Disordered - Original Writing : Disordered

893 Words Sep 7th, 2016 4 Pages
Disordered Walking into the Psychiatrists office, I was immediately calmed by the fact that I was seemingly the only presence in the waiting room. The décor was very dark and heavy; a mishmash of large wooden plush leather and floral print couches lined each side of the room and a single oriental rug paved a walkway leading back to the doctor’s personal office. The lighting was dim, and gave off a subtle yellow glow, it felt like I had just walked into someone’s personal study. I remained by the door, not sure of whether I should sit down or speak to a receptionist (although there appeared to be none.) The original calmness that I had felt was now melting away and being replaced by calculating anxiousness. Do I just stand here? Will no one greet me? What if I am in the wrong suite? This was a bad idea, maybe I should leave… No. I have to stay. I need to be fixed, I reminded myself. You see, for years I have been plagued by this monster that keeps me trapped in a vicious cycle of over analyzing everything around me; playing out every possible scenario. It distracts; often causing me to seem stand-offish and aloof. It paralyzes; literally. I can recall one occasion where my family decided to dine out, and I could not even bring myself to get out of the car. I watched them that night through the front windshield, laughing and enjoying the company of one another. I ended up eating a cold soggy meal from a Styrofoam to-go box, alone at my kitchen table.…
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