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Divorce: The Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse

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The Smith family is African American that lives in Saint Louis, Missouri. The family consists of two middle-aged parents having two daughters. The daughters’ names are Aliyah and Sarah. Sarah, the oldest is in eighth grade, and attends a very good middle school. Aliyah the youngest, attends the fourth grade at a good elementary school. . In this household both parents work. The mother is a nurse at Barnes hospital, while the father is a computer technician at a company. After many issues the parents eventually divorced about three years back. The father re-married last year to a young woman that has a four-year-old son. Overall, the family social-economic developments are that they are very well off living in a safe suburban neighborhood. …show more content…

He theorized it was the way or the process the couple dealt with their conflict and anger. In this theory there are four types: criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling. Contempt in terms of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is when one spouse feels inferior or desirable. Criticism is making judgmental comments to the spouse. Defensiveness is defending oneself when they believe they are being attack by their partner. The last Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is stonewalling which is ignoring their partner completely. In relations to the Smith’s family, before they got their divorce, I have seen all these types being acting upon when I was around them. For example, contempt, when Mrs. Smith would like to discuss why Mr. Smith was late for dinner or didn’t pick up something home from work, he would not take her seriously. He would be sarcastic or roll his eyes about the situation. He would usually do some type of disrespectful action that will arise more tension between the couple. However, Mrs. Smith wasn’t’ so innocent when it came to their relationship. She would usually use another one of the Four Horseman of the …show more content…

Smith decided to remarry to a woman that had a four-year-old son from a previous marriage. So, Aliyah and Sarah gained a stepmother after the marriage. The textbook brings up a term called the stepmother trap. The stepmother trap relates to society views that the stepmother is unusual cruel to her stepchildren. In the case of the Smith family, this never crossed any of the family members’ minds. Lauran- Mr. Smith new wife- gradually worked up her relationship with the children. This actually is very common according to the textbook. There was a study that was done with 265 stepmothers about what they think their roles should be as stepmothers. Most of them answered they would like to included in family activates but don’t expect to replace their stepchildren’s’ mother. Also, most of them answered that they believe the more time they spend with the family the more they will be included and accepted as part of the family. Mr. Smith and Lauran didn’t rush things. They dated for several years before making the conclusion of marring each other. They made sure that all the children were okay with the new situation that will take place within their

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