Differences: What Are Unspoken Agreements?

The problem in relationships comes from the individuals. Everybody has some sort of longing, deep inside. Everybody also has a fear that correlates with what we truly want. These core fears that we all struggle with influence how we interact with others. If somebody presses one of our “fear buttons”, we react in different ways that lead to conflict. The first step to having better relationships is discovering what your want is, which will lead to your core fear. Looking at the list on pages 26-27, I can see that my wants are “connection/companionship” and “love/approval.” These are the wants that are most personal to me. I know that I want to feel deeply connected with others and share close, intimate relationships with people. I also want to feel attractive, liked, and accepted. For me, these cause my core fears to be loneliness/disconnection and Condemnation/Being scorned. However, looking at this list of wants and fears, I think they are all true at different points in life. Many of them seem to be synonyms or at least closely related. It is hard to narrow the options down because most of them are so relatable. These wants/fears are what play into all the conflicts in our

Most people are very convinced that they have memories of past experiences because of the event itself or the bigger picture of the experience. According to Ulric Neisser, memories focus on the fact that the events outlined at one level of analysis may be components of other, larger events (Rubin 1). For instance, one will only remember receiving the letter of admission as their memory of being accepted into the University of Virginia. However, people do not realize that it is actually the small details that make up their memories. What make up the memory of being accepted into the University of Virginia are the hours spent on writing essays, the anxiety faced due to fear of not making into the university and the happiness upon hearing

Not adhering or clinging to the facts of the narrative is later described as pointless. In this case, the world is saying to disregard the things that add to one’s identity. “You can’t put the past behind you. It’s buried in you; it’s turned your flesh into its own cupboard” (Rankine 63). Describing memory as facts show that there is some clear evidence to those memories regardless of what the world says. The importance of those facts in memories experienced through an individual help create that individuals present identity.

“The past beats inside me like a second heart.” This is an important quote from an accredited novelist called John Banville. He is basically stating that memories help give people life. They are the things that make us who we are today. One thing that threatens this beautiful thing that makes us who we are is Alzheimer’s. It is a detrimental disease that mostly attacks today’s elderly. Most people do not know how bad this disease is today because the world is focused on other diseases without realizing how dangerous this disease can be. Alzheimer’s is a growing problem in this society and needs to be attended to so we can find a cure.

One just does not wake up one morning thinking that their going to be all sunshine and rainbows out of thin air, nor do they just decide to become a jerk. This usually happens based on what happened in the past, maybe they had a really fun day the day before and were happy about it. Memories are what make us who we as a person. Past trauma could lead one to become shy around others or more aggressive, a strict childhood could make one more strict towards others and always wanting things to be done perfectly. A person's personality is built upon their memories, how they were raised, what friends they had, dreams, and expectations are all things that makes one who they are. My own memories still affect me to this day, I am not great with people as in the past I had trouble speaking. So I prefer to stay quiet and let others do most of the talking. I remember the adrenaline and accomplishment when I first climbed a mountain, to this day I love hiking. The memories I have of being bullied make me stand up to it, as well as the pain that is felt thinking that no one knows what you are going through. I use those memories so that I hope I can anyone going through the same experiences. My own memories even ones from my earliest childhood still make me who I am today and I could not imagine a world where I did not have my memories. Everything a person does in their life

It is the meshing of both history and memory and their undeniable link that allows us to gain empathetic

Memories shape, influence, and transform us into one unique human being. Being significant in our past, we tend to go back and reference to the negative ones. However, rough memories hinder people in their effort to learn from the past and succeed in the present and near-future. I agree with Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot to a certain extent considering that we revert to them an excessive amount of time, not allowing us to grow as people and form new memories, nonetheless, keeping the important positive memories making us feel wanted and loved as people.

Relationships are similar to a seesaw, as the seesaw tips according to the persons sitting on the two sides; a love relationship can also lean according to the mentality of the couple in the said relationship. All they both want is what every woman wants to be loved feel special and have a fairy tale ending. They end up with the same end result learning how to love themselves in the end and not needing a man. Love and the pattern of relationships will often be fashioned on a person’s upbringing and the family life they experienced. While a person may have come from a loving home with parents who respected each other, shared responsibilities and managed to stay married, this will perhaps be the kind of relationship they will want for

The future as it pertains to victims who have experienced a traumatic event will remain vague and uncontested as long as the memories of these individuals remain relevant. The lack of acknowledging the past and future are commonalities among those who have survived trauma related incidents. The limitations set by this allotting the individual to only focus on present time is experienced at least until the specific event is incorporated into a narrative. The cognitive capacity to envision the future and remember the past allows the person to self-identify as the same person over time. These traumatic events act as a hindrance that nullify the ability have a self. These memories accelerate the loss of control experienced during the recall of specific events. This creates an uncontrollable loss of functionality. Trauma survivors long for the events to have never occurred so they can return to their formless that they were more familiar with and less tarnished. Traumatic memory recovery relies for the most part, on other people.

In remembering past events, I am able to use them as reference, and sometimes assurance. A personal example, somewhat juvenile, but also effective, is when my first pet died. I was devastated and wanted to just clear my mind of the event, but I didn't. After time, I recovered, but maintained the memory of this horrible tragedy. Later in life, another pet died. I looked back to that memory as a guide and learned from it that in time I would be fine and to just hang on. In this situation, a memory served as a reference and catalyzed in my personal growth and

Our mind functions to remember truths that we would rather not face like negative memories or bad experiences.

When both of you are in the relationship purely for one another is one key feature that should be found in all relationships because this enables both parties to focus more on giving to their partner and not what they are getting from them, because this is selfish and selfishness in a relationship could men not really loving the person for who they are but merely just loving them for what they have, what they can offer you and how you can benefit from that.

the past can occur once more. Basically, it implies that so as to work out and perceive what's occurring

This quote reminds me of the process of what goes through my mind everyday. When you start to think about past experiences you can learn and see things in a new light after thinking about it for a little while. Your brain keeps on thinking of other memories that were similar. This can bring a source of comfort. Thinking about some of past good memories you made.

There is need to establish a good relationship between couples because this helps them in solving their marriage and family problems harmoniously. Statistics show that a family with good relationship among the partners will solve their problems harmoniously (Guest, 32). The reason for a couple to get married is to give each other mutual relationship where each of