Distrust and Betrayal: A Tablemates Experience

Friendships are constructed over time through the innuendo of mutual trust. Time is the only factor that gains trust and cannot be expected or granted to. There are plenty of circumstances where the absence of trust was the misnomer for failure in relationships. We can place trust at the highest point in the pyramid of morals, but how do

What is trust? The dictionary meaning of trust is a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something. The second meaning is, confidence placed in a person by making that person the nominal owner of property to be held or used for the benefit of one or more others. But what can we really define as trust? In this paper, I will discuss how trust is used every day in different situations, how we deal with trust in various relationships, and how we as individuals practice trust within ourselves.

In this book, trust is defined as “one’s willingness to be vulnerable to another based on the confidence that the other is benevolent, honest, open, reliable, and competent.” (page xiii) The author recognizes that trust is complex and dynamic. She views trust as the “lubricant” that greases the machinery of the organization. Trust is particularly important where parties are interdependent, or the “interests of one party cannot be achieve without reliance upon another.” In schools “teachers and principals are

Trust is one of many components of life and it is shown through our actions and how we carry ourselves. We as human beings learn to trust each other by the words we say to one another and the actions we show to others. There are many lessons we can learn through the short but powerful story by Langston Hughes “Thank You. Ma’am”. Throughout the story there are several lessons and traits that the reader can interpret such as thinking twice before you execute the plan that you had in mind, sympathy, charisma, and even giving second chances. But more importantly, there is one lesson that specifically plays a huge role in the story itself and in American culture today, and that is trust others. There are several ways these lessons and interpretations can be put into real life situations and how they can affect us today in real time.

“Distrust naturally creates distrust, and by nothing is good will and kind conduct more speedily changed.” -John Jay

Human vulnerability stems from mistakes in conversation and trust comes from our vulnerability. Vulnerability in relationships comes from the mistakes that we make. Mistakes are what Turkle points to as being the reason for relationships being rich and messy (42). We make mistakes because we have to translate how we think into something that other people can understand. Communication is getting over that translation and the mistakes that we make are a part of

In Stephen M. R. Covey’s The Speed of Trust: The One Thing That Changes Everything, he gives some great tips on how to gain, keep, and rebuild the trust of others, whether they be coworkers, family members, customers, or complete strangers. He emphasizes the importance of trust in every relationship, purporting that relationships are built on and sustained by trust. And even the best relationships can be broken and destroyed by lack of trust. Without trust, actions are misinterpreted and motives are questioned. Covey contends that trust always affects two outcomes – speed and cost. When trust increases, speed increases and costs decrease. Conversely, when trust decreases, speed decreases and costs increase. The Speed

From a young age people are taught both trust and distrust. Children are instructed to respect authority figures. They are also warned to not get in a car with strangers, not take candy from strangers, and often to not even talk to strangers. While people are expected to be respectful, they are simultaneously trained to be suspicious and skeptical. This begs the question of when and where trust should be placed. In The Confidence Man, author Herman Melville uses the vehicle of a disorderly ship on which men are both distrusting and untrustworthy, to raise the question of whether or not people should trust one another. In Luck, Mark Twain addresses the same theme of trust through presenting the narrative of a naive man who has gained glory

Sometimes one will believe that they can trust somebody, but then that trust gets taken for granted, twisted, and then churned out in the backwater. No, this always isn’t the case, but in some relationships this is exactly what happens. Every once in awhile an exception happens which means the relationship leads to a renewal and birth of different relations between the people. This paradox then begs the question: Does trust lead to betrayal? In the book “And Then There Were None” Agatha Christie applies this questions to all of her characters that are trapped on an island with a phycological battle on whom to trust, and what will happen when they let their guard down.

I proceeded to look around for my best friend, Geoffrey, whom I had gone to grammar school with and transferred to the same high school with. Geoffrey was as tell as I was, and even more lanky. He had curly hair that looked like a jumbled mess on top of his head. He was sitting at a table with a few guys that I recognized but did not know personally. The only one that I knew was Michael, as I shared every class with him. Michael was a small guy, with short, blonde hair. Geoffrey invited me to sit with them, which is when I was introduced to the idea of making a YouTube video. Geoffrey and his two friends, Dylan and Wes (who were difficult to tell apart as they both wore long, dark hair that went across their eyes), were in an English class together. The teacher assigned a project based on the book that they had recently read, “To Kill a Mockingbird” and they decided that they were going to make a YouTube interpretation of the book. They then proceeded to ask if I wanted to join. At first, I was hesitant. I had no real desire to participate, but decided that I would for Geoffrey’s sake. In retrospect, it is safe to say that I accepted the offer because I was, in a sense, lost and looking for

Trust is incredibly important, in some cases trust may even lead to a punishment. Throughout the movie Finding Forester it is shown how trust will effect a relationship with Jamal and Forrester. Forrester is an older man who is a writer, Jamal, who is a high school aged boy has a passion for writing. Jamal regularly visits Forrester which enables them to not only gain trust, but also helps Jamal find a mentor who helps him revise and edit his papers. Professor Crawford lacks trust and accuses Jamal of plagiarizing then creates a conflict for Jamal. One can develop trust in comfortable places, if one has little trust a conflict may arise; meanwhile, if one has deep trust it may also cause a conflict.

“Trust: belief that someone or something is reliable, good, honest, effective, etc.” (Merriam- Webster Dictionary). Distrust in a relationship occurs when the trust between two people is diminished. Distrust can have many negative affects on a person including: trust issues, anxiety, suspicion, fear of opening up, etc. Symptoms of distrust can depend on the severity of the distrust in the

“Loyalty is hard to find. Trust is easy to lose. Actions speak louder than words.” Today’s society is me-centered instead of we-centered. Couples become individuals, families become separated, bonds are broken, and trust is nowhere to be found. Disrespect, honesty, and disloyalty are three main categories that are allowing these separations and losses to occur.

In order for interpersonal trustworthiness to exist in organizations, a leader-follower relationship must first exist between the parties involved (Caldwell et al., 2010, p. 500). Once that leader-follower relationship is established, leaders have to earn trust. Leaders earn trust by their respective actions, morals and virtues. Trust is can also be based on past history. If something was done in the past which questions a leader’s values, morals or judgment, it would be unlikely that the leader would be trusted in the future. One of the most important parts of being an effective leader is building and maintaining trust. Trust can further be defined as a “multi-dimensional construct comprising different dimensions of the trustee’s attributes that the trustor evaluates” (Ingenhoff and Sommer, 2010, p. 341).

"If you get off on the wrong foot, the relationship may never be completely right again. It's easier to rebuild trust after a breach if you already have a strong relationship." (Live Science. 2009)