person’s life. Many of the research done today focuses on the effect of divorce on work and finances; things that effect a person’s wellbeing for their future. However, not many research done on divorce discusses what happens to the family system in a family as a result of divorce, including the effect it has on the many relationships that make up the family. After researching the affects of divorce on relationships, it has become clear that relationships in the family decline in each relationship that makes up the family. What has not been prominent until now is that these relationships continue to decline as the children of divorced families become adults. The five articles reviewed in this

Divorce is a plague that is destroying numerous families across the United States of America. Sadly, when husbands and wives divorce, the children are often caught directly in the middle. Throughout the years divorce has been becoming more and more common. In the 1920's it was a rare find to know a person whom had been divorced, today it is a rarity not to know of one who has been, or will be divorced. Divorce has numerous effects on the structures of families, and many devastating effects on the children that must experience it, although sometimes necessary, divorce radically changes the lives of adolescents and adults alike.

Beaton, Norris, and Pratt (2003) support this by claiming that unresolved issues do not necessarily cause tension in the family. “From our perspective, conflict refers to those issues in relationships that couples overtly verbally or nonverbally express continually” (Beaton, Norris, & Pratt, 2003, p. 144). Although they focus on intergenerational communications within the family, they point out that unresolved issues concerning intergenerational differences can create problems in marital relationships. So it is more important to focus on reasons why individuals choose to create continuous conflict, and why it is so important to impose personal opinions and beliefs on other people. Understanding what determines human behavior is the only way to understand why